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Is It out of order??

2

If your a girl in a relationship and you hug other guys..not constantly. Albeit in a friendly way. Also if you go places alone together? Nothing major. Just into town for lunch for an hour or so and stuff.

It's just I know full well that if my boyfriend was hugging other girls and going off somewhere with them I would be annoyed. Do guys feel the same?

I just consider girls are generally more touchy feely anyway so a lot of what we do means nothing? I don't know

Do you understand where I'm coming from?

Opinions please

Thanks

Reply 1

9mm

12

Probably the same as you feel.

edit: unless of course if you know that you can trust your bf/gf

Reply 2

sarcasticallysincere

It depends on how trusting he is of you - if he already feels insecure or anything then he may interpret signs in the wrong way. Everyone is different and will act in different ways to provocation

Reply 3

devils_nose

10

If you mean just hugging guy friends and going shopping etc (ie things you would do with girl friends without thinking about it) then no, it's not out of order.

Reply 4

generalebriety

16

It's out of order to be a hypocrite, yes. It's not out of order to hug people as long as they know (and you know) that that's all it is, a friendly hug; it's not out of order for you or your boyfriend to do that.

Reply 5

Ataloss

13

Surely most people are happy that their partners have close friends, whether they be of the same sex or the opposite sex. Part of close friendship in some circles includes hugging on seeing them and certainly going for drinks/dinner etc...

I see nothing wrong with that at all - it is very positive and I could not be with anybody who found suspicion in that. That is why I am surprised you would not be happy if your boyfriend was doing that!

Reply 6

Snoofles

2

I definately wouldnt consider it to be a big deal if I hugged/spent time with other guys, and I'm in a relationship. I have a lot of close friends who are guys and I hug them and whatever, but that doesnt mean I want to be more than friends or anything - they're just like my girl friends as far as I'm concerned. I think most guys wouldn't read into it too much, unless they're super insecure.

Reply 7

*Tears and Butterflies*

OP

2

devils_nose

If you mean just hugging guy friends and going shopping etc (ie things you would do with girl friends without thinking about it) then no, it's not out of order.

Yeah it's like that...except the guy has told me he really liked me twice now. A fair few months apart each time. My Boyf knows he might still have feelings for me but I've also said it wouldn't happen, hence why i have turned him down twice.

Reply 8

*Tears and Butterflies*

OP

2

Ataloss

Surely most people are happy that their partners have close friends, whether they be of the same sex or the opposite sex. Part of close friendship in some circles includes hugging on seeing them and certainly going for drinks/dinner etc...

I see nothing wrong with that at all - it is very positive and I could not be with anybody who found suspicion in that. That is why I am surprised you would not be happy if your boyfriend was doing that!

I guess it just depends who and I'm thinking about it from the point of view of someone who i know likes my Boyfriend.

Reply 9

devils_nose

10

I see, well I suppose your boyfriend might be a bit twitchy if he knows this mate of yours has designs on you. I have to say I don't think its very fair of this guy to declare feelings for you a second time having already been knocked back and knowing full well about your relationship.. why make life more uncomfortable? Anyway, I still think its not out of order to spend time with him.. I tend to get creeped out by those sort of declarations myself though.

Reply 10

dh00001

16

if its just a friendly hug then yea why not. i do get annoyed when im left standing whilst they hug someone else and get no regonition after :s-smilie:

that might not make sense

Reply 11

username47781

20

Nothing wrong with a friendly hug to another guy. However if you would hate it if your boyfriend just hugged a girl he was friends with, wouldn't that be a bit hypocrictical?

Reply 12

Dream_Catcher

1

I always hug my guy friends to greet them. It's normal thign to do lol. And also if they've travelled a great distance to see me and are on their way home I gave them a kiss on the cheek. My boyfriend doesn't mind as he knows I'm just naturally nice. And tend to get on generally better with guys. Although saying that I wouldn't be happy if a random girl just hugged my boyfriend they'd have to be friends...

Reply 13

Poica

14

*Tears and Butterflies*

Yeah it's like that...except the guy has told me he really liked me twice now. A fair few months apart each time. My Boyf knows he might still have feelings for me but I've also said it wouldn't happen, hence why i have turned him down twice.

That's just leading him on. Don't stop hugging this friend for the boyfriend's sake, do it for the friend's sake! Hugging him and going out to dinner with him is only sending him mixed signals.

Reply 14

CheesyBeans

1

I dont go around hugging other guys but I do have two male friends that I go out with alone. I have lived with them for two years, my boyfriend has lived with them for one, and so we're quite good mates rather than them being lads I see occassionally. One of them is gay and one of them is in a relationship and plus my boyfriend is friends with them and so he knows not to worry if I go to the pub or shopping with one of them. Also I live with 6 guys, including my boyfriend, so my boyfriend would end up screwed up in the head if he got funny about me even talking to boys!

Reply 15

Profesh

20

*Tears and Butterflies*

If your a girl in a relationship and you hug other guys..not constantly. Albeit in a friendly way. Also if you go places alone together? Nothing major. Just into town for lunch for an hour or so and stuff.

It's just I know full well that if my boyfriend was hugging other girls and going off somewhere with them I would be annoyed. Do guys feel the same?

I just consider girls are generally more touchy feely anyway so a lot of what we do means nothing? I don't know

Do you understand where I'm coming from?

Opinions please

Thanks

Why?

I'm not stupid enough to embark on a relationship with someone that I'm incapable of trusting, so of course not.

Reply 16

*Tears and Butterflies*

OP

2

If i new that they liked him....like he knows this guy likes me. Not if they were just good friends. i don't know. I think i'm just being paranoid and tryig to see things in a negative light. Its not like i hate him talking to girls or anything. He's going to Woucster to stay with a mate (girl) he hasn't seen for a while for a weekend. That doesn't bother me. I think some people get what I mean.

Reply 17

*Tears and Butterflies*

OP

2

Profesh

Why?

I'm not stupid enough to embark on a relationship with someone that I'm incapable of trusting, so of course not.

Its not a trust issue

Reply 18

Tyler Durden

17

*Tears and Butterflies*

Its not a trust issue

Clearly... :rolleyes:

Reply 19

Kittennffc

15

If it isn't a trust issue, then why would it bother you? Surely if you trusted him you know nothing would happen between your boyfriend and another girl. You obviously don't trust him enough to be in the company of other girls without you being there.

Is It out of order??

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