Depression and the NHS

I have been depressed for some yeears now but up til recently I've always coped. However just lately it is beginning to make me increasingly dysfunctional. by the end of a working day (9-5) and in the mornings, sometimes in the evenings too, I just feel at times physically ill with depression. While it can be kept at bay with exercise, seeing people etc I always seem to snap back into a default sense of despair. I have this week effectively lost a friend, in that she told me she doesn't want to see me anymore. Basically (I'm male) i fancied her and she responded to this by laughing at me, saying I was gay. I put up with this for awhile and even made jokes abt it, but I told her I ultimately found it offensive and she didn't stop. I got madder and madder about her insensitivity, and eventually it all blew up last night. Not having her has been a wake up call. I was relying on her friendship and acceptance of me for my ow happiness, which was not healthy. I have other friends I can call upon, but again, I over rely on them. i don't have any inner happiness.
I just feel traped. I am 23, a virgin, , live at home, graduated, doing a job well within my capabilities and can't see a way forward from it, and I just feel trapped and my parents don't help. They hate each other and create a rubbish atmosphere all the time, and then my mum gets all angry wwhenever I mention moving out.

I've always felt trapped, even at uni. I hate this. I amt hinking today of finally going to the doctors about this,it can't be right. But what do I say? And what am I gonna get? Antidepressants? Counselling? Nothing?

Reply 1

stacey4415

2

Doctors, whcih may lead to anti-depressants

& possibly counselling, although i was too scared to go

But definately go to the doctors, i was depressed for a year, and didn't go towards the end, but it definately helps

AND, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin!!

But there is not much you can do about your parents, my parents have argued and fought all my life.

Good luck!!

Reply 2

xXMessedUpXx

15

My expereinces of going to the doctor have alwasy lead to counselling. Which for me hasn't worked-however i'm a cynical so-and-so and it was more down to not getting on with my counsellers etc

As far as the NHS goes your initial appointment will consist of you telling the doc why you feel like this, and they will porobably ask you questions to determine how serious it is. Oh and by the way its possible to make a double appointment with a doctor-this may help as you wont feel you have to rush.

If you need anti-depressents then i imagine the doc will prescribe them as nesscary.

As far as counselling goes there may be a limit of how many sessions you can have on the NHS and there may be a bit of a wait.

Reply 3

Mad5am

I went to the doctors a few days ago coz I was feeling depressed and I've felt like this for quite a while. What you said about feeling trapped is similar to my feeelings.

Anyway. Beforehand, I was given a sheet and I had to score a list of statements describing symptoms of depression.

Strongly accurate, accurate, that kind of thing of scoring.

My doctor then just talked to me a few minutes asked a couple of questions. He then referred me to a nurse practitioner.

I was half-expecting to be given anti-depressants but I suppose it doesn't work like that.

If you think you need to go then you probably do.

It may not help but if you're feeling really down what do you have to lose by going to your GP?

Reply 4

Renal

17

Psych services in the NHS are pretty ****, mainly because services have been reduced or so ****ed up by 'health care unprofessionals'.

However, your GP is your first port of call, ask them to be honest and open about what services are available to you and ask their opinion - most will happily talk to you about it.

Reply 5

hannah_dru

2

They aren't great I agree. The best I got from them were pills and that was it. I was rejected from a psychiatrist on the basis that "I wasn't depressed enough." even after I'd been suicidal several times and had a nervous breakdown. Basically, they can't be bothered to help everyone cos it costs too much.

I got free counselling somewhere else which was non NHS. Much better. The NHS tend to treat you like a number than a person.

Reply 6

Mad5am

hannah_dru

They aren't great I agree. The best I got from them were pills and that was it. I was rejected from a psychiatrist on the basis that "I wasn't depressed enough." even after I'd been suicidal several times and had a nervous breakdown. Basically, they can't be bothered to help everyone cos it costs too much.

I got free counselling somewhere else which was non NHS. Much better. The NHS tend to treat you like a number than a person.

Where? Did you use counselling at Uni or someplace else?

I'm seeing a counsellor at Uni but the sessions aren't frquent enough so I went to my GP who just referred me to a nurse practitioner who was supposed to call me to book an appointment but hasn't.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

hannah_dru

They aren't great I agree. The best I got from them were pills and that was it. I was rejected from a psychiatrist on the basis that "I wasn't depressed enough." even after I'd been suicidal several times and had a nervous breakdown. Basically, they can't be bothered to help everyone cos it costs too much.

Agreed. They seem to be waiting for people to kill themselves as it's cheaper than treating them.

Anti-depressant after anti-depressant after anti-depressant...

Reply 8

hannah_dru

2

Excuse the late replies!

Mad5am- There's a health centre in my town which is specifically for teenagers. They were the ones who helped me overcome the problems rather than my doctor. I haven't tried the uni services yet.

Anon 2- You are so right. I was on 3 different antidepressants and offered a fourth which I refused. They only did it because at the time I was 17, a few months off 18. The law didn't help either.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

hannah_dru

Anon 2- You are so right. I was on 3 different antidepressants and offered a fourth which I refused. They only did it because at the time I was 17, a few months off 18. The law didn't help either.

Same, I'm on number 3 right now and it's rubbish, I haven't slept in weeks and weeks because I'm on it and suicidal feelings are definitely increasing but still they insist to keep going.

I'm just going to turn up at the city mental health centre tomorrow and demand they do something because this is getting utterly ridiculous.

Reply 10

Cunning Linguist

3

Anonymous

I have been depressed for some yeears now but up til recently I've always coped. However just lately it is beginning to make me increasingly dysfunctional. by the end of a working day (9-5) and in the mornings, sometimes in the evenings too, I just feel at times physically ill with depression. While it can be kept at bay with exercise, seeing people etc I always seem to snap back into a default sense of despair. I have this week effectively lost a friend, in that she told me she doesn't want to see me anymore. Basically (I'm male) i fancied her and she responded to this by laughing at me, saying I was gay. I put up with this for awhile and even made jokes abt it, but I told her I ultimately found it offensive and she didn't stop. I got madder and madder about her insensitivity, and eventually it all blew up last night. Not having her has been a wake up call. I was relying on her friendship and acceptance of me for my ow happiness, which was not healthy. I have other friends I can call upon, but again, I over rely on them. i don't have any inner happiness.
I just feel traped. I am 23, a virgin, , live at home, graduated, doing a job well within my capabilities and can't see a way forward from it, and I just feel trapped and my parents don't help. They hate each other and create a rubbish atmosphere all the time, and then my mum gets all angry wwhenever I mention moving out.

I've always felt trapped, even at uni. I hate this. I amt hinking today of finally going to the doctors about this,it can't be right. But what do I say? And what am I gonna get? Antidepressants? Counselling? Nothing?

Having read your overall situation, I personally don't think your life is terrible.

Firstly, you had a bitch of a friend - just think you're lucky she went. You don't need "mates" like that. Forget about her.

Secondly, everyone's parents fight. I know it doesn't exactly help with your situation, but try and ignore it. What I mean is, don't let it actually affect your "depression".

Just think about what you have - a degree, a good job. At-least you're not some loser on the street with hardly any education.

I think what you need to do is, you need to find yourself a way of making some new friends.

Try and forget about your past! You've had some bad experiences but that's how we become stronger.

In my opinion, if you keep thinking you're depressed, it'll make it worse and you'll really become depressed. Try and convince yourself that your just seriously "down in the dumps", but depressed - no.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Hi I'm the OP again, just a quick update. i still haven't gone to the doctors despite them being rght next to where i work, but am still thinking about it. The girl who i rowed with has started talking to me on MSN again after I emailed her back, but she seems very cold and distant, ready to start a fight at the drop of a hat, and basically I am struggling to see anyof the qualities that made her my friend at the outset. The chemistry has gone, it's depressing to watch. I don't know why I care so much, but I do.
I really think that i've let things bumble along for too long now - the job, the friends that don't pull their weight and aren't there for me, the constant no sex situation which almost noone else my age seems to have (and, ofc, the nervousness and anxiety which stops me from trying cos i'm so scared about having to admit never doing it when the moment comes). I am a bloke - I think this makes it harder. it is less socially acceptable for a man to be this vulnerable and sensitive. I want to change things, to rip all this up, but every time i think about doing anything about it I just clam up or create problems. Even filling in job application forms has become hard. When i start writing what i've done inmy life it just seems weak and like everyone else's will be better. it does not help that my CV has more holes in it than swiss cheese.

Depression and the NHS

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