Anonymous for obvious personal reasons.
My father was - and I shamefully admit it - an addictive gambler. Because of this I think my mother began to formulate the idea that lie was revolved around money. She is quite close minded women my mum, and the uneducated persona of my father does not help with our influence over us.
I have 2 brothers and 1 sister. My elder brother is now of a very successful job in his internship. My mother was ecstatic when he secured his placement and it is looking as though my sister is following the same route.
I am now in my AS year and very troubled. My mother has - from when I was of a very young age - influenced my mind into becoming a lawyer, purely for the money. However, coming towards the start of my AS year, I began to question this unquestioned motive for life. Money.
I began to see the unnecessary use for money. The greater things. No, not god - I'm an atheist - but the nature and life around us. Surely this is what life is about. This is when I came to the conclusion of becoming a teacher, to help rather than for the money.
However, when revealing this realisation to my family, they each reacted the same way, best paraphrased like this:
"What?! You're completely stupid! Money's everything! Why don't you just go and smell the flowers you hippy! That'll get you a lot of food!"
I am however sticking firm to my belief - bear in mind that I the capability to become a lawyer, my grades are sufficient enough and I'm quite an upbeat person. However, my family members one by one are becoming for ridiculing and distant, even rude towards me.
I really feel as though I can't live here anymore.
They cannot be talked to. They will not hear me out. They are always focused on money.
I've tried talking to various people.
My teacher's say "speak to your parents" you see the flaw in that. When I ask them to speak on be-half of me, they come back saying "they just want the best for you". In other words, they're useless.
Social services are not an option. I was in their care for a month a few years back when my father broke my arm after one of his rages - he became better after his therapy. They were horrible. They didn't care. They were equivalent to my family.
There is no-one I can talk to.
I've finally come to the conclusion that I will run away.
Not this month. But near Christmas. Just so I have time to prepare.
Perhaps I want to dissuade we from this course of action, or I just want to hear your views, or I just want to get this load off my chest, this load which I can tell no-one.
This is a deep personal matter to me. My grief has already taken the form of teardrops, so please, be completely serious.
Thank you for your time.