The Student Room Group

I'm so fed up of my housemates at uni leaving me out and isolating me :( :(

Anon as people know me here.

To cut a long story short, I moved into uni over 2 months ago now. Theres 3 girls and me. One of the girls is never there shes always out. The other two seem to be very good friends. They have each others numbers and facebooks and never ever have asked for mine, i added them on facebook but they've never made comments or whatever. i looked on their 'walls' and they send each other messages. they also leave messages on fridge to each other and i tried to join in but they ignore my messages and reply to the other persons :frown:. they also go out without me, to the pub, into town shopping anything and never ask me. they talk about it really loud outside my door and stuff and i think here we go again im getting left out once more. they even leave messages on each others doors asking if they wanna go out somewhere where i can see, they dont try to hide it. i was in the kitchen cooking and they both came in, i said oh ur going out, n one of them was like ''yea'' and i asked where and the other one said ''to a party'' really blatent and didnt even sound guilty that they hadnt asked me. ive never done anything wrong i helped them both settle into a new environment and walked them to shops and gave them advice (they are international).

im just sick of feeling isolated all the time, i feel awkward and stuff, i dont know what ive done :frown: :frown:

Reply 1

have you tried inviting them out somewhere with you?

Reply 2

Some people are friends, some people aren't? Can't really see a big issue here. Just be friends with other people...

Reply 3

You've done nothing wrong, it seems to me as if these girls just don't want to be your friend at all. For what reason I have no clue but don't let it bother you too much. After all there's more people out there right?

You sound like a really nice person so I'm sure you can make friends elsewhere.

Reply 4

If people know you on here, why have you filled your post with so much intricate detail that it'd be trivial to guess your identity?

Reply 5

There are a number of things that you could do. You could sit down and talk to them honestly and openly about how you are feeling. There is a chance that they aren't doing this on purpose and just aren't thinking. If you really don't feel that you can do this then you could as has already been suggested ask them if they want to do something with you. The final option is that you could go and meet some new people and go and hang out with them.

What ever happens you can't leave things the way that they are if you are unhappy.

Reply 6

if they're already friends with each other maybe they're not too keen on making new friends, in case they start to grow apart from each other.
hmm, awkward situation

Reply 7

You say they are both international. Are they from the same country, because perhaps that gives them more of a bond with each other than with you. I agree that their behaviour is very unfriendly, and sadly all you can do is get out there and meet people who want to make a new friend, and being the first term of uni, there will be many. At the end of the day it sounds like it's their loss. If it's really getting you down then maybe you want to consider applying to move to new accomodation, where you could be put with nicer housemates.

Reply 8

well..... when you lived at home.......... did you do absolutely everything with your family?

People spend time with different people...... go out with other friends.

Reply 9

Maybe they just don't want to be your friend. They aren't actually doing anything wrong, and they don't have to invite you to other people's parties. In fact, it would be quite rude of them to bring their own guests to a party someone else is holding.

Unfortunately, it looks like they arent interested. Try and find some friends on your course, or in societies?

Reply 10

Joanna May
Maybe they just don't want to be your friend. They aren't actually doing anything wrong, and they don't have to invite you to other people's parties. In fact, it would be quite rude of them to bring their own guests to a party someone else is holding.

Unfortunately, it looks like they arent interested. Try and find some friends on your course, or in societies?


most people searching for friends in societies are kinda.... not worth knowing.

Just go out more.

Reply 11

they are both from different countries ones european ones american. i of course have some other friends on my course etc just i think its a bit mean to leave me out. ive invited them out before and they say 'i cant be bothered'. i even invite them out when i go out with my friends on my course just to be polite. i was there way before one of the other girls and the girl who moved in at the same time as me didnt really bother with me then :frown:

Reply 12

I am the OP btw

Reply 13

do you know what. Sabotage their things get them back and be a real B**** and then they will start talking

Reply 14

The-Lennon
why did you move in with them?


Because I'm a 1st year so got put with them

Reply 15

Sorry to wander off topic, but how comes you're anon 1 and 2? :s-smilie::

Reply 16

Angrybanana
Sorry to wander off topic, but how comes you're anon 1 and 2? :s-smilie::


because i logged onto my old computer and it had my old username saved

Reply 17

Don't worry about it. There's never a guarantee that the people you get put with are welcoming.

My flatmates this year are probably the best i've had, we all get along. Even then i naturally gravitate to one of the 3. i've rarely been out with the other 2 so far but despite that we all chat and get on, even if we end up doing different things.

That being said last year i was in in a flat of 7 and basically none of us did anything together. I just ended up having to make friends elsewhere.

Reply 18

Just don't bother with them. Simple really, if they don;t want to be friends with you their loss not yours.