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nervous about christmas bash

please keep anon as some of the people are on here and i dont want them to know obviously.

i'm male. i have a christmas party in a few weeks time, and i'm not looking forward to it at all. i can't get out of it either, because numerous people have asked and confirmed whether i'll be going.

now, it takes place in a massive hall, and there'll be a professional dj playing dance music. I reeally dont know how to handle these parties. i always get self-conscious, anxious, and feel uncomfortable. i'm a useless dancer, and everyone dances except me! the last party i went to me and about 1 other person were sat not dancing, not interacting, and just waiting for it to end. is there anything i can do to overcome this? i always feel self conscious of dancing and last time i just got drunk and started leaping around on the dancefloor and everyone took the piss so i dont want to do that again.

also, i dont know about 60% of the people going. and of the 40% i do know, 20% are people who i just know, i dont really talk to them. i dont want to have a **** time, i want to let go and just enjoy myself. i dont like being so self conscious, but i'd like an idea on how to dance and cope at these parties. i usually start conversations with randomers, but they dont last, they usually get pulled onto the dancefloor and starting rubbing up against other randomers, so eventually i'll go home.

ANY CONTRUCTIVE ADVICE PLEASE. this is getting on my nerves so much. what do you do at parties? how do you have a good time etc? it's a festive party too, so everyone will want to have a good time, i dont want to bring people down by being miserable, alone, not dancing, not interacting.

Reply 1

SmilerNuts

15

I'm pretty self concious when it comes to parties and dancing too so you're definitely not alone. Normally I just go and have a few drinks (not to the point where I'm paralytic, just merry) and by that point I loosen up a lot and just have fun. If you don't know the majority of the people going then you shouldn't be afraid to relax and let yourself go, they probably wont see you again anyway. And the ones you do know, well taking the piss is just human nature, it's all good hearted fun. Just makes sure you're not sitting in a corner by yourself, you'll only feel worse then. For one night only forget all your inhibitions and throw yourself right into the spirit of things :smile:

Reply 2

Bedshaped

14

Don't go.

Sit at home and stay on TSR and talk to me. This is 10x more fun then any christmas party.

OR

Go

Dance

Have 10x less fun then you could at home.

The choice Mark...Is YOURS!

Reply 3

SmilerNuts

15

Bedshaped

Don't go.

Sit at home and stay on TSR and talk to me. This is 10x more fun then any christmas party.

OR

Go

Dance

Have 10x less fun then you could at home.

The choice Mark...Is YOURS!

Mark? The guy is anon so either you're trying to be funny or you're making the rules by exposing him :s-smilie:

Reply 4

Hana_87

16

Have a few drinks and smile! :smile:

x

Reply 5

Double Agent

18

This is a great oppertunity for you to get over these feelings and have a good time. Not dancing is a safety behavior that although makes you feel safer, will really make you stand out more than if you were up dancing with everyone else. Nobody cares how you dance, just copy what other people are doing and try regardless of how uncomfortable you feel to dance and interact with people there, they will be pleased you are making the effort, afterall they made the effort to invite you. Its good you are able to start conversations with random people, you have 60% of the people going to do that with, and whilst talking instead of letting the conversation dry up why not ask them to dance or if they want a drink? Really put yourself out there, either you can go and not participate and have a pretty rubbish time or really get stuck in, and you may have an awesome time, if not hey, you tried cant do any more than that. A word about alcohol, by all means have a couple of beers before hand to losen yourself up, but dont get complelty wasted and make a tit of yourself, you will regret it. Talk to as many people as you can, introduce yourself etc, dance, have a few drinks, i am sure that if you do this you will have a good time, at least a better time that if you go and hide in a corner.

Reply 6

A Stranger in Moscow

12

No-one looks good dancing: fact.

Reply 7

SmilerNuts

15

Harriellie

No-one looks good dancing: fact.

I beg to differ :cool:

Reply 8

A Stranger in Moscow

12

^^ I mean aside from professionals.

Everyone looks bad dancing when they're drunk: fact.
Most people look bad at parties doing that kind of, jiggy grindy thing: fact.

Apart from you :wink:

Reply 9

qubog

12

SmilerNuts

I beg to differ :cool:

Sienna Miller does, in Layer Cake...

I don't :frown:

Reply 10

made_of_fail

1

will anyone really care if you make a bit of a fool of yourself? just get pissed. i dont think there's any other way you can adjust to situations like this with your past experience.

or alternatively, do as i do, and reject large social occasions altogether i.e the way to happiness and wellbeing.

Reply 11

Creole

2

Maybe because you don't know many people you could get into a conversation with a few at the bar or something to avoid dancing.

Or just get some vodka in you and dance til the morning, but that may not come under your constructive heading...

Reply 12

tillhm

I made a fool of myself at prom (not sure whether you know about it). Lauged about (and with) me. So even though you might be made fun of, try it anyway. And just start laughing when they do. Always helps (unless they are truly laughing about you without any empathy).

Reply 13

Cowards

8

I'm going to a Christmas bash with my self-concious, anxious friend in a few weeks time too! What are the chances...

Reply 14

99p And A Flake

7

I'm sure you don't look that bad dancing, just don't go too OTT! Have a drink in your hand (so you can't go too crazy or else you'll spill it) and just stand with da dancin peeps. Try to move your head or something in time to the music and smile, and people will just assume you're making the effort and having a good time. Anyway, there'll come a point where most people are so drunk they won't notice what you're up to!

Reply 15

SmilerNuts

15

StarryEyedSurprise

People won't like me for saying this but, I find that having a couple of drinks helps. As long as you don't go overboard, you won't make a fool of yourself.