Drugs and a relationship?

Wait, have you ever done them with him as well? Maybe gave a signal that you're okay with it?

No I have never done them myself and have never given an indication that I would. I have always been pretty black and white, I don't mind people making their own decisions providing it doesn't effect me directly, however, if you're living with someone who you care about deeply and they decide to start doing those things then I do believe that it starts to effect me :/

Hmmm I wouldn't happy either but I guess talk to him about it

That's the thing, and is probably one of the things that is upsetting the most. I have spoken to him about it and I have told him that if he wanted to do anything like cocaine then I wouldn't stay with him. He was sorry that he had made me uncomfortable on the night and promised that he wasn't into those things and wouldn't do them.

Then a month or so later he just says, matter of factly, that he wants to do mushrooms and will do them...The only thing that I can think of is I didn't say that I wasn't specifically against him doing hallucenegenics; I just thought it was obvious, I said word for word 'I'm not okay with cocaine and things like that' so I presumed that he would understand that by 'things like that' I mean other things similar such as mushrooms...

It just makes me feel pretty rubbish really, he's not a stupid guy and I'm pretty sure that he knows what I meant when I said it but is just pretending that he didn't in order to not loose me straight away but still get to do what he wants...

True pal true. I suggest you bluntly state that any cocaine and more-than-occasional hallucinogenic use is dangerous as from your experience with your father and that it will remind you too much of it and that if he cares about you then he should be able to sacrifice them for your sake.

Hmmm guess if he won't stop then maybe it is time to decide if you will want to be with him

Simple answer to that is yes, of course I do. I just wish he didn't consider these things in the first place.

Not necessarily, "cocaine and things like that" can be fairly interpreted as other party drugs like mdma, speed etc.

Hallucinogenics are generally considered a class of their own in the druggie worlds...

That's just a possibility for misconception. Maybe he is just stubborn or not mature enough to give them up. Are you against letting him try a small dose of shrooms a few times and making sure he doesn't develop it into a regular habbit ?

I've been with my partner for just over a year now. A lot of our friends, well pretty much all of our friends, started experimenting with drugs throughout the last year. Everyone's allowed to make their own life choices and it doesn't bother me too much, only that I worry about them getting hurt, but other than that it's fine. I did find it a bit of a shock initially as it very quickly went from what I would consider a low end drug such as pot to things that I would consider a bit extreme (although readily available I know) such as mushrooms and cocaine.

My partner jumped straight on board with the whole pot smoking thing and to be honest I really don't mind, he's not in an immediate danger to himself, he's not nasty when he's on it and he's only had it a handful of times so it's not even a regular thing so it honestly didn't bother me.

However we were with our friends a few months ago and also with some new people and the drugs started appearing, all kinds of drugs to be honest, and some of my friends started to do them and it did make me feel quite uncomfortable to be honest. Then my boyfriend started to seem really interested in the effects of cocaine and was asking lots of questions; as if he was considering it, and I just got so stressed and confused and uncomfortable that I just left and walked home around 4 in the morning by myself. My boyfriend and one other friend turned up back at home around 6am and I think they figured something was up but I was just picked up by a friend shortly after and spent the day thinking about what was making me so upset and how to sort it out.

I eventually went back home and explained to my partner that I wasn't okay with it. I was fine with him smoking pot every now and then but I wasn't fine with cocaine or anything like that really. I have had some previous back experience with those types of drugs, my father was a heavy cocaine and hallucinogenic user, and caused some massive problems, but that's another story aha. I told him bluntly that I loved him, and cared for him but if he chose to do drugs like that it would be a me or them type of situation. I figured I would give him the choice to choose. I said that I would not do what my mother had done and stay with someone who does those things. This might sound dramatic but after my childhood, I think I'll stick by it aha. He said that he wasn't going to do anything like that and never would so I left it at that.

A few months later though he started discussing mushrooms and hallucinogenic's and just said that he wants to try them and more than likely will when the opportunity arose.

With all my exes, they were unimpressed when I was used to be high, I do get why, I was a bit slow and would get lost in the conversation, and most of the time it was through text which was more difficult and 90% of the time it used to end in arguing. I suggested one time we smoke together and that went wrong too lol. I don't understand why they were so against it, but that was due to personal preferences and circumstances on their own behalf so I guess it wasn't entirely their fault, but I didn't see what the massive deal about me smoking was. When I was in one of my first relationships my ex just didn't allow me in her house at all when I was high and got pretty emotional (I think I must have caught her on a bad day). Eventually she felt bad for me and let me knock out on her couch lol. If I was you I'd probably give him an ultimatum because that's the only way he'd probably stop. I know that's the only way I'd probably only stop for sure too, or at least reduce down to doing it on occasion.