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My dad makes NO EFFORT to lose weight and I am losing it

My dad is obese and he knows all the health problems associated. He is nearing 65 and I am just getting so irritated every time I see him go to the fridge for an unecessary bit of cheese or finish off my sisers pizza that she didn't eat or "accidently" putting on too many chips that he doesnt even need to eat in the first place then eating all of them.

Aside from myself, I also have a very young sister (6 years old) that he needs to be around for. I just get so mad that he's all words no action. He says he will make an effort but he gives up or plays dumb when I tell him something like chips are not good for his health. I am sick of having to remind him that what he's eating is unecessary and unhealthy and I'm sure he's sick of hearing it. I am talking to a brick wall. I don't want him to die from a weight related illness, I get so upset at the thought because it's so preventable if he'd just stop bloody snacking when he isn't even hungry.

I'm honestly at my wits end with this I just don't know what to do and I need help. He can't exercise because he has leg problems. I love him and I am scared I'm going to lose him to this.
Original post by Anonymous
My dad is obese and he knows all the health problems associated. He is nearing 65 and I am just getting so irritated every time I see him go to the fridge for an unecessary bit of cheese or finish off my sisers pizza that she didn't eat or "accidently" putting on too many chips that he doesnt even need to eat in the first place then eating all of them.

Aside from myself, I also have a very young sister (6 years old) that he needs to be around for. I just get so mad that he's all words no action. He says he will make an effort but he gives up or plays dumb when I tell him something like chips are not good for his health. I am sick of having to remind him that what he's eating is unecessary and unhealthy and I'm sure he's sick of hearing it. I am talking to a brick wall. I don't want him to die from a weight related illness, I get so upset at the thought because it's so preventable if he'd just stop bloody snacking when he isn't even hungry.

I'm honestly at my wits end with this I just don't know what to do and I need help. He can't exercise because he has leg problems. I love him and I am scared I'm going to lose him to this.


reminds me of my father
Would you be able to replace his fatty food stores with healthier alternatives?
When you get older, some people tend to experience a shift in hormones that may make them feel a lot hungrier. He might genuinely just be eating because he's hungry. Unfortunately, his portion sizes are probably too large, he makes bad food choices and probably doesn't exercise, hence he's overweight. With some people though, it takes a serious health problem to give them a wake up call, and until then they'll not listen to you unfortunately.
Not trying to assume things but maybe he's depressed ? And the only way of getting rid of his feelings is by eating constantly
Does he do the grocery shopping in the house? If not, maybe get lots of healthy options of food and avoid buying chips and pizza. That might be a start to avoid him snacking on those things at home.
Change the food he has access to.

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Lmao you have no idea how hard it is to lose weight. Its not just a physical battle, but a psychological one as well. Unhealthy food is addictive (as it often triggers the release of dopamine in the brain (one of the feel good chemical)- hormones make sure of that. Instead of being angry at him (will not make him slim), try to talk to him. Why does he eat so much? Is it a coping mechanism? Does he has any other problems regarding stress etc?

Be logical and empathetic about this. Change can be hard and painful. Instead of being angry- help him get there. Explain to him why he must change and find the true cause for his obesity. Usually its something more than the love for food. Help him get other hobbies and ways to cut on food. Dieting is as simple as eating less energy than your body uses. If he is morbidly obese- perhaps surgery might help him get a headstart too.
Reply 8
Original post by MADMANMALIK
Lmao you have no idea how hard it is to lose weight. Its not just a physical battle, but a psychological one as well. Unhealthy food is addictive (as it often triggers the release of dopamine in the brain (one of the feel good chemical)- hormones make sure of that. Instead of being angry at him (will not make him slim), try to talk to him. Why does he eat so much? Is it a coping mechanism? Does he has any other problems regarding stress etc?

Be logical and empathetic about this. Change can be hard and painful. Instead of being angry- help him get there. Explain to him why he must change and find the true cause for his obesity. Usually its something more than the love for food. Help him get other hobbies and ways to cut on food. Dieting is as simple as eating less energy than your body uses. If he is morbidly obese- perhaps surgery might help him get a headstart too.


there's no need to be rude and condescending. there's a reason I am asking for advice. I am logical and empathetic thanks you clearly have no idea what it's like to be in my position.
Original post by Anonymous
there's no need to be rude and condescending. there's a reason I am asking for advice. I am logical and empathetic thanks you clearly have no idea what it's like to be in my position.


Tbf, your OP, whether you meant it to or not, comes across as very ignorant as to how your father is feeling and sounds like you assume he's just doing it out of greed and could stop at any moment if he just had a bit of will power, which he might be but we don't know that. Just a heads up :wink:
Original post by WoodyMKC
Tbf, your OP, whether you meant it to or not, comes across as very ignorant as to how your father is feeling and sounds like you assume he's just doing it out of greed and could stop at any moment if he just had a bit of will power, which he might be but we don't know that. Just a heads up :wink:


if you want to read it in that way that's far from the truth but i obviously don't have to defend myself to you.

maybe when people are answering people who are asking for advice they should consider every single thought and detail about a situation cannot be put in and there is a whole story that has led up to that question being asked. My OP does not come across in the way you're suggesting but whatever.
mods please delete this thread can't be arsed with some of these replies, thanks to anyone who tried to help instead of making ill informed and unhelpful/damaging judgements on me
Original post by MADMANMALIK
Lmao you have no idea how hard it is to lose weight. Its not just a physical battle, but a psychological one as well. Unhealthy food is addictive (as it often triggers the release of dopamine in the brain (one of the feel good chemical)- hormones make sure of that. Instead of being angry at him (will not make him slim), try to talk to him. Why does he eat so much? Is it a coping mechanism? Does he has any other problems regarding stress etc?

Be logical and empathetic about this. Change can be hard and painful. Instead of being angry- help him get there. Explain to him why he must change and find the true cause for his obesity. Usually its something more than the love for food. Help him get other hobbies and ways to cut on food. Dieting is as simple as eating less energy than your body uses. If he is morbidly obese- perhaps surgery might help him get a headstart too.


It is hard to lose weight, but I'm more concerned by the fact that he had a child when he was almost 60; he is a heart attack waiting to happen and he can't be active enough to take care of a 6 year old if he is 65, obese and has leg problems (probably among other things). Selfish and thoughtless.

OP, there isn't much you can do. It has to be his decision. I live with a family member and he smokes, eats too much etc etc. It annoys me because I'm trying to get my life on track and I don't need to see someone with no self control every day.

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