Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Boyfriend issues Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hi guys please give me some honest advice.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, however the past couple of months have been hell. He's suffering from anxiety to the point where he wants space from me and is pushing me away by saying nasty comments and calling me names if I do the slightest thing wrong or don't give him enough space. We met up today and after a month apart he's told me he wants to break up and he isn't sure if he's still in love with me. He's worried this relationship is causing his anxiety. He's also said the main reason is us not being able to handle our arguments and if we were to stay together the arguments wouldn't change. After a long conversation I proposed the idea of staying on a break but instead of no contact, we meet up occasionally and message very occasionally only about positive things and nothing to do with anxiety or relationship issues. This way we are hoping to slowly rekindle our love and just enjoy being in each other's company again.
    I'm very jubious that he's only agreed to do this to make me happy. He's told me that if in a months time if his feelings haven't changed towards the situation it's over.
    I'm trying so hard to keep us together but I'm unsure if it's his anxiety pushing me away or if it's him or a bit of both. I love the bones him, he is my whole world. Am I wasting my time? Is it already over as his mind seems so sure he wants to end it? I'm just so unsure as to what to do and how to feel. I've been holding on for so long I just want us to be the old us once again. Thanks

    Edit: I already feel like I know his decision. I just want to try and show him that we can be happy through his anxiety as well as have time apart. I feel so so sad and keep getting panicky when I think about us breaking up. He really is the love of my life
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Honestly, I think you're just wasting your time.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    You could ask him to seek help and take a break whilst he is receiving help.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    3
    You need to accept it has run its course. I dont know him but it screams he wants out, so let him go. I think half the stuff he says is dubious, but he is angling for a way out.

    Why waste effort on someone who doesnt want to be with you? Sooner you are out then the sooner you cam find someone else who can make you happy. You should know when to call it quits, even if its a bit bumpy for a while. You wont get back what you had in the beginning because that is past. Let go.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    [QUOTE=999tigger;72756958]You need to accept it has run its course. I dont know him but it screams he wants out, so let him go. I think half the stuff he says is dubious, but he is angling for a way out.

    Thanks for your reply. Honestly I feel like I can't let him go because nothing major has happened, he's suffering with anxiety and I'm just worried this isn't really him talking - it's his anxiety trying to push me away. Time apart won't do us any good and I thought maybe we could just try and be happy together and not discuss our relationship or anything negative. I just feel like if I do this it means I've tried everything I possibly could to keep us together and by the end if he still wants out, I'll grant that and try my best to move on
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hj1622)
    Thanks for your reply. Honestly I feel like I can't let him go because nothing major has happened, he's suffering with anxiety and I'm just worried this isn't really him talking - it's his anxiety trying to push me away. Time apart won't do us any good and I thought maybe we could just try and be happy together and not discuss our relationship or anything negative. I just feel like if I do this it means I've tried everything I possibly could to keep us together and by the end if he still wants out, I'll grant that and try my best to move on
    I think it's healthier for both of you to have a clean break, he says he thinks that your problems with arguments won't change and he calls you names. Perhaps he isn't in a great mentality at the moment but staying in contact and only talking about positive things won't fix anything anyway, he's had a month to think about it so it's not a sudden decision.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    sounds like this is over... it's a nice idea to keep it positive but fi you can't talk abotu your relationship or his anxiety that's not a healthy relationship and what happens when that stuff comes back? it'll be back to square one... sounds like he's just in the wrong place for a relationship right now
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply
Updated: July 17, 2017
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
How are you feeling about your A-level results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.