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    Looking for a little advice,

    I am in my early 20s and have fancied one of my sister's friends from afar since I was a teenager... A crush I have never really grown out of.
    Recently since moving back home from University, I have ended up in being at the same events where this guy would be there. I have made myself known to him... now, and have engaged in conversations with him (which has taken a lot of strength to bury my shyness) so he knows who I am, I have added him on Facebook as well.

    He would not suspect that I am interested at all, he is a quiet person, so not the easiest to get to know, but that is part of the attraction for me, as he isn't your typical guy. He is insanely clever, which is attractive of course but also makes me even more scared as I know that I am not on the same level intellectually.
    I have no reason to believe that this guy is even attracted to me as we do not know each other well enough, and haven't picked up on any signs from him.
    I at first could manage to bury these feelings, but I recently found out that I would be moving to a new city very soon, and he is moving to the same one at the same time!

    I am becoming impatient with this situation. I have asked mutual friends for advice on what to do next, and they have said to message him when I am in the new city. I don't know him well enough to approach asking him to go on a date or have any occasion where I would possibly bump into him again. I have had my fingers burnt in the past from being too forward with guys, which has made me slightly anxious to put my heart on the line again.
    So now I am completely stuck with what to do, do I just live with how I am feeling and hope this goes away? Or will I forever be bumping into this guy that I have to suppress feelings for?! It is eating me up. Help!
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    (Original post by abbeycook1)
    Looking for a little advice,

    I am in my early 20s and have fancied one of my sister's friends from afar since I was a teenager... A crush I have never really grown out of.
    Recently since moving back home from University, I have ended up in being at the same events where this guy would be there. I have made myself known to him... now, and have engaged in conversations with him (which has taken a lot of strength to bury my shyness) so he knows who I am, I have added him on Facebook as well.

    He would not suspect that I am interested at all, he is a quiet person, so not the easiest to get to know, but that is part of the attraction for me, as he isn't your typical guy. He is insanely clever, which is attractive of course but also makes me even more scared as I know that I am not on the same level intellectually.
    I have no reason to believe that this guy is even attracted to me as we do not know each other well enough, and haven't picked up on any signs from him.
    I at first could manage to bury these feelings, but I recently found out that I would be moving to a new city very soon, and he is moving to the same one at the same time!

    I am becoming impatient with this situation. I have asked mutual friends for advice on what to do next, and they have said to message him when I am in the new city. I don't know him well enough to approach asking him to go on a date or have any occasion where I would possibly bump into him again. I have had my fingers burnt in the past from being too forward with guys, which has made me slightly anxious to put my heart on the line again.
    So now I am completely stuck with what to do, do I just live with how I am feeling and hope this goes away? Or will I forever be bumping into this guy that I have to suppress feelings for?! It is eating me up. Help!
    There's nothing wrong with asking to hang out with him. Does he know that you're moving city? If not then it would be good to make that known to him in conversation, and then when he says "oh I'm moving there too!" or something along those lines, you could ask to have a coffee together so you can catch up.

    I don't think you should drop it, he probably doesn't know you like him. But texting alone won't get you anywhere, you should arrange to meet when you're in the new city.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    There's nothing wrong with asking to hang out with him. Does he know that you're moving city? If not then it would be good to make that known to him in conversation, and then when he says "oh I'm moving there too!" or something along those lines, you could ask to have a coffee together so you can catch up.

    I don't think you should drop it, he probably doesn't know you like him. But texting alone won't get you anywhere, you should arrange to meet when you're in the new city.
    He knows that I will be moving to the same city as him. Does it seem really forward if I try and arrange to meet up with him when I am there? I don't want to come across too eager, fear he may be the type to find that unattractive.
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    (Original post by abbeycook1)
    He knows that I will be moving to the same city as him. Does it seem really forward if I try and arrange to meet up with him when I am there? I don't want to come across too eager, fear he may be the type to find that unattractive.
    So it's either you ask to meet up with him or you don't. What if he likes you but he's too shy to ask you out? You may as well take the lead..
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    (Original post by UWS)
    So it's either you ask to meet up with him or you don't. What if he likes you but he's too shy to ask you out? You may as well take the lead..
    Very true, got nothing to lose at the end of the day I guess. FIngers crossed for me!
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    (Original post by abbeycook1)
    Looking for a little advice,

    I am in my early 20s and have fancied one of my sister's friends from afar since I was a teenager... A crush I have never really grown out of.
    Recently since moving back home from University, I have ended up in being at the same events where this guy would be there. I have made myself known to him... now, and have engaged in conversations with him (which has taken a lot of strength to bury my shyness) so he knows who I am, I have added him on Facebook as well.

    He would not suspect that I am interested at all, he is a quiet person, so not the easiest to get to know, but that is part of the attraction for me, as he isn't your typical guy. He is insanely clever, which is attractive of course but also makes me even more scared as I know that I am not on the same level intellectually.
    I have no reason to believe that this guy is even attracted to me as we do not know each other well enough, and haven't picked up on any signs from him.
    I at first could manage to bury these feelings, but I recently found out that I would be moving to a new city very soon, and he is moving to the same one at the same time!

    I am becoming impatient with this situation. I have asked mutual friends for advice on what to do next, and they have said to message him when I am in the new city. I don't know him well enough to approach asking him to go on a date or have any occasion where I would possibly bump into him again. I have had my fingers burnt in the past from being too forward with guys, which has made me slightly anxious to put my heart on the line again.
    So now I am completely stuck with what to do, do I just live with how I am feeling and hope this goes away? Or will I forever be bumping into this guy that I have to suppress feelings for?! It is eating me up. Help!
    Wow, your situation mirrors mine :laugh: - I made a post on here a while back about being too shy to chat to a guy, and now we've got chatting but I don't feel like I know him well enough to approach him and ask him out (I worry it would be incredibly awkward if I was rejected - major fear factor - as we're sort of work colleagues and I'd see him every day and be mortified lol)

    Ironically though I would give the same advice as UWS - you've got noting to lose and everything to gain from taking the initiative and asking him to meetup sometime, so bite the bullet and go for it! For all you know he could feel the same way but also be too shy, and if you're getting along well and are friends on fb then I can't see a reason he would say no. What you may call forwardness others would call confidence to take the initiative, and confidence is one of the most attractive things in anyone.
    As for you both moving to the same city, surely this is the perfect chance as you'll have something in common to start a conversation which could lead to a meet up - I know if I was moving somewhere new I'd be thankful for a familiar face and want to meet up!
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    (Original post by oneflewovertcn)
    Wow, your situation mirrors mine :laugh: - I made a post on here a while back about being too shy to chat to a guy, and now we've got chatting but I don't feel like I know him well enough to approach him and ask him out (I worry it would be incredibly awkward if I was rejected - major fear factor - as we're sort of work colleagues and I'd see him every day and be mortified lol)

    Ironically though I would give the same advice as UWS - you've got noting to lose and everything to gain from taking the initiative and asking him to meetup sometime, so bite the bullet and go for it! For all you know he could feel the same way but also be too shy, and if you're getting along well and are friends on fb then I can't see a reason he would say no. What you may call forwardness others would call confidence to take the initiative, and confidence is one of the most attractive things in anyone.
    As for you both moving to the same city, surely this is the perfect chance as you'll have something in common to start a conversation which could lead to a meet up - I know if I was moving somewhere new I'd be thankful for a familiar face and want to meet up!
    It's good that you are able to see the guy you fancy most days, makes it easier to start conversations with him. So you can start building some form of relationship. I feel like these things are sensitive, and sometimes it's not always the best thing to go from 0 - 100 by asking them out, and it is best to take baby-steps. Not too small steps though, it is the worst thing not knowing. At the end of the day, it is better to know than to not know. I'm going to take your advice and message him when I get to the new city!
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    You're both just animated dust. In a few decades, none of it will matter.

    Hope this helps.
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    Message him. Risk it. You have nothing to lose.
 
 
 
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