28 year old virgin

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jay2013
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#1
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How do you deal with being a 28 year old virgin? Never had a relationship and never done anything with a girl. Got no friends in London and my speech impairment has always made it difficult to interact socially. I've been rejected quite a few times and quite badly as well. My lack of sexual experience really weighs heavily on me and I would rather not get to 30 and still be in this situation.
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Friffinghell
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(Original post by jay2013)
How do you deal with being a 28 year old virgin? Never had a relationship and never done anything with a girl. Got no friends in London and my speech impairment has always made it difficult to interact socially. I've been rejected quite a few times and quite badly as well. My lack of sexual experience really weighs heavily on me and I would rather not get to 30 and still be in this situation.
In the words of Elsa... you have to 'Let it go...'!

First of all... being a 28 year old virgin is no big deal. Being any age of virgin is no big deal. It only matters if you think it matters which means it is entirely subjective.

Living with a speech impairment is tough, but you can't let it get in your way. What do you do for fun? Can you broaden your social circle a bit?

Let go of past rejections- they're in the past. I'm not the same person today that I was yesterday so how can I judge myself on the person that I was years ago?

Look at it as a fresh start and put yourself out there.
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phunky_fresh
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I don't think that's bad. Although I know it's different for guys, I was a virgin until I was 27. Do you go anywhere to meet new people?
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jay2013
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(Original post by Friffinghell)
In the words of Elsa... you have to 'Let it go...'!

First of all... being a 28 year old virgin is no big deal. Being any age of virgin is no big deal. It only matters if you think it matters which means it is entirely subjective.

Living with a speech impairment is tough, but you can't let it get in your way. What do you do for fun? Can you broaden your social circle a bit?

Let go of past rejections- they're in the past. I'm not the same person today that I was yesterday so how can I judge myself on the person that I was years ago?

Look at it as a fresh start and put yourself out there.
Well my virginity is important to me so I guess it is important and is the is a big deal. Maybe I stats societal pressure and the negativity around being a older virgin.

I play video games and I enjoy games where I can shoot stuff like GTA 5, Call of Duty etc. I have no friends and I don't know to converse with people socially. Never have really. So broadening my social circle is difficult.

I don't know how to let go of past rejections if I've never been successful. Having some success would help offset the rejections. I guess some of the rejections cut deeper than others like the girl I fell in love with who married my former flatmate. That's when this really started. I was holed up in a hotel room last Saturday half drunk and Googling ways to end myself after learning my oldest friend was now engaged.

(Original post by phunky_fresh)
I don't think that's bad. Although I know it's different for guys, I was a virgin until I was 27. Do you go anywhere to meet new people?
I don't go anywhere to meet people and I guess that's the problem here. Interacting socially has always been difficult. I have put myself out there the past like going to meetup events but I end up feeling like crap and isolated and unable to hold a conversation. I think if things don't improve in the next 2 years then it might just be time for the end.
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Friffinghell
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(Original post by jay2013)
Well my virginity is important to me so I guess it is important and is the is a big deal. Maybe I stats societal pressure and the negativity around being a older virgin.

I play video games and I enjoy games where I can shoot stuff like GTA 5, Call of Duty etc. I have no friends and I don't know to converse with people socially. Never have really. So broadening my social circle is difficult.

I don't know how to let go of past rejections if I've never been successful. Having some success would help offset the rejections. I guess some of the rejections cut deeper than others like the girl I fell in love with who married my former flatmate. That's when this really started. I was holed up in a hotel room last Saturday half drunk and Googling ways to end myself after learning my oldest friend was now engaged.



I don't go anywhere to meet people and I guess that's the problem here. Interacting socially has always been difficult. I have put myself out there the past like going to meetup events but I end up feeling like crap and isolated and unable to hold a conversation. I think if things don't improve in the next 2 years then it might just be time for the end.
Is your virginity important to you in that you are keeping it for someone special? Or has it just taken importance because you feel it's something you need to deal with?

Ever tried tabletop gaming? Lots of my gamer friends have branched out their RL social circles via MTG... or you can't say no to a good game of cards against humanity! Or the various Comic-cons that are throughout the country.

I think you know that isn't a healthy response to finding out somebody was engaged. You need a healthier outlook on the whole thing.

What are you going to do to meet new people in real life?
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jay2013
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(Original post by Friffinghell)
Is your virginity important to you in that you are keeping it for someone special? Or has it just taken importance because you feel it's something you need to deal with?

Ever tried tabletop gaming? Lots of my gamer friends have branched out their RL social circles via MTG... or you can't say no to a good game of cards against humanity! Or the various Comic-cons that are throughout the country.

I think you know that isn't a healthy response to finding out somebody was engaged. You need a healthier outlook on the whole thing.

What are you going to do to meet new people in real life?
It's important because I'm sexually frustrated. I'm not saving myself but I don't want to be less experienced than a future partner. We all have needs afterall.

Never heard of tabletop gaming so I will check it out. But the fundamental issue still remains as it is incredibly difficult to interact with people especially women in a social context.

No its not but everyone I know is getting engaged and married or starting families. It's difficult to have a healthier outlook when you've never had any success in dating/relationships. It's difficult not to feel jealous and envious of other people's happiness and upset about the fact that I'm in this situation primarily through no fault of my own especially in light of the medical conditions I've made and still have.

I don't know what I'm going to do to meet new people in real life. Even if I do meet new people in real life my inability to converse socially and inability to speak clearly and properly is going to be an issue and I'll just come across as shy which is not attractive to women generally. There are certain words I can't say properly so I'm continually thinking of similar words in my head like a thesaurus or another way you say things as I talk so the other person can understand my point.
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Friffinghell
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(Original post by jay2013)
It's important because I'm sexually frustrated. I'm not saving myself but I don't want to be less experienced than a future partner. We all have needs afterall.

Never heard of tabletop gaming so I will check it out. But the fundamental issue still remains as it is incredibly difficult to interact with people especially women in a social context.

No its not but everyone I know is getting engaged and married or starting families. It's difficult to have a healthier outlook when you've never had any success in dating/relationships. It's difficult not to feel jealous and envious of other people's happiness and upset about the fact that I'm in this situation primarily through no fault of my own especially in light of the medical conditions I've made and still have.

I don't know what I'm going to do to meet new people in real life. Even if I do meet new people in real life my inability to converse socially and inability to speak clearly and properly is going to be an issue and I'll just come across as shy which is not attractive to women generally. There are certain words I can't say properly so I'm continually thinking of similar words in my head like a thesaurus or another way you say things as I talk so the other person can understand my point.
The great thing about gaming- is that you can invest in the game and the social side develops throughout the game. Same as meeting folk online that you play COD with often.

People might have picked on you when you were young for a speech impediment- but it's not something that mature adults do. It's just part of you and what makes you an individual. Embrace it.

We're all different and have our quirks that we dislike about ourselves. But sometimes the things we dislike about ourselves are actually the things that other people find endearing.

Social and romantic relationships can and will happen for you- but only if you get out there. I'd really recommend looking up your local tabletop gaming groups, we've also got a pinball group locally which is a nerdy league of joy.
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jay2013
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I missed your comment. Yes I think that's true. This can all be traced back to me finding out my former flatmate was engaged to the girl I feel in love with. I don't know how you let that go because I know he said bad things about me behind my back to her. I've seen photos of their wedding day on Facebook as well which hasn't helped.
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