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I know I shouldnt feel down...

...but I do.

My 18th is in 2 weeks time and nothings happening.

The reason? I have no money. No money to go out and no presents coming in apart from small ones from friends.

I really wanted a running machine that I've had my eye on all year...but my parents told me that they simply can't afford it. I don't mind...but its all changing. I guess I've always relied on my parents for money and they've never ever turned me down...until my dad realised he was in a load of debt and stopped spending. (he never told me, he just stopped giving me money).

I guess I have been spoilt...but I'm finding it really hard to survive and my mum + dad explained the situation to me a week back. I immediately realised I had to get a job but was told by all the local shops that the christmas temp jobs have gone!

As soon as I turn 18 I'm heading down the job center to get any type of job. However...I'm just finding it hard not celeberating my birthday...I can't explain. :frown:

I guess I am a spoilt brat.

:frown:

I'm ranting and my english is crap. Please keep this anon...I don't want my friends to see.

I'm not in poverty I know...I guess I am lucky without material goods. My real life friends are just saying my parents are a bit harsh for not getting me anything for my 18th. One of my mates actually said "I swear your dad just bought a mercedes...why would he buy one if he didn't have any money?!"

Reply 1

kinglrb

you could just like borrow some money from your dad or anything. Then go out for a meal with some close mates, you might have to ask them to pay. If they're good friends they wouldn't mind. I dunno make the best out of it mate.

Reply 2

SoundDevastation

i think its fair enough to feel down if you're not doing anything nice for your 18th! especially if you're used to being able to get things.

Jobs arent as bad as they seem! dont take the first crappy place that comes along though.. try applying all over the place. i recommend applying to John Lewis, they treat their staff really nice :wink:

Try and think of a different way to celebrate your 18th... going out for a meal maybe? or invite your mates over for a piss up (if male)/ girly slumber party (if female) :p:

Reply 3

Spudder

You can still celebrate your birthday easily, maybe throw a party. You can spend hardly anything if your real life friends have to bring their own booze (it's not a stingy thing to do, it's common sense). Your mates sound quite ignorant too, but if they are to blame at all for feeling down just don't pay attention to their innocuous comments.

Reply 4

TimeLady

Why dont you get a group of friends together around your house? You can have music, they can bring their own drinks, and you can have a laugh! You dont have to splash out to have a good time. As long as you're with people you like, thats the main thing :smile:

Dont worry about not having too much money. Lots of people dont have it, and they just make do. I guess its hard for you going from being well off, to not being as well off, but thats just part of life, i suppose. Chin up, and make the most of what you've got :smile:

Reply 5

mollymustard

There are two issues here from what I can see. The first is your family being in debt, the second your birthday.

With the birthday thing I totally know where you are coming from. Its my 18th on Saturday and it was supposed to be having a big party, until my mum confessed she didnt have the money for it. I'm not going to lie, it got me down. Not because I'm spoilt but because Ive always wanted to share my birthday celebrations with all my friends.
The thing is, you can also come to lots of compromises and things. You can arrange to go clubbing or even to the pub with your mates. If you invite everyone you know, you're sure to have a great night and get lots of free drinks bought for you.
If you go for a meal... your friends will probably end up paying for you anyway.

Now there is also the issue of your parents finances. Trust me, sudden loss of money (I know its happened to me), is very hard to deal with. Especially if your friends have this preconcieved idea that you are loaded. There are always corners you can cut, and you have to just try to be that little bit less materialistic. Just because people cant afford to buy you things, does not mean they dont love you or want to spoil you senseless. Just because you cannot afford things doesnt make you any less important than anyone else, or make you an object of pity.
Try to explain the situation to your friends again, once they understand Im sure things will clear themselves up a bit.
As for the job, get posting/handing out those CV's and Im sure you will have something in no time.
And okay Xmas and your birthday might not be full of huge presents this year, that doesnt mean you cant still have a good time. Sometimes even the most simple nights out or even in, turn out to be the ones you remember.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Well I was thinking of not doing anything yet...because I know its tradition to get pi*sed on your birthday but I feel really weird doing that when my parents can hardly afford the shopping every month...I dont even feel like inviting friends round because your right...they aren't the best of friends. Just people I can go out with. I have a few best friends coming round with a cake

I was thinking not doing anything and maybe going clubbing after I get a job and start earning some money?

I know this money problem has been going on for quite a long time...I just never realised until I wanted something really badly and made a big deal out of it, thats the only way I got my dad to tell me.

By the way I'm a guy. (If that matters)

Reply 7

prettygreeneyes99

Dont you have any other family members that could loan you cash, or maybe a close friend?

Reply 8

Katy94

Its fine that you feel down about things and you aren't spoilt (i don't know you so i'm not completly sure on that one!) just because you're feeling a bit disappointed and let down doesn't make you spoilt. Don't be too harsh on yourself! Just let yourself feel down for a while. Masking your feelings does not always help! Just remember that it might not be your parents fault so don't be too hard on them either.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

prettygreeneyes99

Dont you have any other family members that could loan you cash, or maybe a close friend?

Unfortunately no. My parents have always been there with money. I have never ever asked anyone else for money. Its just like "Dad can I have 20 quid to go out?" and he hands it to me.

Its all changing now...I wish they had told me earlier so I could've gotten a job...contributed a bit to the house and maybe been able to throw a proper 18th party.

I don't blame my parents at all. I'm just feeling a bit strange not doing anything for my 18th. I don't even FEEL like doing anything when I know how much debt my parents are in...

Reply 10

Katy94

Then just keep your celebrations low-key, you'll find ways to celebrate without splashing out. When you've got a little bit of money celebrate then, also then you won't be as worried so it will be easier to celebrate this may be quite a few weeks after your real birthday but it doesn't matter.

Reply 11

mollymustard

Anonymous

I don't blame my parents at all. I'm just feeling a bit strange not doing anything for my 18th. I don't even FEEL like doing anything when I know how much debt my parents are in...

Hmmm. Its a tricky one.
But seriously, I'm sure if you went out to the pub for a few drinks you'd get them all bought for you.
If you make a pledge to yourself not to spend, you probably wont.

As for it getting you down, its understandable but I bet theres alot of your friends whos parents are in a much worse finanical situation. Make the most of your birthday! You can get a good night out for peanuts if you put your mind to it!