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    I've just moved into a house for my second year at university with people I met the first year. There were originally three of us, then a girlfriend joined our tennancy. Great.

    My problem is the wasting of food. The couple makes gigatic meals and every night throws away a good three portions of perfectly fine food.

    Out of all of us I get the least student finance support and eat basic meals from scratch, while the two complain about money while being wasteful. Its really driving me crazy.

    We had a talk last night about it and they wont budge. I asked if they could keep leftovers for later instead of throwing it out and she justified it by saying how she has mental health problems to do with germs so thats a no. I asked if she could adjust her portions then and she said how she suffered from anorexia and so she will never finish a meal and how I would want her to be anorexic again?? She flipped out saying how I was trying to change her lifestyle and that she will not adjust her lifestyle for anyone.

    A friend who is staying with us joined in saying that it is their money and if they choose to use it this way it is fine. I'm talking three portions of food being wasted every dinner time..

    We talked about how we have been raised differently but I see that as no excuse for being so wasteful. I would eat the leftovers myself, but due to diatery requirements I cannot.

    I feel she is using her issues as excuses. The same happened when she wanted to get two rabbits. I was fine with it given the condition we could move in properly first and wait a few weeks. When the time came around for us to move in she said she needs them immedietely because she needs them to calm her anxiety and ptsd. Then was told that I had no say because they would not be mine and would not be in my way. Meanwhile the rabbits are ill a lot because we've had to move them several times while pesticide people did their job and pieces of hay are poping up everywhere.



    I really need advice about this. I can't blame her for having mental health problems but at this point I see them only as excuses. They seem to be her reason for everything. We also dont need more pests (ants) because of this and the waste feels like a kick in the dirt at the rest of us who cannot afford much.
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    It's bad of them to do so but at the end of the day it's their money, their food and doesn't really affect you so just let them do what they want.
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    I've just moved into a house for my second year at university with people I met the first year. There were originally three of us, then a girlfriend joined our tennancy. Great.

    My problem is the wasting of food. The couple makes gigatic meals and every night throws away a good three portions of perfectly fine food.

    Out of all of us I get the least student finance support and eat basic meals from scratch, while the two complain about money while being wasteful. Its really driving me crazy.

    We had a talk last night about it and they wont budge. I asked if they could keep leftovers for later instead of throwing it out and she justified it by saying how she has mental health problems to do with germs so thats a no. I asked if she could adjust her portions then and she said how she suffered from anorexia and so she will never finish a meal and how I would want her to be anorexic again?? She flipped out saying how I was trying to change her lifestyle and that she will not adjust her lifestyle for anyone.

    A friend who is staying with us joined in saying that it is their money and if they choose to use it this way it is fine. I'm talking three portions of food being wasted every dinner time..

    We talked about how we have been raised differently but I see that as no excuse for being so wasteful. I would eat the leftovers myself, but due to diatery requirements I cannot.

    I feel she is using her issues as excuses. The same happened when she wanted to get two rabbits. I was fine with it given the condition we could move in properly first and wait a few weeks. When the time came around for us to move in she said she needs them immedietely because she needs them to calm her anxiety and ptsd. Then was told that I had no say because they would not be mine and would not be in my way. Meanwhile the rabbits are ill a lot because we've had to move them several times while pesticide people did their job and pieces of hay are poping up everywhere.



    I really need advice about this. I can't blame her for having mental health problems but at this point I see them only as excuses. They seem to be her reason for everything. We also dont need more pests (ants) because of this and the waste feels like a kick in the dirt at the rest of us who cannot afford much.
    I think if you re still able to use communal areas and it isn't costing you anything with the food then you should look to get out of this tenancy whilst it's still early. Also mention to the landlord about pets as you want to be covered for deposit deductions
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I think if you re still able to use communal areas and it isn't costing you anything with the food then you should look to get out of this tenancy whilst it's still early. Also mention to the landlord about pets as you want to be covered for deposit deductions
    The pets are approved and deposite delt with though I would have wanted to move in peacefully and settle without the rabbits as an obsticle.

    The plates and wasted food is stacking up a bit in the kitchen, but my main concern is that whenever there is something we should all discuss she will blame her behaviour on yet another traumatic experience in her past and not be up for discussion or reasoning.
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    The pets are approved and deposite delt with though I would have wanted to move in peacefully and settle without the rabbits as an obsticle.

    The plates and wasted food is stacking up a bit in the kitchen, but my main concern is that whenever there is something we should all discuss she will blame her behaviour on yet another traumatic experience in her past and not be up for discussion or reasoning.
    I think unfortunately you won't be able to reason with her, it sounds like you ve tried to have a reasonable conversation and it hasn't worked. Most student homes have dirty sinks unfortunately you might have to do some cleaning damage control when you can so as not to lose any deposit
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I think unfortunately you won't be able to reason with her, it sounds like you ve tried to have a reasonable conversation and it hasn't worked. Most student homes have dirty sinks unfortunately you might have to do some cleaning damage control when you can so as not to lose any deposit
    Thank you for your advice!
    I wont be able to get out of this tennancy for another year. I'm afraid this might only be the start. What happens if she wont do her share of chores because of her mental health? Or refuses to pay rent because of her mental healh? Where is the line? If she wont have a discussion about basic food wastage and blames it on her mental health she has that excuse for everything. Because her boyfriend is involved its deviding the household already.
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    I've just moved into a house for my second year at university with people I met the first year. There were originally three of us, then a girlfriend joined our tennancy. Great.

    My problem is the wasting of food. The couple makes gigatic meals and every night throws away a good three portions of perfectly fine food.

    Out of all of us I get the least student finance support and eat basic meals from scratch, while the two complain about money while being wasteful. Its really driving me crazy.

    We had a talk last night about it and they wont budge. I asked if they could keep leftovers for later instead of throwing it out and she justified it by saying how she has mental health problems to do with germs so thats a no. I asked if she could adjust her portions then and she said how she suffered from anorexia and so she will never finish a meal and how I would want her to be anorexic again?? She flipped out saying how I was trying to change her lifestyle and that she will not adjust her lifestyle for anyone.

    A friend who is staying with us joined in saying that it is their money and if they choose to use it this way it is fine. I'm talking three portions of food being wasted every dinner time..

    We talked about how we have been raised differently but I see that as no excuse for being so wasteful. I would eat the leftovers myself, but due to diatery requirements I cannot.

    I feel she is using her issues as excuses. The same happened when she wanted to get two rabbits. I was fine with it given the condition we could move in properly first and wait a few weeks. When the time came around for us to move in she said she needs them immedietely because she needs them to calm her anxiety and ptsd. Then was told that I had no say because they would not be mine and would not be in my way. Meanwhile the rabbits are ill a lot because we've had to move them several times while pesticide people did their job and pieces of hay are poping up everywhere.



    I really need advice about this. I can't blame her for having mental health problems but at this point I see them only as excuses. They seem to be her reason for everything. We also dont need more pests (ants) because of this and the waste feels like a kick in the dirt at the rest of us who cannot afford much.
    So how does them wasting food have anything to do with you? That's their money, their food, they can do anything they want with it. Unfortunately you don't have the right to police their dietary habits, you also have no right to be bitter about what does not concern you. You're wasting too much energy on this, if I was you I would just leave it and focus on myself
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    (Original post by coolcucumber007)
    So how does them wasting food have anything to do with you? That's their money, their food, they can do anything they want with it. Unfortunately you don't have the right to police their dietary habits, you also have no right to be bitter about what does not concern you. You're wasting too much energy on this, if I was you I would just leave it and focus on myself
    It has to do with me because I live here also and we share utilities and bins. I stayed in halls with more people last year and we did in no way have this amount of waste. I do not want more of an ant problem on top of all this, mind you we also had a rat come visit, and I dont like food rotting in the house for two weeks at a time. I am having trouble fitting my small amount of food waste into the shared bin.

    I'm not policing them on what to eat or how much to eat, but to either plan right or eat it later doesnt seem unreasonable.

    Its just so easily avoidable I dont understand the big deal. Is there a reason for needing food waste?

    My intention was to live with the two I signed with and she added herself. When you live with new people everyone needs to adjust somehow. I accepted her rabbits, I even accepted she have them early because she needs them and now they are constatly ill because of it. I have adjusted for her and now she cannot make an adjustment herself?

    And most of all she is able to use her mental health to justify anything she wants now.
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    (Original post by AndrewSCO)
    It's bad of them to do so but at the end of the day it's their money, their food and doesn't really affect you so just let them do what they want.
    If it were someone living somewhere else, trust me, I really wouldn't care. No one would eat a lollipop in an orphanage, let alone drop it in front of them. And then complain how they do not have money? It just seems disrespectul to the rest of us.
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    It has to do with me because I live here also and we share utilities and bins. I stayed in halls with more people last year and we did in no way have this amount of waste. I do not want more of an ant problem on top of all this, mind you we also had a rat come visit, and I dont like food rotting in the house for two weeks at a time. I am having trouble fitting my small amount of food waste into the shared bin.

    I'm not policing them on what to eat or how much to eat, but to either plan right or eat it later doesnt seem unreasonable.

    Its just so easily avoidable I dont understand the big deal. Is there a reason for needing food waste?

    My intention was to live with the two I signed with and she added herself. When you live with new people everyone needs to adjust somehow. I accepted her rabbits, I even accepted she have them early because she needs them and now they are constatly ill because of it. I have adjusted for her and now she cannot make an adjustment herself?

    And most of all she is able to use her mental health to justify anything she wants now.
    You chose to accept and make those adjustments for her, not everyone wants to do that. Everything you've accepted was down to YOU. It was your CHOICE. Morally is it right for her to waste that food? No it isn't, but realistically there's nothing you can do about it. If the room she is staying in is legally meant for one person and she is not paying rent, then that's something you can bring up with the company you are renting the flat with.
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    You are going to have to deal with a lot of annoying issues in life and this isn't really in the top 1000. Just try to ignore it as best you can.

    The mental health thing is BS, but so what? What she does with her food has nothing to do with you.
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    (Original post by coolcucumber007)
    You chose to accept and make those adjustments for her, not everyone wants to do that. Everything you've accepted was down to YOU. It was your CHOICE. Morally is it right for her to waste that food? No it isn't, but realistically there's nothing you can do about it. If the room she is staying in is legally meant for one person and she is not paying rent, then that's something you can bring up with the company you are renting the flat with.
    My condition with the rabbits was to at least let us move in beforehand and it was countered with a no. I didnt choose to accept that and it was met with 'but my mental health'. Would I be able to force her as she did me if I claimed OCD over the food? That seems silly.
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    My condition with the rabbits was to at least let us move in beforehand and it was countered with a no. I didnt choose to accept that and it was met with 'but my mental health'. Would I be able to force her as she did me if I claimed OCD over the food? That seems silly.
    Well unfortunately there's nothing you can do about the situation. Claiming you have OCD when you don't is so wrong, it's a mental illness, for all you know she may actually be suffering from it.
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    (Original post by coolcucumber007)
    Well unfortunately there's nothing you can do about the situation. Claiming you have OCD when you don't is so wrong, it's a mental illness, for all you know she may actually be suffering from it.
    I would never make fun of a mental illness, like I said that seems silly and exactly how she is treating the rest of us. At this point she is using her hang ups in a way to demand things like the rabbits. If she has all these issues, maybe she shouldve brought them up before asking to live with us. I myself have had issues but I would never use them to manipupate other people.
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    (Original post by YaliaV)
    You are going to have to deal with a lot of annoying issues in life and this isn't really in the top 1000. Just try to ignore it as best you can.

    The mental health thing is BS, but so what? What she does with her food has nothing to do with you.
    Her mental health gives her an excuse for anything she wants. Even if the food isnt the issue the way this was handled when we talked, no thanks. Ignoring is a fair point. I suppose that friendship is done with.
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    Her mental health gives her an excuse for anything she wants. Even if the food isnt the issue the way this was handled when we talked, no thanks. Ignoring is a fair point. I suppose that friendship is done with.
    I think you're getting over-involved in the details of this couple's life and need to take a few steps back.

    I understand it's annoying to see perfectly good food being wasted. But in the end, it's not any of your business what she chooses to do with the food she's bought with her money and prepared and eaten herself. You wouldn't start concerning yourself if she seemed to buy lots of new clothes and wore a different thing every day, would you? It's a bit stalker-y.

    Your other concerns about her not doing chores and stuff is just projecting forwards - deal with that stuff if and when it arises. In the meantime, I'd just try to steer clear of them as much as practically possible and get on with your own life and concerns, rather than focus on the details of this couple's life.
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    I've just moved into a house for my second year at university with people I met the first year. There were originally three of us, then a girlfriend joined our tennancy. Great.

    My problem is the wasting of food. The couple makes gigatic meals and every night throws away a good three portions of perfectly fine food.

    Out of all of us I get the least student finance support and eat basic meals from scratch, while the two complain about money while being wasteful. Its really driving me crazy.

    We had a talk last night about it and they wont budge. I asked if they could keep leftovers for later instead of throwing it out and she justified it by saying how she has mental health problems to do with germs so thats a no. I asked if she could adjust her portions then and she said how she suffered from anorexia and so she will never finish a meal and how I would want her to be anorexic again?? She flipped out saying how I was trying to change her lifestyle and that she will not adjust her lifestyle for anyone.

    A friend who is staying with us joined in saying that it is their money and if they choose to use it this way it is fine. I'm talking three portions of food being wasted every dinner time..

    We talked about how we have been raised differently but I see that as no excuse for being so wasteful. I would eat the leftovers myself, but due to diatery requirements I cannot.

    I feel she is using her issues as excuses. The same happened when she wanted to get two rabbits. I was fine with it given the condition we could move in properly first and wait a few weeks. When the time came around for us to move in she said she needs them immedietely because she needs them to calm her anxiety and ptsd. Then was told that I had no say because they would not be mine and would not be in my way. Meanwhile the rabbits are ill a lot because we've had to move them several times while pesticide people did their job and pieces of hay are poping up everywhere.



    I really need advice about this. I can't blame her for having mental health problems but at this point I see them only as excuses. They seem to be her reason for everything. We also dont need more pests (ants) because of this and the waste feels like a kick in the dirt at the rest of us who cannot afford much.
    I feel sorry for you, she sounds horrible. Can't you kick her out?
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    (Original post by 2000sHype)
    Her mental health gives her an excuse for anything she wants. Even if the food isnt the issue the way this was handled when we talked, no thanks. Ignoring is a fair point. I suppose that friendship is done with.
    If she is using her mental health as an excuse to get her own way, then there is nothing you can do about that. You won't be able to reason with her and you'll only cause yourself more stress by trying to. Is there any chance you can move if these issues are bothering you so much?
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    there's not a lot you can do i'm afraid, but it does sound like she may use her mental health as an excuse in the future for something else so i'd probably have a talk with her again if it happens
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    Without being rude, it's not any of your business is it? It's their money getting wasted...
 
 
 
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