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Brother causing family bust ups
My brother has always had everything done for him all his life like everyone waiting around to give him a lift while he takes his time to get ready. He is at a local uni but on campus, me and my dad stop running round after him after the first 2 weeks as he was still taking the mick.
My mom is winding me up, she is doing assignments for him as he hasn't been going to lectures so got the assignment late (she don't know this). No-one did my assignments! He asked me if I thought it was wise to go out when deadlines are approaching, I said no but its up to you. I let this slip to my mom then she had a go on me cos he went out and she says I'm giving him bad advice. I thought I had told him what I would do but at 19 he should be able to decide himself.
She rushes up there late at night (though has work the next day) taking him food and his clean washing. I was annoyed this morning as I was cooking and he had taken my ketchup back. I know its only ketchup but its not the 'low in salt' one that he is adamant he only uses so I had to stop cooking and go buy some.
Today he has an exam and she has been ringing him and msn messaging him to wake up. She finally got through to him. Again most people I know wake themself up.
My dad is fed up and even says he is second best to my brother. I know parents have a duty to raise their kids but at 19 is a joke. I am angry cos they are paying for all this uni and when I was 18 I had an ultimatum to get a part time job cos they wouldn't pay for me to go out at uni (I didn't live on campus). I'm glad I did get a job as I learn't nothing comes for free.
How do I sort this out cos I am really angry as he has no independence at uni whatsoever, his actions are causing my mom to think she can take it out on me and my dad.
My mom is winding me up, she is doing assignments for him as he hasn't been going to lectures so got the assignment late (she don't know this). No-one did my assignments! He asked me if I thought it was wise to go out when deadlines are approaching, I said no but its up to you. I let this slip to my mom then she had a go on me cos he went out and she says I'm giving him bad advice. I thought I had told him what I would do but at 19 he should be able to decide himself.
She rushes up there late at night (though has work the next day) taking him food and his clean washing. I was annoyed this morning as I was cooking and he had taken my ketchup back. I know its only ketchup but its not the 'low in salt' one that he is adamant he only uses so I had to stop cooking and go buy some.
Today he has an exam and she has been ringing him and msn messaging him to wake up. She finally got through to him. Again most people I know wake themself up.
My dad is fed up and even says he is second best to my brother. I know parents have a duty to raise their kids but at 19 is a joke. I am angry cos they are paying for all this uni and when I was 18 I had an ultimatum to get a part time job cos they wouldn't pay for me to go out at uni (I didn't live on campus). I'm glad I did get a job as I learn't nothing comes for free.
How do I sort this out cos I am really angry as he has no independence at uni whatsoever, his actions are causing my mom to think she can take it out on me and my dad.
Reply 1
Your brother seems very spoiled indeed. The problem lies with your mum I think. Your dad seems to realise not to tend to his every whim and rightly so, he's 19!! Maybe have a discussion with your mum about it and tell her how you feel. If she stops mollycodelling him then he should soon get off his backside and look after himself. If she's worried that he'll fail uni then it's his own fault, it's off his own back!
Reply 2
yeah i agree, maybe get your dad in it too. But dont act like youre ganging up on her, just tell her how you both feel. Your mum needs to learn to let her 'little boy' go, otherwise its bad for him coz he wont learn anything about the real world and will always rely on your mum.
Also, it might be worth having a chat with your brother? Tell him he needs to grow up, explain how awesome uni was for you, and you're really glad with how you did it, as you've learnt so much about life etc
Also, it might be worth having a chat with your brother? Tell him he needs to grow up, explain how awesome uni was for you, and you're really glad with how you did it, as you've learnt so much about life etc
Reply 3
Not to state the obvious, but your parents are spoiling him irreversibly.
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