Advice- life

well first of all: Hi everyone, i'm new on here :smile:

Anyway, i would like some tips and advice on some things. Basically i'm fed up with my life at the moment. I finished college earlier in the year. I didnt make may friends, due to me being shy (and probably boring) and the friends that i did make have gone to uni so i dont see them :frown:

I feel so lonely and dont know how to make new friends, ive always found it hard to make friends because i'm so shy and never know what to say. I never had a boyfriend, or any guy be remotely interested in me and i'm nearly 19 :frown:

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I was bullied all the way through school because of the way i look etc. Ive always been quite ugly and never really bothered to make loads of effort like other girls of similar age, dont see the point i dont think i look better and never get compliments.

I did really badly at college, really struggled to keep up with the work. I dont know where to go from here. I spend all my time at home, on the computer and at work. Ive been trying to find a new job because i need more hours and want to work somewhere different, but no one seems to want me. Ive never been out clubbing and partying like people my age. I feel quite the loser. I just dont know how to get more confidence?! how to improve the way i look?! or how to make more friends, if i'm not at college or anything..please any advice tips would be appreciated :s-smilie:

Reply 1

tropical_igloo

firsty i would say get a new job...always good for meeting new ppl are night work such as a waitress/bar staff as they always have other young ppl working there so its a great way to meet people..i would suggest you go to all the local nightclubs/hand in cvs everywhere - say your willing to learn new things, reliable etc etc..make a good impression and then just wait and see - its nearly christmas so people will need the extra staff..
2nd..improve the way u look - to be honest no amount of new clothes or makeup will improve your look unless you have the inner confidence to go with it.. being bullied is a really hard thing to have to deal with and the only way to overcome it is to prove them wrong.. treat yourself to a new hair cut (colour,style,length etc) anything that makes a statement you're happy about..you need to feel the confidence before others will and if you walk hunched and don't have any eye contact etc with people they won't give you compliment, not because you're ugly but because they fail to notice you as you aren't giving off the right signals.. its the little things that count.. wearing something you feel good in is the best way to start...
if perhapes you aren't the best speaker because your shy (no ones boring!) then try places like facebook/myspace.. find people you maybe knew in college generally (they dont have to even be people you have talked to before but that you recognise) and befriend them! it only takes a little effort like "weren't we in the same class together?" to get talking to someone and develop a friendship..
and lastly about the whole guy stuff - i really wouldnt worry about it.. it isn't the be all end all situation if you don't/haven't had a boyfriend yet.. it really isn't that big a deal! :smile:

you still have the rest of your life to find that special someone and at 19 you haven't really had much of a chance to find someone so i wouldn't take it to heart..

Reply 2

olichemistry

maybe you could try joining a gym, or doing night classes at a college near you once or twice a week. It's a way to boost your confidence and make new friends at the same time, and you won't be getting bullied.

Or treat yourself to a pricey new hair cut to make yourself feel good.

Reply 3

tropical_igloo

olichemistry

haha try joining a gym? lol she never said she was overweight!!!

Reply 4

olichemistry

Reply 5

Saffie

olichemistry

i joined a gym, and i'm not overweight..... Just saying its a way to meet people.

i don't get it... you're hot and sweaty and out of breath at the gym.. surely not the ideal time to meet people?!

I definitely think joining stuff's the way forward though. Take up courses, do volunteer work, join a sports team even if you've never played before or aren't very good- there will be a team of people at your ability.

Perhaps try buying a self help book or going to the doctor about anxiety.

I think you really need to bite the bullet with the shyness.. try to talk to people even though it's hard. If you find the people you talk to aren't very friendly, then talk to other people.

You're not really missing out on the clubbing/partying side of life, don't worry :smile:

Reply 6

tropical_igloo

olichemistry

i joined a gym, and i'm not overweight..... Just saying its a way to meet people.

haha i totally agree with saffie on the gym thing! u have to pay just to go and get sweaty and tired, and wats the point if you dont want to tone up/loose weight?! you could spend that money on something much more fun like bowling,ice skating, orrrr salsa classes where everone is in a much happier flirty mood! etc etc lol.. whenever i go to a gym i never meet ppl as everyones too worn out/looking their worst to wanna talk to ya!