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Tell her I love her?

I'm utterly, obviously, and irreversibly in love with a girl. Problem is she's way out of my 'league', if you believe in such a concept. She'll probably read this, hence the anonymousness. Currently we're just good friends, but she must have figured out how I feel. I think she might have a boyfriend, but if she does, it will almost certainly be on the verge of collapsing in the 'long distance relationship at Uni' thing. Should I tell her how I feel and risk everything falling apart?

Reply 1

Hana_87

16

Ooooh tricky one. I hate all this 'league' rubbish. A guy whom i'd liked for a long time addmitted to me once that the reason we had never got it together or he'd ever tried anything to me was that he was convinced i was way out of his league! I was like 'whaaaaaat?!' i fancied the pants off him so his assuming that i was too good for him etc etc was total crap!

I mean, whats the worst that can happen? Ok so she could reject your advances in terms of a relationship and want to be your friend, but if you're good friends already, these feelings shouldn't change that, providing your genuinely willing to accept she doesn't feel the same and be a friend to her.

Reply 2

Strictly Business

14

No, don't even think about it! Tell her you like her and whatnot... but not that you "love" her.

Reply 3

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

Anonymous

I think she might have a boyfriend

Do you even know her that well? :s-smilie:

Reply 4

Strictly Business

14

jess_17_07

Do you even know her that well? :s-smilie:

I kind of got the impression that he knows her on-line and not in real life.

Reply 5

Hana_87

16

..Inphinite..

No, don't even think about it! Tell her you like her and whatnot... but not that you "love" her.

Yeah, love might not be the right word...:s

Reply 6

username47781

20

I tend to agree with Hana on the leagues bit, it is mostly rubbish. By the sounds of it you don't know this girl very well.

Reply 7

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

..Inphinite..

I kind of got the impression that he knows her on-line and not in real life.

oh, yes I just re-read and see what you mean...

Reply 8

Strictly Business

14

Hana_87

Yeah, love might not be the right word...:s

So.. are you the brunette or the blonde? :p:

Reply 9

*pitseleh*

20

Hana_87

Ooooh tricky one. I hate all this 'league' rubbish. A guy whom i'd liked for a long time addmitted to me once that the reason we had never got it together or he'd ever tried anything to me was that he was convinced i was way out of his league! I was like 'whaaaaaat?!' i fancied the pants off him so his assuming that i was too good for him etc etc was total crap!

I mean, whats the worst that can happen? Ok so she could reject your advances in terms of a relationship and want to be your friend, but if you're good friends already, these feelings shouldn't change that, providing your genuinely willing to accept she doesn't feel the same and be a friend to her.

Same. My other half apparently found it quite difficult to start the ball rolling because he had some silly idea about 'leagues' ... little knowing that I was super-flattered when I found out my some clandestine means that he was interested anyway. We first started dating almost six years ago, and have been in a serious relationship for around the last three-and-a-half years now - so I'd just give it a shot if I were you, OP. :smile:

EDIT: Oh yeah.. and telling someone you love them out of the blue is probably *not* a good idea. Showing your interest is a different matter, though.

Reply 10

Hana_87

16

..Inphinite..

So.. are you the brunette or the blonde? :p:

Haha, which one would you like me to be? :wink:

Reply 11

Strictly Business

14

Hana_87

Haha, which one would you like me to be? :wink:

Truth be told, I go for the brunettes. The same would be in this case as well. Right answer? :dontknow:

Reply 12

angel_with_horns

im a brunette *flutters eyelashes*

OP, you shouldn't tell her you love her because to me it seems like you don't. i mean you can't even be sure if she has a boyfriend... :s-smilie:

Reply 13

Profesh

20

No. Do it yourself.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Of course I know her in real life! Otherwise it would just be weird. She just doesn't talk much about her life away from Uni, and if I asked her after so long if she has a boyfriend it would be obvious what I was after. Let's assume I find out she doesn't have a boyfriend, or they split up, which most couples do once Uni becomes a problem. I could damage our friendship if she finds me unattractive, which I think is almost certainly true.

Reply 15

weet_ABI_x

11

I don't think you should tell her something that'll put a strain on her already-suffering relationship. That's not fair on her, or her boyfriend.

If they split up, I wouldn't tell her for a while either. She won't take it well if she's coping with a break-up.

The only thing I have against telling her how you feel is the fact she has a boyfriend - there is no such thing as "leagues". I've been told I am out of some people's leagues and that some people are out of my leagues, but it makes no difference to whether I want to be in a relationship with them. Be confident and people are more likely to want you than if you are always putting yourself down.

Good luck!

Tell her I love her?

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