Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    As a kid I couldn't wait to get out of school,
    As a 20 year old, everything is falling apart.

    As a teen I knew where I wanted to study, what I wanted to study and even where I wanted to stay my first year.
    I got into my first choice, in the course that I wanted, I even got into the accommodation I wanted.
    I was at a party earlier in the year looking around the room and I realised this is exactly what I imagined at 14. But I was not as happy as I should have been.

    I am not happy, I have not been happy for a long time.

    I have 3 exams to repeat in a course I have little to no interest in,
    I have not talked to my college friends since leaving college, and I have grown apart from my old friends.
    The girl I was seeing for the past while has been ignoring me recently.
    and I'm working over the summer for 10 hours a day in a horrible manual labour job which leaves me with a constant sore back and pulled muscles.

    I don't know what to do, I do not want to go back and start college again next year as a first year being 21. I also do not want to be home with my parents for a full year, I could not stick that.
    But I do not like my degree, I feel sick thinking about it.

    I was seen as being gifted as a child, so people around me have held high expectations. I have high expectations for myself and right now I'm at rock bottom.
    I feel sick thinking about it, I just want to stay in bed, I can't bring myself to study, but I could not bare to stay at home next year. I am lost.

    I don't know what to do with myself, I have no plan A, no plan B, no plan never mind a backup plan.
    I just feel physically sick thinking about it because no matter how I approach it I had nothing going for me.

    What should I do, where do I start?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Have you thought perhaps you should see your GP? You sound a little depressed to me.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I'll start with your happiness - you are not happy with your course this is affecting your motivation etc.
    Try to see if the course you're doing will allow you to enter a postgraduate degree you have more interest in or maybe transfer into something else, maybe do work experience - be active.
    Implement discipline, a lot of high achievers thrive via having routines.
    Read A LOT, it seems you're lacking in inspiration, maybe when you were younger the thought of going to a specific uni and doing X degree really motivated you to study - now you need to find the next big thing. Look at what others are doing, see if you can get any ideas from them. Maybe you have a job in mind?

    It's not easy but this is life, I felt like I couldn't ignore your thread because I related to it a lot. I've got the grades, experience etc. but didn't get into medicine (didn't even get an interview) and I've basically been moping around for the past few months, I'm pretty sure I've messed up my exams as well. It gets worse when I think about all the people who got in first time, they had parents who could really guide them etc.
    Yet here I am with literally nothing to look forward to, I too used to be that bright kid who was just academically perfect but as human beings we are all flawed and yeah you may have felt invincible when you got top marks but marks don't define you.

    You are full of so much potiential, you're not the only one in this situation I know of people who started uni at 21 and late 40s because they couldn't pinpoint what they wanted to do. You still have time to change course or go in a different direction completely.

    Don't do things to impress other people, you won't be happy.
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Crumpet1)
    Have you thought perhaps you should see your GP? You sound a little depressed to me.
    thats not depression
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nuba123)
    I'll start with your happiness - you are not happy with your course this is affecting your motivation etc.
    Try to see if the course you're doing will allow you to enter a postgraduate degree you have more interest in or maybe transfer into something else, maybe do work experience - be active.
    Implement discipline, a lot of high achievers thrive via having routines.
    Read A LOT, it seems you're lacking in inspiration, maybe when you were younger the thought of going to a specific uni and doing X degree really motivated you to study - now you need to find the next big thing. Look at what others are doing, see if you can get any ideas from them. Maybe you have a job in mind?

    It's not easy but this is life, I felt like I couldn't ignore your thread because I related to it a lot. I've got the grades, experience etc. but didn't get into medicine (didn't even get an interview) and I've basically been moping around for the past few months, I'm pretty sure I've messed up my exams as well. It gets worse when I think about all the people who got in first time, they had parents who could really guide them etc.
    Yet here I am with literally nothing to look forward to, I too used to be that bright kid who was just academically perfect but as human beings we are all flawed and yeah you may have felt invincible when you got top marks but marks don't define you.

    You are full of so much potiential, you're not the only one in this situation I know of people who started uni at 21 and late 40s because they couldn't pinpoint what they wanted to do. You still have time to change course or go in a different direction completely.

    Don't do things to impress other people, you won't be happy.
    The point of me staying in this course is to move into a postgraduate. (The sole area of the course I actually enjoy, it's basically the masters for that speciality) but I will need to get through the repeats, do well throughout second year and in my third and final year all while maintaining high enough grades to get a place in the post grad (first year does not count thankfully).

    I do have a job in mind actually, I want to be self employed, I want to be an entrepreneur I want to build a business.

    See thats the thing, I did not work in school, I got in the top 5 in my school all while being shouted at for wasting time, for not paying attention etc, I did not enjoy school, that's why I wanted to get out. I wanted to study medicine but I could not deal with that rigorous study regime.
    I chose this course because it was broad, I was good at it in school, I found it somewhat interesting and I showed interest in it before.

    My parents went ape **** saying I was wasting everyones time.. to be honest I studied days before my exams. I always had something more interesting to look at.
    I read a lot, not so many novels but articles, reviews, guides, blog posts, things of that nature.
    I never switch off, I read about mens fashion, design, silversmithing, I look for certain clothes that are cheap which I could make a profit on. I look into trading stocks, the background behind starting a business. Business analytics, how it works, how it's used.. countless things interest me..

    The one area of my degree (which I should have said is general business) that actually interests me is Business Information Systems, basically why some businesses fail and why some succeed, because there is a lot more to a business than just the product. I loved those lectures because they were unconventional, I actually felt like I was learning something valuable. Something I could not find in any old book. Real world knowledge. But that was just a section of the course, the hardest section according to everyone else, but I like it because it was a study of what makes entrepreneurs very rich, or a failure..

    But in all honesty people who do not know what they really want to do until they are much older have less time to work towards that, I mean it's a bit late realising you want to be a cardiothoracic surgeon at the ripe age of 50...

    I have high expectations for myself, I know I should be doing something more than just wasting time.. but I'm stuck, I don't know what to do..
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I am going through the exact same thing as you're describing and I'll help you with what I am doing right now.

    I too have been thinking of changing universities and dropping out but then that will mean my future won't be as good as i want it to be.
    i came here to do one thing and i will not quit like a p***y no matter how much i will struggle. i cringe every time i think about my degree. however, i've done so much research on this to find out i can go into different areas with it which made me a bit happy, so i decided to suffer one more year and then be glad i stayed and accomplished something.
    believe me just pull through it, because at the end of it you will look back and think, 'holy f**k, i did it'. i reckon things will start to get better then because you actually accomplished something and you have a back up with anything you want do in life. i want to be self employed too and i won't be afraid to do so because i will have a back up degree if all else fails.

    be glad you have a job, some people would do anything to be in your position.
    don't worry about friends and women, i had those fall apart too and learn where you went wrong. people leaving you actually will help you mature up, like i feel it did to me. more people will come, trust me.

    exercising helps me a lot as well as something that just you know makes you happy every time you do it. surround yourself with positiveness. easier said than done but i'm working on it too and in time things will get better.

    start planning if you really want this degree. think about your career options. if you drop out think about the loan you have to pay back. would you want to do a 10 hour hard labor job for the rest of your life?

    call your girlfriend ask her what is happening, if not then forget it. life is too short to worry about petty little things. you do you.

    if you need someone don't hesitate to message me
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    are you studying computer science?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SeanLaurentParis)
    As a kid I couldn't wait to get out of school,
    As a 20 year old, everything is falling apart.

    As a teen I knew where I wanted to study, what I wanted to study and even where I wanted to stay my first year.
    I got into my first choice, in the course that I wanted, I even got into the accommodation I wanted.
    I was at a party earlier in the year looking around the room and I realised this is exactly what I imagined at 14. But I was not as happy as I should have been.

    I am not happy, I have not been happy for a long time.

    I have 3 exams to repeat in a course I have little to no interest in,
    I have not talked to my college friends since leaving college, and I have grown apart from my old friends.
    The girl I was seeing for the past while has been ignoring me recently.
    and I'm working over the summer for 10 hours a day in a horrible manual labour job which leaves me with a constant sore back and pulled muscles.

    I don't know what to do, I do not want to go back and start college again next year as a first year being 21. I also do not want to be home with my parents for a full year, I could not stick that.
    But I do not like my degree, I feel sick thinking about it.

    I was seen as being gifted as a child, so people around me have held high expectations. I have high expectations for myself and right now I'm at rock bottom.
    I feel sick thinking about it, I just want to stay in bed, I can't bring myself to study, but I could not bare to stay at home next year. I am lost.

    I don't know what to do with myself, I have no plan A, no plan B, no plan never mind a backup plan.
    I just feel physically sick thinking about it because no matter how I approach it I had nothing going for me.

    What should I do, where do I start?
    I feel sad for you reading this. If you're really hating your course that much, you ought to drop out. It doesn't matter what your parents want / what society expects you to do, this is YOUR life. It's not feasible for you to sustain study for a further 2 years if you despise your course so much to the point it's making you physically ill. Your physical and mental wellbeing is of far more importance than the degree you're completing.

    A degree is not the be all and end all, especially if you're doing a business degree. Have you looked into internships? Apprenticeships? I feel as though they'd suit you far more, it seems as though academia just isn't fitted to you
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by storm95)
    I am going through the exact same thing as you're describing and I'll help you with what I am doing right now.

    I too have been thinking of changing universities and dropping out but then that will mean my future won't be as good as i want it to be.
    i came here to do one thing and i will not quit like a p***y no matter how much i will struggle. i cringe every time i think about my degree. however, i've done so much research on this to find out i can go into different areas with it which made me a bit happy, so i decided to suffer one more year and then be glad i stayed and accomplished something.
    believe me just pull through it, because at the end of it you will look back and think, 'holy f**k, i did it'. i reckon things will start to get better then because you actually accomplished something and you have a back up with anything you want do in life. i want to be self employed too and i won't be afraid to do so because i will have a back up degree if all else fails.

    be glad you have a job, some people would do anything to be in your position.
    don't worry about friends and women, i had those fall apart too and learn where you went wrong. people leaving you actually will help you mature up, like i feel it did to me. more people will come, trust me.

    exercising helps me a lot as well as something that just you know makes you happy every time you do it. surround yourself with positiveness. easier said than done but i'm working on it too and in time things will get better.

    start planning if you really want this degree. think about your career options. if you drop out think about the loan you have to pay back. would you want to do a 10 hour hard labor job for the rest of your life?

    call your girlfriend ask her what is happening, if not then forget it. life is too short to worry about petty little things. you do you.

    if you need someone don't hesitate to message me
    Thanks for the reply.
    See I'm looking at it as I need to do very well to get into a masters program for the area I enjoy.
    That means enduring a year of 'general' business, I dislike the maths, I'm not terrible at it. I failed because i did not do any continuous assessment all year. The tutors at the revision course were surprised I failed..
    But I don't know if I can keep myself engaged to get to the end with a strong degree.

    I know for a fact that I do not want to work for someone else for any longer than I have to to get started, the only exception would be working high up in a start up (stock options, building something etc..) but I want to be self employed.

    There are numerous vacancies at this factory because the pay is so poor and the work is so hard, they cannot get enough people to work for them, 60% of the staff are students working for the summer, a huge portion of the staff have left in the past number of months. I have friends looking for work who will not work there..

    I've never been the best person at making new friends, I'm fine one on one but in groups I over think everything, I freeze up.. I know others will come but its very hard having nothing in common with your old friends and never seeing my friends from college, even though we are not that close..

    We were never dating, the whole ordeal is stupid.. I think she has been angry because she thought I was just messing her around, but I was just stupid and between being an idiot and going insane it's hard to make time for others, and even when I did try to get in contact she did not reply.. the only contact we've had was her liking a video I posted to instagram.

    But thats besides the point.. I have always been looking for that something to click, where I can finally dig in and actually create something of value, finally feel like I'm useful, not just another pair of hands on deck..I just feel like I'm slowly failing out of college with plenty of ambition but no where to go with it..
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sacred Ground)
    I feel sad for you reading this. If you're really hating your course that much, you ought to drop out. It doesn't matter what your parents want / what society expects you to do, this is YOUR life. It's not feasible for you to sustain study for a further 2 years if you despise your course so much to the point it's making you physically ill. Your physical and mental wellbeing is of far more importance than the degree you're completing.

    A degree is not the be all and end all, especially if you're doing a business degree. Have you looked into internships? Apprenticeships? I feel as though they'd suit you far more, it seems as though academia just isn't fitted to you
    I know it's not really feasible.. but I hated stats this final semester, I got 0% out of a possible 30% for continuous assessment towards my final grade. I went into the exam already 30% down and I passed..
    I did very well despite no real work in school, because it was one exam. I just studied the night before, but I blew off the CA of my course, because it really showed I was not interested.. that I was not enjoying what I was doing and while I could manage a final exam, a small exam every week was horrible..

    I looked into an apprenticeship, my teachers, career guidance etc basically said don't bother, go for a degree you've got the points necessary.. I am suited to academia in the way that I have strong retention abilities but i dislike the idiotic system of route learning, because you really do not learn, you just memorise..
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by storm95)
    are you studying computer science?
    Nope, general business, but I enjoy the BIS/IT side of my degree why?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Okay, so you have good reason to stay on the course and I'd recommend doing so, it's not the end of the world if you have to do repeats it's pretty normal. You're in a bit of a psychological rut so it's not like you can't do it - if you were top 5 then you've got what it takes. I know in the past you managed to do well despite not studying as much but maybe that's an area you need to change. Sometimes when we are stimulated the same way over and over again it stops having an effect. Ie in the past in the run up to exams your panic-studying was top-notch but maybe you were too relaxed - again discipline is essential in your case.
    I think you have what it takes, you're intelligent and know what you want but a lack of inspiration and confusion is holding you back.
    I'd say it's worth sticking to your course even it's just for that one module because an undergrad degree isn't forever, I know this isn't what you may have wanted to hear but I'm just trying to be realistic.
    Ignore all the people telling you you're wasting time and just giving you grief, I get that a lot but it's best to just ignore it - they think they know what it's like and are trying to push you but it can end up having the opposite effect.
    I'm glad there is something you enjoy in your course because it shows you're not completely disinterested in the entire course. Especially since you want to have a career in that sector.
    However, I'm going to try and be unbiased here and be fair to you. There are lots of people who have 1st class degrees in business yet can't run a business and real life and plenty of people of who don't have degrees and are running successful businesses. If you're looking for something to in the corporate world (high end stuff) then stick with it but if you're looking into a smaller business then I would say it's different.
    Ultimately you dont have to know what to do right now, I know you don't want to leave it too late but I don't think you're wasting time. You're working, you're at uni etc. You're a very busy guy in my opinion.
    It can be harder to pursue a career where your family and people around you don't see it as being good enough for you, but this is your life - I think you should follow through, complete the course - with better study plans implemented- and just go from there.
    (Original post by SeanLaurentParis)
    The point of me staying in this course is to move into a postgraduate. (The sole area of the course I actually enjoy, it's basically the masters for that speciality) but I will need to get through the repeats, do well throughout second year and in my third and final year all while maintaining high enough grades to get a place in the post grad (first year does not count thankfully).

    I do have a job in mind actually, I want to be self employed, I want to be an entrepreneur I want to build a business.

    See thats the thing, I did not work in school, I got in the top 5 in my school all while being shouted at for wasting time, for not paying attention etc, I did not enjoy school, that's why I wanted to get out. I wanted to study medicine but I could not deal with that rigorous study regime.
    I chose this course because it was broad, I was good at it in school, I found it somewhat interesting and I showed interest in it before.

    My parents went ape **** saying I was wasting everyones time.. to be honest I studied days before my exams. I always had something more interesting to look at.
    I read a lot, not so many novels but articles, reviews, guides, blog posts, things of that nature.
    I never switch off, I read about mens fashion, design, silversmithing, I look for certain clothes that are cheap which I could make a profit on. I look into trading stocks, the background behind starting a business. Business analytics, how it works, how it's used.. countless things interest me..

    The one area of my degree (which I should have said is general business) that actually interests me is Business Information Systems, basically why some businesses fail and why some succeed, because there is a lot more to a business than just the product. I loved those lectures because they were unconventional, I actually felt like I was learning something valuable. Something I could not find in any old book. Real world knowledge. But that was just a section of the course, the hardest section according to everyone else, but I like it because it was a study of what makes entrepreneurs very rich, or a failure..

    But in all honesty people who do not know what they really want to do until they are much older have less time to work towards that, I mean it's a bit late realising you want to be a cardiothoracic surgeon at the ripe age of 50...

    I have high expectations for myself, I know I should be doing something more than just wasting time.. but I'm stuck, I don't know what to do..
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
    Useful resources
    Bizarre things students have spent their loans onThings you should budget for at uni

    Sponsored features:

    Making money from your own website

    Need some cash?

    How to make money running your own website.

    Bianca Miller, runner-up on The Apprentice

    Handle your digital footprint

    What would an employer find out about you on Google? Find out how to take control.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.