What's my problem?

[Please keep anon or delete as people i know use this].

Basically, every time i start to get close to somebody of the opposite sex, i get uncomfortable and make excuses not to see them.

I love the flirting part, when you first get to know somebody, and the talks online about how you like each other and such, but then when it comes to one to one contact with them, e.g. the cinema, i find myself making excuses not to go no matter how much i tell myself not to!
This had ruined at least 3 of my relationships, and i don't know how to stop being like this, it's really starting to get to me. When i'm drunk i'm fine, it's when i'm sober that i'm like this.

Can anyone suggest why i'm like this/how to stop being like this?

I'm female, by the way.

Reply 1

username47781

Maybe you like your own freedom more than anything, did you have any bad experience in the past?

Reply 2

Spudder

I know what you mean, but probably not to that extreme. I got messed about a couple of times, some now I'm a little wary all the time. My advice is to just jump in at the deep end, and if you can't physically do that, you could always have a couple before going out; loosen yourself up.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Rock Fan

Maybe you like your own freedom more than anything, did you have any bad experience in the past?

A couple of lads that i have been with in the past have ended up flirting/being in a long term relationship with one of my ex best friends. But mostly the problem started before that.
I am a very shy person. Maybe it's that i feel stupid in front of somebody that i know fancies me, incase i act wrong or do something silly, or they don't like the way i kiss or something.

Reply 4

Snoofles

I kinda had that once....
It was really because it just felt weird that I was with someone new so soon after my last relationship, and it just felt like I was cheating, even though my last relationship was over.

So it might be something to do with it being morally 'wrong' for u to go anywhere with this guy - maybe you know someone else likes him more, or you know some dodgy info about him etc.

So I suppose there could be loadsa reasons - youve just gotta be honest with yourself. I kept telling myself I was over the ex, but I wasnt and it only made things more difficult with the new guy.

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