Never will understand women!!!

Okay, I just don't understand some women, and I was hoping maybe someone here can explain to me what's going on.

First off, I asked out one of my friends in a drunken state a week ago, and I don't think she understood it was a date kinda thing. I know, well done me!

Ever since this she has side stepped the issue and made jokes about it, while giving off an air of tacit rejection regarding our date. Usually I would take this as "not interested", and she is just protecting my feelings, bless her.

However, since I have asked her, she's spending more time with me than before. This I just don't understand! Like she's instigating most of the interaction we have. Maybe the idea I had thought up for us to go at, she just didn't want to do. She just confuses me so much!

I know people will just say, "talk to her", but that only works on Dawson's creek. I don't want to make things awkward as they seem to be fine now. Being subtly rejected once is bad enough, but being absolutely rejected is another thing altogether. So what should I do? I wouldn't mind retaining a shred of dignity by the way!

Reply 1

dh00001

16

that is confusing. il think of the best and worst possibilities in my mind but they are guesses, she knows whats going on and theres only one real way of finding that out :wink:

anyway: she said no becuase she felt she didnt really know you and is know trying to do so in case you ask again (best scenario)
she feels bad for rejecting you and thinks she needs to spend as much time with you as possible so you dont feel bad (worst)

or maybe she just wants you as a friend.
build a friendship with her and maybe try a little flirting but dont get hung up waiting for her, start looking for another too

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

dh00001

that is confusing. il think of the best and worst possibilities in my mind but they are guesses, she knows whats going on and theres only one real way of finding that out :wink:

anyway: she said no becuase she felt she didnt really know you and is know trying to do so in case you ask again (best scenario)
she feels bad for rejecting you and thinks she needs to spend as much time with you as possible so you dont feel bad (worst)

or maybe she just wants you as a friend.
build a friendship with her and maybe try a little flirting but dont get hung up waiting for her, start looking for another too

Thanks mate for the reply.

No, I think she probably knows me at this stage, but I've had girlfriends who didn't give out as many positive signals as she did towards me. I wasn't even thinking about her feeling bad, and wanted to spend time with me because of it. That's just the worst. I don't want pity thanks!!!

I wish I could just cut her out of my life, but it's hard when someone is being so nice to you and all that. I just can't have anymore uncertainty in my life. I already have a few personal problems at home. I know it'd be mean to just not be friends anymore, but I think it'd be worse to just be friends.

I hope there's some middle ground scenario in the two you have proffered, otherwise I'm in trouble!! haha

Reply 3

pumpkin7

13

you will never understand us... muhahahaa!

Reply 4

samba

6

pumpkin7

you will never understand us... muhahahaa!

You should be kept in a cage for study then. :wink:

Reply 5

*HullaBaLoO*

Guys are just as confusing!

Reply 6

dh00001

16

Anonymous

I hope there's some middle ground scenario in the two you have proffered, otherwise I'm in trouble!! haha

oh there will be and its more than likely that the real reasons in there.
why not just make the most of having a good friend around

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

That's easier said than done. I have enough good friends around, it's just hard to look past it you know.

Can anyone else try and explain her behaviour?

Reply 8

*Stargirl*

i dont think she wants to date you, but as she knows you like her she might feel flattered and stupidly hang around you more

Reply 9

FreeBird

There are probably 2 possibilities,
one: she doesnt want to date you and so isnt approaching the subject, or
two: maybe shes wanting you to ask her out properly? You know, without the slurring and falling over :P
I know if someone asked me out while drunk and i wanted to date them, i would wait until theyre sober to make sure theyre being sincere. maybe thats why shes hanging around with you more...testing the water? giving you plenty of opportunities.

If she definitely doesnt want to date you however, maybe the whole experience has bonded you a bit in her eyes, and so she wants to spend more time with you. I wouldnt assume it'd be a pity thing, you would probably be able to tell I would think, like if she starts pointing out other potential women to you, helping you move on etc.

Feel good, seems you've either got a potential date or an awesome new closer friend :smile:

Reply 10

Strictly Business

14

The key isn't in understanding women, but overstanding them.

Reply 11

Seanisonfire

15

The more you know about women the more you realise you dont know ;yes;

Reply 12

FreeBird

Even I dont understand myself sometimes, and I'm a girl!!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

*Stargirl*

i dont think she wants to date you, but as she knows you like her she might feel flattered and stupidly hang around you more

Haha, that's a bit harsh.
It's getting more confusing by the day. I'm getting random general texts from her now at different hours of the day. I don't know what's going on!

I want to just leave it and move on, and then she'll start coming over to me, and making small talk, just so she can chat with me. Honestly, she seems to want me to give her more attention, yet at the same time, will slag me about asking her out to do a random thing.

If she did go out on a date with me she would be spending less time than she is now.

It's just way too confusing! How the hell are men able to cope?!

Thanks everyone for their help though, especially Freebird's positivity!

Anyone else know what to make of all this?

Reply 14

FreeBird

when you say you 'want to just leave it and move on' you dont mean you want her out of your life do you? because thats a bit harsh, i mean she was your friend before, why not now? :s-smilie:

I'm going to assume you meant leave the issue of your drunken asking her out and get on being normal like before because i dont think you're that mean :smile:

Also, the random extra texting more than usual is a good sign, either shes interested or shes a closer friend, like i said before. Kinda confirms it :biggrin:

Reply 15

Dream_Catcher

1

Hun we're not here to understand lol Just here for you to love us. Maybe you should just stay friends with her.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks again people for the advice. Well it's moved on again now. Now she says that I hardly asked her out when I asked her to go with me to do a random thing. She asked me to go out with her for drinks, and to ask my friends to come too. Later, she phoned me again, chatting for nearly an hour about nothing in particular, you know how it is.

So, do I ask her again, and this time make it sober and proper? Or will I just leave it as a friendship? Bear in mind, beforehand she was just a friend of a friend, but now she's in contact with me more than my friend!

I'm getting more confused by the day! Someone get me out of this purgatory.

I hate to say this as it sounds so O.C.-ish, but I need some closure, haha.

Reply 17

Chumbaniya

17

*HullaBaLoO*

Guys are just as confusing!

That's rubbish and you know it. The whole spectrum of male behaviour can be understood in terms of the desires for food and sex.

Reply 18

Ink

12

Dude, she seems to be making a lot of effort with you. Calling you to "talk about random crap." Telling you you "hardly asked her out." Inviting you out herself, with friends. She likes you. She is practically begging you to ask her out properly. Most girls would not go this out of their way for someone who has (from the way you're talking) put in so little just for attention. I'm sure she could have gone to another guy "just for attention."

Ask her out. Even if she says no, it's the only way you'll get closure.

Reply 19

silverbolt

19

Chumbaniya

That's rubbish and you know it. The whole spectrum of male behaviour can be understood in terms of the desires for food and sex.

dont forget beer and cars/bikes/things that make lots of noise

We're usually thinking about one of those 4

Never will understand women!!!

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