Do I have the right to be annoyed? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
My girlfriend has decided to completely ignore me through messages. We're both at work and I understand she's busy, but I've noticed she has been on WhatsApp quite literally every 10 minutes, and yet my message has been sitting there since this morning. That message wasn't particularly urgent, but to have been on her phone so often I thought I deserved a reply. Since then, I've sent her another one saying there was something I wanted to talk about (true, unrelated to this) and she read that within a few minutes - still no reply. In annoyance after I saw this I wrote "never mind, I'll talk to you tomorrow" which has once more been read and no response. Despite still repeatedly going online.

We've not had an argument, we were happily chatting away last night and it all seemed great, I'm not sure what's happened.
Would it be wrong for me to ask her what going on? It looks a bit message spam from me at the moment with the 3 messages so I'm loathe to send another
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xobeauty
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My girlfriend has decided to completely ignore me through messages. We're both at work and I understand she's busy, but I've noticed she has been on WhatsApp quite literally every 10 minutes, and yet my message has been sitting there since this morning. That message wasn't particularly urgent, but to have been on her phone so often I thought I deserved a reply. Since then, I've sent her another one saying there was something I wanted to talk about (true, unrelated to this) and she read that within a few minutes - still no reply. In annoyance after I saw this I wrote "never mind, I'll talk to you tomorrow" which has once more been read and no response. Despite still repeatedly going online.

We've not had an argument, we were happily chatting away last night and it all seemed great, I'm not sure what's happened.
Would it be wrong for me to ask her what going on? It looks a bit message spam from me at the moment with the 3 messages so I'm loathe to send another
Oh something is wrong. Maybe she saw something on your social media. Or something u said during that convo last night .

Ask her. And if no reply just wait it out.
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ktregan
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#3
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Hopefully the only reason she hasn't replied is because she's read the message and become preoccupied with something else. If she is going out of her way to ignore you, there's an underlying issue there. Maybe ask her about it after work, but before that check about how her day was first. She might tell you why herself, rather than an interrogation having to take place.

Good luck! :0
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Anonymous #1
#4
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(Original post by xobeauty)
Oh something is wrong. Maybe she saw something on your social media. Or something u said during that convo last night .

Ask her. And if no reply just wait it out.
I rarely post on social media and she did reply to me first thing this morning, just general chit chat about our plans when we're not together, what we might do tomorrow etc. Nothing forward or that would cause offence. Most peculiar.

(Original post by ktregan)
Hopefully the only reason she hasn't replied is because she's read the message and become preoccupied with something else. If she is going out of her way to ignore you, there's an underlying issue there. Maybe ask her about it after work, but before that check about how her day was first. She might tell you why herself, rather than an interrogation having to take place.

Good luck! :0
I hope you're right, but it's happened a few times and been hours since she read the first one despite coming online repeatedly. I'm not seeing her until tomorrow, she's working late tonight and tomorrow where I'll pick her up from work.
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Integer
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#5
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Best to stop checking whatsapp, you'll only become consumed by checking when she's online all the time. You could text instead?
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Zainabsehar
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#6
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You need to not keep messaging her and start ignoring her back. Only because if you keep messaging her especially saying it's okay never mind it's going to come across really needy.

If you stop messaging her she will wonder why and she will have more interest in making conversation. Sad but true.
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Pinkberry_y
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#7
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How about you CALL her
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Anonymous #1
#8
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(Original post by Pinkberry_y)
How about you CALL her
We were both at work so calling wasn't practical. She eventually replied to me, with a half hearted explanation but I see her in person tomorrow so we'll see whether something is up there.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by Zainabsehar)
You need to not keep messaging her and start ignoring her back. Only because if you keep messaging her especially saying it's okay never mind it's going to come across really needy.

If you stop messaging her she will wonder why and she will have more interest in making conversation. Sad but true.
My problem is I'm too conversational, I see her message and I've instantly got a reply in mind, with questions and jokes etc. And our messages are reasonably long, ignoring it would just interrupt the flow and besides she's working long days today and tomorrow (13hr shifts), so she'll still be occupied and it'll just me who's sitting on it.
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em211997
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#10
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Mate this was me. I turned off my last seen on whatsapp you might want to turn your blue ticks off too if it makes you unnecessarily paronoid to the point where you're constantly checking. Has she done this sort of thing before? Or is she the type to address concerns straight up? Don't do anything petty like ignoring her just stop constantly checking up all the time. It will help you in future.
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asif007
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#11
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Never EVER trust someone who is always on their phone but never replies to you. It's common courtesy to reply to every message you get, even if it's to disappoint someone. Shame that girls don't get that. She's a **** girlfriend - you need to stop checking your whatsapp immediately, don't call or text her at all. Then when she comes crawling back to you, ignore the hell out of her. That should teach her a lesson.
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em211997
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(Original post by asif007)
Never EVER trust someone who is always on their phone but never replies to you. It's common courtesy to reply to every message you get, even if it's to disappoint someone. Shame that girls don't get that. She's a **** girlfriend - you need to stop checking your whatsapp immediately, don't call or text her at all. Then when she comes crawling back to you, ignore the hell out of her. That should teach her a lesson.
This isn't then way to treat a partner at all. They're not your child, you don't have to teach them anything. That's really emotionally manipulative when it could be down to a simple misunderstanding. Obviously there are communication issues, but what your advising would break the relationship down. Surely it's best to just leave if you can tell trust someone rather than to play all these mind games?
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asif007
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(Original post by em211997)
This isn't then way to treat a partner at all. They're not your child, you don't have to teach them anything. That's really emotionally manipulative when it could be down to a simple misunderstanding. Obviously there are communication issues, but what your advising would break the relationship down. Surely it's best to just leave if you can tell trust someone rather than to play all these mind games?
If a partner is not your child, then why is OP's girlfriend behaving like such a child? You seem to forget the fact that girls are not up front or honest about anything - they would rather ignore someone than tell them what the issue is. Girls play mind games like this all the time, but you expect a guy to just sit back and put up with it? No chance. I stand by the advice I gave above.
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by asif007)
Never EVER trust someone who is always on their phone but never replies to you. It's common courtesy to reply to every message you get, even if it's to disappoint someone. Shame that girls don't get that. She's a **** girlfriend - you need to stop checking your whatsapp immediately, don't call or text her at all. Then when she comes crawling back to you, ignore the hell out of her. That should teach her a lesson.
How is someone a "**** girlfriend" for not being constantly attached to their phone 24/7? I'd be pretty pissed if a) I'm expected to reply to every single message and b) replying instantly, which you seem to be implying.
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asif007
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#15
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(Original post by Tiger Rag)
How is someone a "**** girlfriend" for not being constantly attached to their phone 24/7? I'd be pretty pissed if a) I'm expected to reply to every single message and b) replying instantly, which you seem to be implying.
LOL, don't try it. It's perfectly acceptable for someone to take a bit of time to reply to a message. On the other hand, ignoring them on purpose for days on end is what makes her a **** girlfriend. As I said above, it's common courtesy to reply to every message you get.

You seem to forget that OP mentioned that his girlfriend opened the messages and read them. So her phone was in her hand. The "I didn't have my phone" excuse is moot.
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by asif007)
LOL, don't try it. It's perfectly acceptable for someone to take a bit of time to reply to a message. On the other hand, ignoring them on purpose for days on end is what makes her a **** girlfriend. As I said above, it's common courtesy to reply to every message you get.

You seem to forget that OP mentioned that his girlfriend opened the messages and read them. So her phone was in her hand. The "I didn't have my phone" excuse is moot.
So, you'd reply to a message that said "ok" then?

I sometimes open messages and don't reply straight away because they require some thought or I've got to check my diary before agreeing to stuff.

I honestly do wonder how the hell people managed before mobile phones, seriously.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by asif007)
If a partner is not your child, then why is OP's girlfriend behaving like such a child? You seem to forget the fact that girls are not up front or honest about anything - they would rather ignore someone than tell them what the issue is. Girls play mind games like this all the time, but you expect a guy to just sit back and put up with it? No chance. I stand by the advice I gave above.
Not all girls are like that, especially not me, so don't generalise. If I was the guy, I would have straight up asked what the problem is. I do the same with guys.
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asif007
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(Original post by Tiger Rag)
So, you'd reply to a message that said "ok" then?

I sometimes open messages and don't reply straight away because they require some thought or I've got to check my diary before agreeing to stuff.

I honestly do wonder how the hell people managed before mobile phones, seriously.
Except OP's girlfriend didn't even reply with an "ok". She just opened the messages, read them and ignored them.

"OK" is a logical stopping point for a conversation. That's common sense.

How is the other person supposed to know that you're checking your diary? To them, it just looks like you're ignoring them. IMO, it's fine up to a cut-off point (i.e. 1 day maximum). Any longer than that and they're just really **** at replying to messages (which makes them **** at communicating), or they're ignoring you deliberately.

Put it this way - I used to have friends who took 3 weeks to reply to a message. Do you think I should have stayed friends with those people? I don't.
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asif007
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not all girls are like that, especially not me, so don't generalise. If I was the guy, I would have straight up asked what the problem is. I do the same with guys.
Using yourself as an example is a poor excuse. All girls do it, whether or not they realise - until you point it out to them in person.
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by asif007)
Using yourself as an example is a poor excuse. All girls do it, whether or not they realise - until you point it out to them in person.
We're not. You mean the girls you've met are. There's a huge difference.
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