Fear of Penetration

Please keep anon or delete, Sorry if this is a bit graphic :s-smilie:

In a nutshell, I have a fear of things going into my vagina :s-smilie:

I dont think is normal at all. Im 21 and still a virgin, and nothing has ever been up there, I've never used a tampon as the idea freaks me out and I'd think I'd be the type of person that would go into that shock thing. Ive never experimented with putting my fingers up there or anything as it unnerves me. I dont know what it is, I know i dont like the thought of being able to feel whats inside?
My problem is that that its stopped me being able to get close to males, I told my boyfriend that I'm untouched down there and he was very shocked. He already knew I hadnt had sex but the thought that I hadnt done it myself shocked him. And now I feel really stupid, I tried to do it tonight but I just cant get up the nerve, I even turned myself on first thinking id feel more into it if i was quite wet? But it didnt work, and i chickened out. I cant even get close. I'm perfectly comfortable with anything outside the inner lips, i just havent ever gone in between.

I dont really know what im asking, maybe to see if anyone has the same problem? And any advice on maybe relaxing so it feels comfortable? I dont know, its so frustrating. I dont know what to do and I havent been able to talk to anyone about it.

Thanks.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Oh my gosh, I'm in exactly the same boat as you!

I've even had counselling for it, whilst I thought it was vaginismus, but I think it was jst me worrying about my awkwardness (being a virgin at 20) and so wouldn't know what to do.

I worked up to it slowly, such as inserting a finger to a point (can't get it all the way in yet), got a vibrator in quite far, and more recently put a tampon in. However, the last experience was horrible as my muscles kept clenching and holding the tampon in when i tugged on the string. Had to spent an agonising half hour in the shower pushing it out as if I was giving birth to it! Urgh!

Lube is your friend for this: I haven't gotten objects in without it, unless I'm really aroused. Good luck!

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

In a nutshell, I have a fear of things going into my vagina :s-smilie:

I dont think is normal at all. Im 21 and still a virgin, and nothing has ever been up there, I've never used a tampon as the idea freaks me out

... I'm perfectly comfortable with anything outside the inner lips, i just havent ever gone in between.

(Please leave anon, this is personal)

You know what, I'm 20 and I'm similar - except for sex. I STILL can't use tampons (freaks me out - the fact there's a bit of string dangling out of you just doesn't look/feel right!), I don't use sex toys, I never masturbate internally.

However, when my boyfriend is with me I feel fine about it. It really doesn't appeal to me to ever 'insert' anything myself, but I do enjoy the feeling of penetrative sex, and g-spot stimulation.
You know, when someone else does it.

Don't have a fear of it! Losing your virginity might hurt a bit, I can understand why you might be scared of hymen-related issues, but after that it's worth it. Don't feel pressure to do it yourself first! To be honest there's no need to! If you're with someone there's every chance they'll make you feel comfortable and turned on, and if you're up to stuff together they might do it without you even realising at first, and then you'll find it's fine!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Thank you loads :smile:

Both bits of advice are great.

I'll definitely try loosening up with someone else like #3 said, a couple of lads have tried before but the first time i just grabbed their hand and pulled it away, second I just said no, they were both fine with it anyways which is good.

As for the tampon issue, I really dont think I'll ever be comfortable with wearing one, I'd rather the stuff got out of me rather than being soaked up inside and staying there for hours (ergh), and it doesnt really bother me that much having to use sanitary towels (each to their own i suppose)!

Also I think I will give the lube a try #2!

Thanks again :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #4

I tried using tampons a couple of times and both times just felt so uncomfortable for me. I prefer sanitary towels.

Anyway, for a long time I never masturbated, you know, internally. Past the outer lips. One day, however, I just sort of... did it. Then tried it with a sex toy and enjoyed it.

I guess it just takes a certain catalyst to get you to try it - that could possibly getting so horny you can't not do it? Heh.

To back up what other people have said, another person and lube should help a lot. :smile:

Reply 5

Mad5am

Wow. Women have it tough.

What you describe here plus mensturation, childbirth and menopause. All I can say is that I am really glad to be a boy.

OP, I'm being sincere here when I say thankyou for giving me an insight into what women go through. I'm just taken aback.

Reply 6

mikeski

Ach I wouldn't worry, my boyfriend is scared of penetration too :p:

No seriously though, you should talk to someone about it. Perhaps a doctor? Now being sarcastic, but they are confidential and you can tell them anything!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Mad5am

hehe, its ok :smile:

tho i wouldnt go so far as to do the whole 'aww women have it so bad, you boys dont know how lucky you are' etc as I'm not one so i can never truly know. I'm sure you have it tough in other areas (for example usually being the ones to ask a someone out, do marriage proposals, being kicked in the balls etc)

mikeski

Ach I wouldn't worry, my boyfriend is scared of penetration too :p:

No seriously though, you should talk to someone about it. Perhaps a doctor? Now being sarcastic, but they are confidential and you can tell them anything!

I think I'll only ever go to my doctor about it if it actually interferes with doing things I want to, like when I have sex and I start panicking or something. I'm just hoping when it comes to it, it'll just come naturally.

Reply 8

Tiaa66

Its the same with me. Except for sex, I'm very scared of inserting something there. I was suffering from white bleeding and I went to the doctor. He gave me a tablet to insert there but I couldn't do that. I suffered from genital wart and I asked the doctor to give me anesthesia's injection so that I wouldn't feel it and all those warts were removed when I was unconscious. I'm a married woman and we don't own a child. What I fear is labor pain. I heard that doctor insert their fingers into the vagina during no they weekly or any regular follow ups as well. Ahhh. I badly want a child but this nervousness is pulling me backwards. I would prefer c-section but still before delivery doctors put their hands inside. Ahhh I'm afraid.

Reply 9

cheerIeader

I want it given to me SO hard and rough, hunny.

Reply 10

Queen_of_black

OmG finally someone with the exact same problem with me

Reply 11

Haven jackson

Omg I am sooo glad I’m not the only one ...so bassivally I have a fear of ANYTHING pentrating my vagina I have had. Tests infection in the past and was told by my doctor to use monistat well it came with a tiny tube that I was supposed to insert fully into my vagina I have never been touched even by myself I’m 16 and terrified I get easily discourage anytime I try touching myself of inserting something up there and tense up...family members have tried to help and everything it’s just soo scary to me I really need help getting passed this feeling though..any tips on how ??