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Should I tell X I like her?

*Posted as anon because people I know use this forum*

O.K pretty common story here I think.
I've got a crush on one of my flatmates, love her personality, looks, everything is great. I'm not sure how she feels about me though, at school I never got much attention from girls so now this girl at uni is being really friendly etc I think I might just be jumping on the fact that's she's actually talking to me and making too much of it. She has gave a few tiny hints that she could like me but nothing major.

I was building up the confidence to tell her how feel for a while but then on one night out recently she brings this guy back to our flat and sleeps with him. I felt pretty bad, couldn't think of anything else all night/next day. The next day I was a bit of a **** and ignored her, she also found out I didn't sleep all night. I don't think she's really serious with him, more of a drunken thing but anyway does it show she doesn't like me then?

What I'm trying to work out to do now is:
1. Tell her flat out I like her, (a friend suggested go to a club then take her outside and tell her)?
2. Keep being friendly/ flirty, see what happens. (Risky I think because she could find someone else or get close to the guy she slept with)
3. Do nothing, she is a flatmate after all and a relationship would be bad.

Anyone got any suggestions on the best choice? Sorry for the long post. :redface:

Reply 1

JC.

19

Can you deal with the awkwardness if she rejects you?
If you can, go for it.

Reply 2

Saffie

11

two or three.

I'm quite a firm believer in three myself. Inter-flat relations makes things complicated.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Why not number one Saffie, I was kinda thinking about doing that this weekend. I really want to say how I feel, it's driving me crazy just constantly thinking "what if?"

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

You have to think about the quality of this girl, I know today it's common place to have one night stands, but personally I have no respect for people who are willing to sleep together so easily or quickly as you say this girl has.

However I do not wish to impose my moral views on you. OP what are your views on hasty sexual relations?

Reply 5

Saffie

11

Anonymous

Why not number one Saffie, I was kinda thinking about doing that this weekend. I really want to say how I feel, it's driving me crazy just constantly thinking "what if?"

It's pointless. If something's going to happen, it will. Especially if you get drunk together.

Try dance with her or flirting on a night out. It's much better making a move on a night out or generally when drunk because if you're pushed away you can blame the move on the alcohol and she won't know that you actually really really like her.

Reply 6

qubog

12

She could like you and bring someone back to your flat to sleep with them. Just so you know. But it will make things messy living/sleeping together

Reply 7

Saffie

11

also.. don't tell your other flatmates or mutual friends you like the girl. They WILL tell her. & It could make life quite awkward.

-and don't think that's fine cause it'll just boost her confidence.. it won't, or it will for about five seconds and then she'll feel awkward and possibly quite annoyed.

Reply 8

qubog

12

I agree, tell no-one!

Reply 9

Kagutsuchi

20

or

4. Don't tell her and get out of the house an socialise and get a girlfriend.

Reply 10

benrie likes it hot

Anonymous

You have to think about the quality of this girl, I know today it's common place to have one night stands, but personally I have no respect for people who are willing to sleep together so easily or quickly as you say this girl has.

I resent the implication that girls who have one night stands aren't worthy of people's respect. But as that's not the topic of this discussion...

All I'm saying is: you don't know unless you try.
Things don't just fall into your lap, sometimes you have to be willing to sacrifice a little dignity to get what you want.

I vote: do it!

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

qubog

I agree, tell no-one!

**** to late. I told her best friend on the night she got with that guy, although she did say she already guessed that I like X anyway.

I know the best thing to do now she knows I like her is probably just to carry on being friendly and see if she makes a move when we go out get drunk etc (although I'm really bad at working out if girls are making a move or just having fun. X will kiss me in the cheek and stuff when we take drunken photos, what does that mean....?)

But then if I wait for her and she never does anything I have no chance of letting her know how I feel or ever getting closer to her.

This is confusing and horrible. :confused:

Reply 12

Itchynscratchy

10

Telling her best friend was a massive error. It is very likely she knows.

I told a good friend I liked her, it massively blew up in my face and now we don't speak anymore at all.

Having said that, I don't regret it. The numb feeling I have now is much more preferably to the going crazy before.

Reply 13

Dream_Catcher

1

I'd try to hint in friendly flirty ways to see how she feels. Doing other straight forward stuff will make it arkward if she doesn't. But then again even if she does liek you and to start going out that could also become arkward. Either way you both living together can (not saying it will as people can live togetehr with thier partner at uni) make things arkward.

You best just keeping this girl as a very close girl friend and finding another girl to be with. Why wreck something that's already good but on the otherhand why not make it better if you can.

I've just realised I'm not helping you at all just giving to more opinions to decide from lol. Isn't life easy :wink:

Should I tell X I like her?

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