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Thought you were PC illiterate? Take a look at This watch

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    Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin" yet. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:



    1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.



    2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.



    3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.



    4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.


    5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.




    6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.



    7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...




    8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"



    9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.


    10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:

    CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

    TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

    CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

    TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

    CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

    TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

    CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

    At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.



    11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."


    12. And last but not least:

    TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

    CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".

    TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."

    CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"

    TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

    CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
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    Those are pretty good, but...

    (Original post by PuffDaddy)
    The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder
    ... everyone does that!
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    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
    Customer: "OK."
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'C-L-I-C-K'." (At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)
    Tech Support: "OK, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"
    Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"
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    They still make me cringe, even now
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    Some of them are pretty good.
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    I am sure I read these in the back of the May 1993 Computer Shopper Magazine but they are still funny.
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    (Original post by G4ry)
    There's also the story of the support guy who told the caller to right click on the desktop and go to properties. The caller responded that it wasn't working. The support person asked what the caller was doing. The caller responded, "i type in "W-R-I-T-E" and click - and nothing happens."
    shouldn't it be "I write "C-L-I-C-K""?
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    (Original post by dinkymints)
    shouldn't it be "I write "C-L-I-C-K""?
    Absolutely right, i'm terrible at re-telling jokes/stories. I'll edit.
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    Haha that was great
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    Another story - this one's good.

    After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
    Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?
    Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...
    Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...
    Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the start-up files...
    Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...
    Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system start-up files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...

    For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...

    Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...
    Customer: I knew it!
    Technician: Just add the line "RUN NOSMOKE.COM" at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...
    About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...
    Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...
    Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using? Customer: MS-DOS 6.22...
    Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for the latest version. Let me know how it all works out...

    When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...

    Customer: I need a new power supply...
    Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?
    Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...
    Technician: What did he tell you?
    Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...
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    hahahahahaahahha,lol
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    I'm sure I've posted this before but hey, my mum got a digital camera after several phone calls she managed to down load the pics and then decided to e-mail me one.

    mum "did you get the pic I sent?"

    me "yes, the quality isn't very good and the file was huge. I think you'd be better sending it as a JPEG"

    mum "well it wasn't huge when I printed it, just normal photo size"

    Me "It's the way the computer stores the picture, JPEG is better if you are going to e-mail it.

    mum "well how come it got bigger? I printed it and put it in the scanner, did the scanner make it beiiger?"

    me"did you say scanner?"

    mum "yes, that's how I normally send you pictures from my other camera"

    me (trying not to giggle) "you don't need to print the pictures before you e-mail them, you can just e-mail the file from your computer"

    mum "can I? how do I do that then?"

    This is why I am so darn good at HCI, I'm crap at programming but great at designing for idiots / my mum. If I can design a system my mum can use then anyone can use it.

    Oh and this is the woman who didn't have enough space on her computer so decided to delete a large file - she uninstalled windows!

    Maybe I should go work for Dell.
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    (Original post by sashh)
    Oh and this is the woman who didn't have enough space on her computer so decided to delete a large file - she uninstalled windows!
    My Dad did somthing similar

    I think he uninstalled Office which wasn't very good becuase I couldn't get hold of another copy.
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    In the IT classroom there was an ex-classmate of mine who studied IT and asked me how you switch the computer on! I know it was an Acorn but that's not the point. And she was meant to be getting a B in GCSE IT :confused:
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    lolol!! ive had some classic moments with people i had to support like that too! *ahh the memories*
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    i've had a similar problem (this actually happened) but it wasn't really technology related.

    Customer phoned up and says he doesn't have his Retirement Pension book.

    I look on the system, and he's picked it up, and used it to withdraw one week's money already.

    He insists he hasn't got it, and makes a huge fuss.

    I insist that he has, and he starts being getting very irate, complaining about benefit fraud and how someone's nicking off his money.

    20 minutes later, he says to me: 'I'll just go and get my benefit books to prove to you that I don't have it'....

    He wanders back, and says: i can't read or write.... I have this book here I'm not sure what it's for, but I'll spell out the words on the front of the book for you:
    R E T I R E M E N T P E N S I O N B O O K :eek:

    i told him that was his pension book, and he went all quiet, and said, OH! well in that case i'm sorry to trouble you!
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    sum1 once foned me at work and asked what the phone number was.... i told her the number. less than 1 minute later the fone rang and it was the same woman fonin 2 ask if there was a computer fair on that day
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    sum1 once foned me at work and asked what the phone number was.... i told her the number. less than 1 minute later the fone rang and it was the same woman fonin 2 ask if there was a computer fair on that day
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    Tech Support: "'Ok, now click your left mouse button."
    Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."

    Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
    Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
    Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
    Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
    Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
    Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
    Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
    Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
    Customer: "What do you mean?"
    Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
    Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
    Tech Support: "And that is what?"
    Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
    Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
    Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
    Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
    Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it."
    Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
    Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."
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    Customer: I have a deskjet that i need to have repaired.
    Tech: We make several deskjets ma'am, do you know what model yours is?
    Customer: It's a Hewlett-Packard!
    Tech: Yes, I know... umm, could you tell me if your deskjet is coloro or black and white?
    Customer: Well.... it's beige.
 
 
 
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