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    how do i delete this
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    It's very well written, but to me... it seems a little pretentious, like you're trying too hard.

    A cursory reading of R.G Collingwood's 'The Principals of Art' has improved my understanding of this; I tend to agree with his suggestion that the 'Artist Proper' is one that strives to convey not a 'thing of a certain kind' but a 'certain thing'; that is to say that successful Art is the strive to describe a specific yet incomprehensible feeling and not simply a 'category' of feeling, such as love, hate or envy.

    To me, the part I've copied seems a little excessive. While I can't see any problem with including it, it seems to go on a little bit too long, and in too much depth. I think it would be space better used discussing what you want to learn, more than what you already know...

    Just my opinion I think it's pretty sound though, generally.
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    do unis prefer a more friendly style or a sophisicated serious one with lots of difficult vocabularies?
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    (Original post by CKS)
    do unis prefer a more friendly style or a sophisicated serious one with lots of difficult vocabularies?
    They want to see you. so if you're very articulate just write as you'd talk. just don't be too pretentious
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    (Original post by Juxtapiped)
    I have tried this in the Personal Statement forum but no one has replied, so I hope you don't mind if it here, and ask for any opinions. General comments would be great!


    As yet my academic studies have failed to satisfy my ever-increasing passion for Philosophy, and in studying such a subject at university I hope to expand upon my self-taught knowledge of its fundamentals. Not only do I relish the study of previous Philosophers' work, particularly that of R.G Collingwood and Bertrand Russell but I also dream of one day having the capacity to compete with such intellects and put forward my own philosophy; an opportunity that will no doubt arise throughout the degree course.

    I feel that my experiences both outside and within school reflect my interest in Philosophy and specifically in the study of Aesthetics; the nature and basis of judgements concerning beauty and artistic expression. For over two years I have acquired a considerable passion for Digital Artwork and Photography; learning to appreciate the nature of expression and what constitutes a successful artistic result. A cursory reading of R.G Collingwood's 'The Principals of Art' has improved my understanding of this; I tend to agree with his suggestion that the 'Artist Proper' is one that strives to convey not a 'thing of a certain kind' but a 'certain thing'; that is to say that successful Art is the strive to describe a specific yet incomprehensible feeling and not simply a 'category' of feeling, such as love, hate or envy.
    I have pursued my interest for Digital Artwork and Photography in the form of Work Experience and was once commissioned locally to direct a short film alongside other pupils expressing the importance of learning a foreign language within schools. I have also worked briefly alongside a Graphic Design company assisting in a photo shoot and have created the artwork surrounding a local drugs awareness presentation. Although such experiences have taught me invaluable skills and improved my awareness of artistic expression within industry, they have also made me realise that I much prefer to debate the theory; my passion lies in the philosophy and analysis - not so much the practice.
    During what was a particularly productive period of work experience in a law firm I was encouraged to rigorously construct logical arguments for some of the most seemingly abstract and confusing cases; although I thoroughly enjoyed this challenge I discovered that this was the only source of gratification for me in the law profession. Its philosophy, I feel, is indeed greatly flawed if the intention is concerned more with subjectively suiting a client's interests than in objectively discovering absolute truth.
    Aside Philosophy, my creative interests have led me to consider the work of the Abstract Expressionist Jackson Pollock, whose random and often violent application of paint questions the purport of Art; whether true artistic beauty is to be found in meticulous craftsmanship or relentless attempts to convey inexplicable emotion. Indeed I am attempting to have my artwork, which resembles and is inspired by that of Pollock, exhibited in local galleries and thus far have succeeded in displaying the majority of it on the Internet. Although academia is my chief source of gratification, I thoroughly enjoy Racquet Sports and play tennis as regularly as the weather permits, whilst I have also played Football both as representing a local club and my own school; this surely being a demonstration of my ability to reconcile education and leisure; not that the two don't occasionally coincide. Having recently acquired a part-time cleaning job in my school's art department I am now facing strenuous demands on my time management, but with the efficient organisational skills that my teachers, and peers, attribute to me this has proved to be of no detriment to my academic studies.

    Of all my productive experiences be they in the work place, or the art industry I have enjoyed only specific aspects of each; all being aspects that amalgamate to form the study of Philosophy, and so by logical deduction, this is ultimately the subject to which I am entirely dedicated.
    btw people will copy your this if you put it here, in fact, i might copy abit
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    (Original post by hihihihi)
    They want to see you. so if you're very articulate just write as you'd talk. just don't be too pretentious
    but thatd be too casual if i write as i#d talk
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    not necessarily linking to this what additional awards are you putting in together with your gcses results etc eg piano exams...e.tc
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    WAAAAY too poncy. Try to sound friendly, clear and relaxed. Use *simple words* rather than *complicated vocabulary*...the person reading it will react better to you if they don't have to put effort intp deciphering the meanings of unusual words.
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    show us abit of your ps so we know what you mean
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    (Original post by CKS)
    show us abit of your ps so we know what you mean
    Stop trying to copy other peoples PSs!
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    (Original post by Aimée123)
    Stop trying to copy other peoples PSs!
    shush what is your ps like by the way
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    (Original post by CKS)
    shush what is your ps like by the way
    Lol :rolleyes:
 
 
 
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