anxiety, doctors, and parents!

i went to the doctors about problems im having with anxiety and i have problems saying what i mean sometimes. i worry about a lot of things.. but at the moment its school. anyway, he suggests i talk to my parents about it, because theyd like to know, but i really, really cant tell my parents im stressed.
i said i would though.
thing is, i feel that after the way things have been handled before by them (ive had similar problems in the past..) i cant really communicate with them because i find i get blamed for problems, they end up taking control over my life, and without going into too much detail i messed up their marriage due to an ED a while ago.

one of the options i have is going back to see a child and adolescent psychiatrist, although i would NOT go with my parents. i believe this made my problems a couple of years ago a lot worse really.
other option is medication... id prefer this really. he said something about going through the above route first though due to the fact im under 18... im not really sure what the law is about that and consent...
does anyone have any experience with this?
im 17.

anyway, i cant talk to my parents, so what should i say to the dr so he would believe me? how can i convince him it would be best to not get them involved?!
i have to go for a follow up appt. next week, after ive "spoken to my parents".
i really dont know why people have such a problem with the fact im keeping it secret from them..

any advice would be really appreciated, thanks! :frown:

Reply 1

Meep!

9

I don't think (I'm not sure, though) that the doctor can actually tell them if you don't want them to know. I'm pretty sure it's illegal.

Reply 2

Ink

12

First of all, you are blaming yourself for things I'm 99% sure are not your fault. Your parent's marriage did *not* get messed up because of your ED! Perhaps the fact that you were going through something exacerbated a problem they already had (disagreements about how to raise you, communication problems, etc) but there is no way a healthy marriage would have been "messed up" by their daughter developing a psychological issue! If they can't deal with little bumps along the way with a child they are raising, there are deeper issues that you have no control over.

Secondly, how close to 18 are you, and how bad is the anxiety?
I'm pretty sure it is illegal for them to tell your parents details about what you have said to them, but when it comes to a minor being issued medication, they might have to check with parents. And I'm not sure how the health insurance system works here, but when you are under 18, isn't your insurance technically bound to your parents? In The States, it's like that, so they would need to be notified about any medications I was receiving, simply on the basis of doctors trips, insurance bills, and actually obtaining the medication.

Further, a lot of doctors really don't give much credence to the idea of privacy for minors! When I was under 18, I had way too many experiences with doctors and therapists betraying my trust. You agree to give them an inch, and next thing you know, 5 people have been notified of your "problem" in detail. Happened too many times before I was 18. Maybe you should discuss your concerns about your privacy with the doctor in question and see what he says. Just tell him your parents have reacted badly to psychological issues you've had in the past, might not buy into the "anxiety mumbo-jumbo" and you'd prefer for them not to be involved. See what he says.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Ink

First of all, you are blaming yourself for things I'm 99% sure are not your fault. Your parent's marriage did *not* get messed up because of your ED! Perhaps the fact that you were going through something exacerbated a problem they already had (disagreements about how to raise you, communication problems, etc) but there is no way a healthy marriage would have been "messed up" by their daughter developing a psychological issue! If they can't deal with little bumps along the way with a child they are raising, there are deeper issues that you have no control over.

Secondly, how close to 18 are you, and how bad is the anxiety?
I'm pretty sure it is illegal for them to tell your parents details about what you have said to them, but when it comes to a minor being issued medication, they might have to check with parents. And I'm not sure how the health insurance system works here, but when you are under 18, isn't your insurance technically bound to your parents? In The States, it's like that, so they would need to be notified about any medications I was receiving, simply on the basis of doctors trips, insurance bills, and actually obtaining the medication.

Further, a lot of doctors really don't give much credence to the idea of privacy for minors! When I was under 18, I had way too many experiences with doctors and therapists betraying my trust. You agree to give them an inch, and next thing you know, 5 people have been notified of your "problem" in detail. Happened too many times before I was 18. Maybe you should discuss your concerns about your privacy with the doctor in question and see what he says. Just tell him your parents have reacted badly to psychological issues you've had in the past, might not buy into the "anxiety mumbo-jumbo" and you'd prefer for them not to be involved. See what he says.

i could do that, although ive tried to explain already its difficult to talk to my parents. he sort of just went on to say that "a problem shared is a problem halved..." yknow? he just sent me on my way to talk to them and id feel bad going back there if i havent at least tried, in case he refuses to treat me or something.

most of all i feel like im to blame. i think my parents make me feel like this moreso.. really.. and when i stopped telling them about problems i was having i got a lot better. i stopped going to the child and adolescent psychiatrist and i actually OVERCOME my ED and stopped getting panic attacks. i think my case is pretty rare; i dont really benefit from talking to people about things like this when my parents get involved.

id say my anxiety is pretty moderate; i still go to college although i miss lessons some days. it affects my concentration and im not doing that well in college at the moment really. i have a few problems sleeping and i get panic attacks when im on my own. i dont go out as much as id like to. i just worry about... everything really. im 18 in may so im not really sure if i should go back and try in a few months? and i have no idea about medication! anything would be better than having to tell my parents really. they also will tell other people, and it stresses me out more to know that half the world know about my problems really!

thanks for your help though! i really appreciate it

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Meep!

I don't think (I'm not sure, though) that the doctor can actually tell them if you don't want them to know. I'm pretty sure it's illegal.

yeah, i think they only do it if they think you risk harming yourself/others.

Reply 5

Meep!

9

Ink

Secondly, how close to 18 are you, and how bad is the anxiety?
I'm pretty sure it is illegal for them to tell your parents details about what you have said to them, but when it comes to a minor being issued medication, they might have to check with parents. And I'm not sure how the health insurance system works here, but when you are under 18, isn't your insurance technically bound to your parents? In The States, it's like that, so they would need to be notified about any medications I was receiving, simply on the basis of doctors trips, insurance bills, and actually obtaining the medication.

My parents never got told about any medication I was put on when I was 16/17. I don't think it's normal to do that in the UK. Anyway, it's a totally different healthcare system here to the US. We have the NHS, and most people use that rather than private doctors. You don't get billed for a trip to the doctor.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Meep!

My parents never got told about any medication I was put on when I was 16/17. I don't think it's normal to do that in the UK. Anyway, it's a totally different healthcare system here to the US. We have the NHS, and most people use that rather than private doctors. You don't get billed for a trip to the doctor.

i dont know if my doctor will put me on medication.
if you dont mind me asking, why did you get put on medication and how did you stop your parents from finding out?

Reply 7

sarcasticallysincere

Go here http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Publicationsandstatistics/Publications/PublicationsPolicyAndGuidance/DH_4069253

there is a full department of Health document which talks about confidentiality and patients right to privacy etc

Reply 8

Meep!

9

Anonymous

i dont know if my doctor will put me on medication.
if you dont mind me asking, why did you get put on medication and how did you stop your parents from finding out?

I had cystitis-repeatedly, sounds silly but I didn't want to tell my parents. I also went on the pill.

The way I stopped them from knowing was simply NOT telling them. The doctor will not tell your parents.

anxiety, doctors, and parents!

Related discussions

Articles for you