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A Very Personal Statement watch

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    I want to delete this post!
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    it's really good. one of my favourite artists is jason pollock too, they say his random paintings reflect the make up of fractals, the mathmatical unit which makes up everything in nature. i'm like you too, i prefer the theory behind the art, that's why, after doing an art foundation i decided to pursue a philosophy degree instead. I find that after reading philosophy i have more inspiration to create works of art, and hope to do much more in my free time. when i had to do it full time, it became a chore, and was too forced. but anyhow, your ps is really good, i liked the way you linked all your subjects to philosophy, and included your inspirations. would like to see your work on your website one day
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    A very good statement, but..........the last line - I have absolutely no idea what, but it just doesn't seem right to me; I wish I could give you some better advice on that but it just doesn't sit right. I think it's the 'logical deduction' bit - just doesn't sound right......

    Flip knows what I'm talking about.... :confused:
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    Yes, 'by logical deduction' to 'naturally' might be better.

    Personal statements must balance the conversational with the technical... no mean task.
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    sounds good to me, hope I can write something as well as that! well done!
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    (Original post by Juxtapiped)
    My academic studies have encouraged me to satisfy my ever-increasing passion for Philosophy. I hope to expand upon my fundamental knowledge during my university experience. I relish the study of previous Philosophers' work, particularly that of R.G Collingwood and Bertrand Russell. This has aspired me to, in the future, have the capacity to compete with such intellects and put forward my own philosophy. This an opportunity that will no doubt arise through the course of the degree.

    I feel that my experiences both outside and within school reflect my interest in Philosophy, specifically Aesthetics. This being the nature and basis of judgements concerning beauty and artistic expression. For over two years I have acquired a considerable passion for Digital Artwork and Photography. I have learned to appreciate the nature of expression and what constitutes a successful artistic result. A cursory reading of R.G Collingwood's 'The Principals of Art' has improved my understanding of this.

    I have pursued my interest for Digital Artwork and Photography through many work experiences. I was once commissioned to direct a short film expressing the importance of learning a foreign language within schools. I have also worked alongside a Graphic Design company in a photo shoot and created the artwork surrounding a local drugs awareness presentation. Such experiences have taught me invaluable skills and have improved my awareness of artistic expression within industry. They have also made me realise the importance of debating theory, which is where my pasion lies.

    During what was a particularly productive period of work experience in a law firm I was encouraged to rigorously construct logical arguments for many cases. This has intensived my debating skills. I believe this particularly important in Philosophy.

    Aside Philosophy, my creative interests have led me to consider the work of the Abstract Expressionist Jackson Pollock, whose random and often violent application of paint questions the purport of Art. Is true artistic beauty to be found in meticulous craftsmanship or relentless attempts to convey inexplicable emotion? My artwork resembles that of Pollock, and has been exhibited in local galleries as well as on the Internet.

    Although academia is important to me, I thoroughly enjoy other activities including sports such as tennis and football for which i represented a local club and my school. Such activities have helped me to learn how to balance my academic life with my social life. Having also recently acquired a part-time cleaning job in my school's art department, time management and organisation has become a key skill i have now been able to develop.

    All my experiences within the art industry/work places have allowed me to enjoy a large variety of knowledgable aspects. These have amalgamated to form the study of Philosophy. Naturally, this is ultimately the subject to which I feel I should dedicate.
    Soz the original PS was brilliant but you will have to be less wordy and more sharp in your sentences. Dont be negative in your sentences as well, admissions tutors wouldnt like it i think.

    I have ammended your PS, i hope you like it.

    Soz again if i have ruined it lol :rolleyes:
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    As of yet, my academic studies have failed to satisfy my passion for Philosophy, and in studying for a Philosophy degree I am hoping to expand upon my self-taught knowledge of the basics. Not only am I looking forward to being able to study the work of famous Philosophers of the past, particularly that of R.G Collingwood and Bertrand Russell, but I am hoping that their ideas will afford me a greater understanding of the external world.
    Within the discipline of Philosophy I am especially interested in the field of Aesthetics; the nature and basis of judgements concerning beauty and artistic expression. For over two years I have acquired a considerable passion for Digital Artwork and Photography; learning to appreciate the nature of expression and what constitutes a successful artistic result. R.G Collingwood's book, 'The Principals of Art', has deepened my understanding of this; I tend to agree with his suggestion that successful Art is the outcome of an attempt to describe a specific yet incomprehensible feeling and not simply a 'category' of feeling, such as love, hate or envy.
    Work Experience has allowed me to pursue my interest in Digital Artwork and Photography. I have been tasked tasked with the direction of a short film expressing the importance of learning a foreign language in school. I have also worked briefly for a Graphic Design company, assisting in a photo shoot, and have worked on the design for drugs awareness presentation. Although such experiences have improved my awareness of artistic expression within industry, they have also made me realise that I much prefer to debate the theory of artistic endevour, over the practice.
    Aside Philosophy, my creative interests have led me to consider the work of the Abstract Expressionist Jackson Pollock, whose random and often violent application of paint questions the purport of Art; whether true artistic beauty is to be found in meticulous craftsmanship or relentless attempts to convey inexplicable emotion. Indeed I am attempting to have my artwork, which resembles and is inspired by that of Pollock, exhibited in local galleries and thus far have succeeded in displaying the majority of it on the Internet.
    In my spare time, I thoroughly enjoy Racquet Sports; playing tennis as often as is humanly possible. I have also enjoyed playing Football, for bothmy local club and school. I also find time to uphold a part-time cleaning job in my school's art department.
    For me, in both my academic studies and my work experiences I have found myself enjoying specific aspects much more than the whole. I feel that all these aspects that I have encountered and that have captivated my imagination would be best persued in the study of a Philosophy degree.

    * * * * *

    That's my editing done...

    Cut out the bit about coming up with new philosophy - it aint gonna happen mate, there are no new ideas under the sun in that discipline...

    Stuff at the law firm is completely irrelevant to your course. Cut it out!

    Do you have any more hobbies? Add them in.

    Other fields of philosophy in which you are interested? Add them in. Aesthetics is all very well, but a philosophy dregree won't be 100% Aesthetics.

    Feel free to completely ignore my editing...but seriously - USE SIMPLER WORDS!! What if the person reading it has no conception of Aesthetics? What if they are a teacher of logic, for example? They might not have read said book, cut out the textual jargon. Okay, apart from that it is pretty damn good. Well done.
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    (Original post by Juxtapiped)
    Ahem, anyway, this is my first draft of my personal statement - any general comments about it would be most welcome!


    As yet my academic studies have failed to satisfy my ever-increasing passion for Philosophy, and in studying such a subject at university I hope to expand upon my self-taught knowledge of its fundamentals. Not only do I relish the study of previous Philosophers' work, particularly that of R.G Collingwood and Bertrand Russell but I also dream of one day having the capacity to compete with such intellects and put forward my own philosophy; an opportunity that will no doubt arise throughout the degree course.

    I feel that my experiences both outside and within school reflect my interest in Philosophy and specifically in the study of Aesthetics; the nature and basis of judgements concerning beauty and artistic expression. For over two years I have acquired a considerable passion for Digital Artwork and Photography; learning to appreciate the nature of expression and what constitutes a successful artistic result. A cursory reading of R.G Collingwood's 'The Principals of Art' has improved my understanding of this; I tend to agree with his suggestion that the 'Artist Proper' is one that strives to convey not a 'thing of a certain kind' but a 'certain thing'; that is to say that successful Art is the strive to describe a specific yet incomprehensible feeling and not simply a 'category' of feeling, such as love, hate or envy.
    I have pursued my interest for Digital Artwork and Photography in the form of Work Experience and was once commissioned locally to direct a short film alongside other pupils expressing the importance of learning a foreign language within schools. I have also worked briefly alongside a Graphic Design company assisting in a photo shoot and have created the artwork surrounding a local drugs awareness presentation. Although such experiences have taught me invaluable skills and improved my awareness of artistic expression within industry, they have also made me realise that I much prefer to debate the theory; my passion lies in the philosophy and analysis - not so much the practice.
    During what was a particularly productive period of work experience in a law firm I was encouraged to rigorously construct logical arguments for some of the most seemingly abstract and confusing cases; although I thoroughly enjoyed this challenge I discovered that this was the only source of gratification for me in the law profession. Its philosophy, I feel, is indeed greatly flawed if the intention is concerned more with subjectively suiting a client's interests than in objectively discovering absolute truth.
    Aside Philosophy, my creative interests have led me to consider the work of the Abstract Expressionist Jackson Pollock, whose random and often violent application of paint questions the purport of Art; whether true artistic beauty is to be found in meticulous craftsmanship or relentless attempts to convey inexplicable emotion. Indeed I am attempting to have my artwork, which resembles and is inspired by that of Pollock, exhibited in local galleries and thus far have succeeded in displaying the majority of it on the Internet. Although academia is my chief source of gratification, I thoroughly enjoy Racquet Sports and play tennis as regularly as the weather permits, whilst I have also played Football both as representing a local club and my own school; this surely being a demonstration of my ability to reconcile education and leisure; not that the two don't occasionally coincide. Having recently acquired a part-time cleaning job in my school's art department I am now facing strenuous demands on my time management, but with the efficient organisational skills that my teachers, and peers, attribute to me this has proved to be of no detriment to my academic studies.

    Of all my productive experiences be they in the work place, or the art industry I have enjoyed only specific aspects of each; all being aspects that amalgamate to form the study of Philosophy, and so by logical deduction, this is ultimately the subject to which I am entirely dedicated.
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    • PS Helper
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    PS Helper
    Surely, it's Principles of Art NOT Principals ??? or is this a really odd book?!
 
 
 
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