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Depression after break-up with girlfriend of 2 months

I met my now ex-girlfriend 4 months ago and we started speaking to each other quite alot and met up a few times and started getting quite close to one another. She didn't want to rush into things which was fine by me as I wanted the relationship to last but we made it 'official' about 2 months ago. Everything seemed brilliant until one day we were speaking on MSN and she was teasing me/winding me up (which she used to do alot but in a jokey way) and I said something like Oh ******* you're so difficult sometimes! And she then got really upset by this and was in a big mood with me for a bit so I apologised and everything seemed to be ok. Anyway we continued to keep having these little tiffs until last week when we really started to argue alot. The problem was that I was starting to get paranoid about her as she was always telling me about how her ex's loved her but she had made plans to go and see them because she still liked them as friends. She also spoke to alot of guys from college alot and she would regularly tell them she loved them when posting on their profiles on Bebo and the like, which also bothered me a bit. The final straw came on Sunday though when she told me about her night out previously on the Friday and she said there were loads of guys there and she said basically they were hot. I said riight cool sort of thing and jokingly asked 'hotter than me?', expecting her to say no of course not etc. but she said i'm not gonna lie to you but yes they were'. I then got really upset by this and we had a big argument about it and we split up last night because she said she couldn't hack my paranoia and clinginess.

I apologise for the rambling nature of this post by the way but i now just feel absolutely devestated and I can't stop crying. I'm not really eating or sleeping either. As for the guys being hotter than me thing she seemed to be under the impression that this was a normal thing to think and she said I'm bound to think the same about other girls. While this is probably true I don't understand why she felt the need to actually say it to me. I just feel like a failure and used. Do you think I over reacted about this and was just being clingy or was I right to be upset about it? I just felt so worthless when she said that; I thought the whole point of being in a relationship was to love someobody and make them feel special, and that didn't!

Reply 1

Q_M

15

Mate, forget her. Definatly not worth it, at all.

Reply 2

claireybeary

She took it wayyy too far..i understand being jokey and making your boyf a little jealous with comments but you couldn't stick that sort of carry-on long-term in fairness! If she really cared for you and was genuine she'd change her ways...if not then she'll surely learn when she cant hold down a boyfriend for very long..All in all you did right even though it feels horrible at the moment.

Reply 3

fscksleep

D9987

I just felt so worthless when she said that

Things will get better.
Dont despair.

Reply 4

jeffrobjent

Your definately better off without her, seems like she treated you as a bit of a doormat!

Just keep active dude, go out with your friends and start meeting new people etc, nothing has to come of it but it'll take your mind of her.

:smile:

Reply 5

username47781

20

There are much better girls than her out there, she went way too far. I would personally forget her and go out and enjoy yourself.

Reply 6

D9987

OP

Well she's already had a string of relationships that had lasted from a week to about a month and i'm the longest guy she's ever been out with. I don't think she ever set out to be deliberately horrible to me I just think she's naive and was probably too young for me. We got on really well when were actually together and could talk things through properly but it was just when speaking on msn and texting that things seemed to break down and I couldn't get to see her very often anyway cos she was so busy with college work and her job and stuff. I dunno none of that matters now anyway, despite bein this upset I don't think I'd want her back now if she ever changed her mind.

Reply 7

Angelil

19

I can totally understand the whole feeling used/like a failure thing. People might say you shouldn't be so depressed as it was such a short relationship, but I can see where you're coming from. A guy dumped me after a WEEK during my first couple of months at uni - he claimed he was too busy as a third year but it was pretty clear that he wanted sex and that as soon as he realised he wasn't going to get it, he cleared off. I was devastated as it was the first interest any guy had ever shown in me and I felt that I wasn't given the chance to prove myself. Took me a month to get over something that lasted a week :redface:

As I understand it, you're not sooo upset about the relationship being over as much as how **** she made you feel. And no matter how long or short the relationship, that sounds pretty normal to me. You'll find someone better one day.

Reply 8

--

3

Oh man up, for christs' sake. You broke up because she refused to massage your ego and say you were hotter than any of the other guys? And now you're devastated and crying? You acted like a bit of a tit, learn from it and move on. Clingyness and paranoia is about as attractive as AIDS.

Reply 9

D9987

OP

i appreciate your criticism but there were lots of other little things she did that bothered me like she would hardly speak to me on msn and she had a go at me for texting her too much one day and then when i didnt really text her very much she had a go at me for not textin her back. I just never really knew where i stood with her and she just seemed to be constantly picking faults with me. But yeh I need to move on, she just wasn't the right girl for me I guess.

Reply 10

pumpkin7

13

2 months? oh mate, things will only get worse.. lol.

nah, seriously, she took it too far and it's not worth being upset over.

Reply 11

suicidal_dream

1

dude seriously, from this you dont sound clingy... maybe a little paranoid but from my experience of girls like her, they often give you reason to be paranoid!

you're much better off without her, she's obviously not mature enough to be in a proper long-lasting relationship!

Depression after break-up with girlfriend of 2 months

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