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Seriously depressed now

I hate resorting to tsr for this, but nonetheless i have no one else to turn to. For the past year I've been battling with what I think is depression. Throughout my first year at uni I kept saying I just had to get used to uni, but things seem to have taken a turn for the worse.

Over the summer I was quite ill with glandular, and became particularly depressed as I had no job, no money, I coulnd't see my boyfriend for 8 weeks, and I've now lost every single friend I had back home. So I thought I'd be happier when I came back to uni.

That wasn't the way to be it seems. I've only just found a job (I should be grateful I know), I had problems with my friend competing with me for my boyfriend's attention, I keep getting headaches, I even had what I think was a panic attack last week.

And yet it still keeps getting even worse. I got my essay back a few days ago, and I failed it. I went to the seminar leader so he could talk me through it. But he was so pompous and idiotic with me, asking me if I'm dyslexic. I know I'm not. fact. He's totally shattered my confidence for the subject I'm doing, and I keep having thoughts about just dropping out of uni altogether. The only thing keepipng me here is the fact that there's nothing I want to actually do. I just don't want to be me.

I am seeing a counsellor, and my parents do know I'm having a patch of bad luck, and maybe it is just that. But I'm so fed up with being miserable all the time. I want to be happy. I also have to add that I have been to the doctor about how I feel, because of the recurrent headaches; hence why I'm seeing a counsellor..of which is making no difference to me :frown:

I even went to the nurse the other day, thinking that changing the pill I'm on would help. I just don't know what to do. I know second year is supposed to be harder but its so stupidly hard to cope with...for god's sake, I've even been locked out my house from 2pm til about midnight because I absent mindedly locked my key in my room!

Please, someone, give me some guidance :frown:

Reply 1

SoundDevastation

13

just like i was a week ago! sounds to me like you need a holiday... drop everything and go and spend a week with your parents. a doctors note should cover any deadlines and it'll do you good!

otherwise.. dropping out is an option, your only in second year and youve got a job to go into. if you think it'll give the chance to recover it'll be worth it, and you can always go back to uni.

If you dont want to drop out then maybe do what ive done... convince uni to give you a year off.. to restart second year next year. you need time to cool off, get your head together and have a think about what you really want to do.

obviously if you are suffering from depression then neither making decisions or thinking about what you 'want' are easy.. maybe talk to your doctor and/or personal tutor.. say youre finding it hard to cope, and ask them what they would recommend.

TSR is the perfect place to turn!

Reply 2

tinypony

Dropping out is NOT a good idea unless you have a specific plan (ie. pursue a childhood dream) and know how you will finance your life from this point onwards.
Please don't encourage people to drop out, otherwise your post will be reported.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks for your reply :smile:

to be honest i don't think i could drop out, i'd be giving too much up, i just don't realise it. And the job I have, well its only asda :p:

ah the confusions of the young mind! :redface:

Reply 4

SoundDevastation

13

i wasnt encouraging dropping out.. obviously it would be a real shame to waste your year at uni and potential degree!

uni gets too much for some people though.. even if they really want to do their degree. Your health is more important than your degree though, so if you need time out - take it!

Reply 5

ARobinson6174

7

I find it's always good to have someone you know you can rely on - this could well be your boyfriend. If your relationship with him isn't that close yet, perhaps it's time to do something about it if you need someone to be there for you (although careful you don't come on too strong and scare him off!). Alternatively, a reliable best friend can be a real lifesaver when you're feeling rough. You may not have a solid best friend as such but if that's the case then, hell, you're in university! What better time to make a new best friend?

Also, don't drop out of uni - you'll inevitably regret it later, and having messed up one or two essays isn't the end of the world - I know guys at Cambridge who have done much the same thing, and if even they can do it there's no reason you should think you're no good at your subject - things will pick up, just keep up the hard work and all that jazz! You can still come out with a great degree, and it'll be too useful for you in later life for it to be worth you dropping out now.

You have a job now, and so the money will surely follow. If worst comes to worst you could try and get hold of antidepressants from your doc, although personally I think it's a pretty bad idea. Just remember that there's always someone else in the same situation as you, so you're not alone. There will always be someone who's gone through similar issues to you, and chances are three quarters of these people are probably on TSR, so you shouldn't feel bad turning to it :smile:

If you ever need a chat or anything feel free to give me a PM or drop me a line in this thread if you wanna remain anonymous. Best of luck, and try to focus on the good things in your life - being pessimistic never helps if you think you can avoid it!

Ben

Reply 6

Profesh

20

Siddhartha

Dropping out is NOT a good idea unless you have a specific plan (ie. pursue a childhood dream) and know how you will finance your life from this point onwards.
Please don't encourage people to drop out, otherwise your post will be reported.

Please don't report behaviour that doesn't actually contravene the forum rules; it only wastes moderators' time.

Reply 7

tinypony

Profesh

I'm fairly certain that that is *******s.

And you are mr. omniscient moderator? :rolleyes:

Reply 8

Profesh

20

Siddhartha

And you are mr. omniscient moderator? :rolleyes:

No; I'm Mr. Literate. (A bosom-acquaintance of Mr. Attention-To-Detail.)

Reply 9

InnocentEyes

10

Siddhartha

Dropping out is NOT a good idea unless you have a specific plan (ie. pursue a childhood dream) and know how you will finance your life from this point onwards.
Please don't encourage people to drop out, otherwise your post will be reported.

Surely you're talking about just dropping out cause the work is too much or you're unsure about how much you like uni? If the OP genuinely suffers from depression taking a year off might be just what she needs to get her life back on track.

Reply 10

*Joanna*

12

Siddhartha

Dropping out is NOT a good idea unless you have a specific plan (ie. pursue a childhood dream) and know how you will finance your life from this point onwards.
Please don't encourage people to drop out, otherwise your post will be reported.

Quite clearly, you have never been in such a situation yourself. If the OP is depressed, from my experience she needs to at least go home for a week and have some TLC. Sometimes dropping out or coming back to restart the next year is a good option- what is the point of staying at uni when you are in no state of mind to take full advantage of it? You might be better off going home, sorting out the issues causing depression, where you are surrounded by you family and hopefully have their support, and going back to it with a fresh head.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

I went home for 5 days a few weeks ago, thinknig it would do me some good. It was nice being home in a way, because I spend so much time worrying about my little sister. But then when Im at home I'm faced with the fact that all my ex-friends are constantly on my back, acting as if they haven't treated me like crap for so many years. They don't accept that I've moved on and don't want them in my life anymore. :frown:

Reply 12

Notepadmed

OP -

was you i have hot drink of chocolate and get someone to wrap their arms around your thus should make you feel a lot better.....

Reply 13

hannah_dru

2

*Joanna*

Quite clearly, you have never been in such a situation yourself. If the OP is depressed, from my experience she needs to at least go home for a week and have some TLC. Sometimes dropping out or coming back to restart the next year is a good option- what is the point of staying at uni when you are in no state of mind to take full advantage of it? You might be better off going home, sorting out the issues causing depression, where you are surrounded by you family and hopefully have their support, and going back to it with a fresh head.

Sometimes it works the other way- I know that if I'd dropped out of my A Levels I would have become even more depressed as I didn't have a job or anything.

Reply 14

*Joanna*

12

hannah_dru

Sometimes it works the other way- I know that if I'd dropped out of my A Levels I would have become even more depressed as I didn't have a job or anything.

Fair enough. :smile:

I was just very annoyed at the way the other person put it, as if it was clear cut black and white, dropping out is baaaaad and no inbetween.

Reply 15

Magickal_Faerie

1

Anonymous

I went home for 5 days a few weeks ago, thinknig it would do me some good. It was nice being home in a way, because I spend so much time worrying about my little sister. But then when Im at home I'm faced with the fact that all my ex-friends are constantly on my back, acting as if they haven't treated me like crap for so many years. They don't accept that I've moved on and don't want them in my life anymore. :frown:

if you just ignore the friends, they will drop away. I had the same problem this summer. is there anyway you can go home without them getting to know? how old is your sister? maybe she could come and stay with you for the weekend? if youre close to your parents, then talk to them about it and see what they say. im sure it hasnt escaped their notice. sorry im not of more help.

Seriously depressed now

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