My "fella's" abroad

Hey, i'm not entirely sure what i'm going to get out of this, but i figured i'd try and see what other people reckon.

basically, i'd been seeing this foreign guy for a bit, but i knew it wasn't going to be a long term thing because his work permit expired at the end of September and he had to leave the UK. I knew all about this when our relationship started and when september came we said goodbye and he returned to India, and i figured that was the end of that and i guess i got over him.

However, a couple of weeks ago he started texting me from India, telling me he missed me and he wanted to see me. So we started talking again, over the phone, via text and email, and last night he told me he was coming back to the UK in the next 3 months to see me.

Now my problem is, do you think it's sensible to carry on a relationship like this, where it is going to be infrequent, or do you think it is possible to keep a relationship that is fairly uncertain going? What would you guys do in a similar situation because i am really unsure about what to do.

Sorry for my waffling, hope it makes sense.

Reply 1

Angelil

19

There's no harm in giving it a try. How often would you be able to see each other if you did carry on?
I'm in England and my boyfriend's in France. It's been that way ever since we met, we've now been together 3 years and I'm moving out there for good next year. Time between visits has varied considerably between 2 weeks and 10 weeks depending on what we've both been up to. I know I'm clearly biased, but I would say it IS possible to have a happy fulfilling LDR when the two of you are in different countries. There's no harm in trying :smile:

Reply 2

sarcasticallysincere

It is hard to say because it is totally subjective I mean it genuinely depends on what you believe and feel - I mean we can help you give you an objective insight but in the end we don't know you so in the end it depends on you.

Questions to ask yourself -
1. How do you genuinely feel about him? Do you genuinely love him or do you just love being in love?

2. Do you feel able to stand long periods where you probably won't see him or maybe even talk to him?

3. Are you willing to dedicate yourself to someone who is barely ever around.

4. Are you able to make the necessary financial commitment in terms of phone bills and long haul flight prices.

5. How did you feel when you thought it was over versus how you felt when he contacted you again.

Reply 3

Helenia

20

Angelil

There's no harm in giving it a try. How often would you be able to see each other if you did carry on?
I'm in England and my boyfriend's in France. It's been that way ever since we met, we've now been together 3 years and I'm moving out there for good next year. Time between visits has varied considerably between 2 weeks and 10 weeks depending on what we've both been up to. I know I'm clearly biased, but I would say it IS possible to have a happy fulfilling LDR when the two of you are in different countries. There's no harm in trying :smile:

England-France is a bit different from England-India though...

Reply 4

Angelil

19

Naturally. Just sharing my experience :smile:

Reply 5

tourist

9

The Sharpest Lives.

i guess i got over him

Says it all really. Is it worth this kind of long distance relationship with someone you can get over in a few months?

Reply 6

Sarky

18

My boyf is in Singapore! It's hard and if i didn't know when i would see him it would make it a lot more difficult, but we were in a LDR before he went abroad, so it wasn't as drastic a change. Only 6 months until he comes home!

Reply 7

Llamaaa

15

My boyfriend is in Peru. I met him when he was in England for a few weeks, and then he went back to Peru. We kept in touch, and I since have flown out there every holiday except for easter this year when he came to me. We generally have at least 2 months in between visits, an it is working fine. Granted, it's not ideal, but it's better than nothing, since we do love each other. All going well he is coming to england on a student visa next year and then hopefully will transfer to a work permit a year later.

I'd say that for such a long distance thing to work you have to have feelings for each other, otherwise it will just be frustrating and not seem to be worth the effort. If you think there is a chance that there is something there and you can handle the prolonged periods of separation, then I'd say go for it. You never know if you don't try :smile: