Can't Deal With This Any More

Hi,

I'm stressed out. My main problem? I'm too tied in.

Some of my best friends, and my girlfriend hve had very traumatic experiences over the past few months, and things which I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I, being a friend, have tried to be there, wholly, for all of them. This, along with school, has meant that I along with my own problems (which might pale in comparison to theirs) have been brought to my knees. I'm tied into helping everyone, being there for them, being their rock, that I fear I might not be able to sustain myself for much longer.

How can I rectify this? Please.

Reply 1

dh00001

it sounds bad but be more selfish. sort your own problems first. you cant be everyones post, you need someone to lean on too from time to time.

Reply 2

username47781

Agreed, you can't take on everyone's problems. You have your own to deal with first.

Reply 3

CheesyBeans

dh00001

it sounds bad but be more selfish. sort your own problems first. you cant be everyones post, you need someone to lean on too from time to time.

I agree with this. I was literally the only person my friend could confide in when she first split with her husband and so I became quite involved in it. My friend was severely depressed and I was the only one she could talk to. I remember plenty of last minute meet ups and being on the phone for hours at 2 in the morning. I had a few problems of my own at that time and everything just got really bad. I found myself emotionally involved with my friends problems and it just caused me to become 'more' depressed.

Obviously you want to help your friends but they should understand that if you have problems of your own then they shouldnt rely on you for support.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Don't get me wrong, I love being there for people, it makes me feel good about myself. But I took on too much, and now I'm in too deep in everyone elses problems to sort out my own ones. There is no "I Quit" button. I can't abandon my friends.

In hindsight, I really really appreciate your advice, but I don't know how to pull out now that I'm in. They're all relying on me wholly and its too much.

Reply 5

CheesyBeans

You arnt abandoning them though. Just explain that you have problems of your own and you need some support too. If they are good friends then they will understand.