bf infuriating me...

12

hey...

maybe i'm just ill and i can't think straight. maybe being ill is showing a few things that i've been trying to cover up in my head.

basically, me and my bf of a month have this relationship where we are always teasing each other and being mean to each other. nothing big, nothing like cheating or anything (sometimes i really believe he wouldn't, other times, when i'm feeling vulnerable i'm not so sure). i can't always tell when he's lying or not. i thought after a month of being with him i might be able to second guess him. this also makes me wonder if i'm some kinda joke to him.

i guess deep down i'm a pretty insecure person, and he knows that. so far i've been able to cover it up, and deal with it. i thought it might help me loosen up. sometimes i really enjoy our conversations etc, and think of it as one of his attractive features. but at least 3 times, he's really pissed me off, like made me really angry. and when i'm angry, it takes him a while to take me seriously, but afterwards, when i'm over it, he kinda mocks me and jokes around about it. he always says he's joking when he upsets me, and makes it out like why didn't i realise that?! normally it doesn't bother me and i get over it fairly quickly. but recently i'm begninng to think should i take this from him? or am i just being uptight?

i find it hard to read people, cos i find it hard to trust people. he can read me so easily, cos i wear my heart on my sleeve. i prefer to having everything out in the open. but he's a lot more subtle, and i question what i think he's trying to say a lot.

when we were 'seeing' each other, i didn't really see this side of him to that extent. he's normally a very private person, and isn't the type to try to get to know everyone and tell his life story. i spose he treats me as one of his mates, and he says he tells me everything. but i guess what i'm trying to decide is, how much can i take of this?

please, any advice would be useful. maybe i'm just too clingy, needy. he says he thinks i'm the kinda person who needs constant reassurance. i'm reluctant to believe he's right, even tho he prolly is. maybe this is all in my head, and any normal person would be fine. apart from this, everything is pretty gd, but this is an issue that keeps coming up for me.

xxxx

Reply 1

Rei

14

Personally i think he's just joking, but doesn't really know when to stop.. Maybe tell him that you're a little insecure and he needs to stop taking it too far.. He sounds okay..

Sorry that's all the advice i can give.. :p:

Reply 2

username47781

20

Guess you need to learn to trust him more because trouble is with being clingy it will turn him off you. He must like you with he's with you.

Reply 3

fairycakes

OP

12

thanks...i'm beginning to think it all stems from my trust issues. but i just find it hard to let go and trust him. i'm so scared of being hurt, and do wish i could get constant reassurance from him, which i guess sometimes i'm on the cusp of doing, a lot, which i know annoys him.

is there any advice anyone can give me on trusting?

xxxx

Reply 4

erk

14

is he a care-free person?

he sounds like me, too much joking, isn't bothered by muchos, can take sarcasm/jokes too far to the point where people aren't sure/comfortable.

Reply 5

footy99

1

Haha, I was about to say it sounds a bit like me as well.

My advice would be to just tell him that you want him to care for you sometimes and maybe take you seriously (?). It's still early stages in your relationship so he might just be a bit care-free and wants to see how things will go.

Just trust him that if he makes fun of you then it's not an attack on you.

(Just thinking I worded that all really poorly so hopefully you're able to pick up on the point I was trying to make :P :smile:

Reply 6

Vampyrcorn

14

fairycakes

thanks...i'm beginning to think it all stems from my trust issues. but i just find it hard to let go and trust him. i'm so scared of being hurt, and do wish i could get constant reassurance from him, which i guess sometimes i'm on the cusp of doing, a lot, which i know annoys him.

is there any advice anyone can give me on trusting?

xxxx

You've only been with him a month, right? I don't think you can talk yourself into trusting him, I could never imagine fully trusting a bf who I've only been with a month unless we'd been friends for ages. The trust will probably come naturally with time. You said that he is quite a private person, so I'd imagine you have the sort of relationship where the trust aspect will definately improve with time for the both of you. :smile:

If there are particular jokes on a subject that you know you don't like then I see no harm in asking him not to tease you about that specific thing though. :p:

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine. :smile:

Reply 7

Lizbut

13

My boyfriend's like that! You've just got to learn to kinda get over what he's saying, he's only trying to mess around. For instance, today I failed my driving test. I cried a bit, he said sorry. Then he made a comment on how easily I could run over a pedestrian without looking. People just don't know when the judge the right time to stop, but you can talk to me about your bf any time - I know what you're going through! Saying that, I trust my boyfriend but only because he reassures me. Tell him that you need reassuring for you to be able to trust him?

Reply 8

Brown Eyed Girl

I dunno but reading that I was thinking it was a bit strange. In one month in the start of your relationship he's made you really angry 3 times?

Mocking and joking is one thing, be and my B.f do that but if one of us got angry or upset, we'd stop straight away...

Might just be me looking at it from an odd point of veiw though O.o

Reply 9

*Tears and Butterflies*

2

You sound like me. I think all guys are like this. Do you show you are really angry when he takes itt oo far or do you try to bottle it up?

Reply 10

fairycakes

OP

12

no, he knows when i'm pissed off. like i said, i'm normally pretty up front with what i think. i haven't heard from him all day. not even a text to say ask how i'm feeling...he said yesterday he'd come stay the nite tonite, but it's 9 already and i haven't heard anything...

eek...i have a bad feeling. he orginally didn't want a gf, because he thought it would be too much hassle etc etc. and when i first started seeing him i thought that was his view on it all. but his brother, friends convinced him otherwise since. i feel like being angry at him and not just going with everything he says makes me a hassle...

:frown:

see how can i trust guys??

Reply 11

Angelil

19

Most people need stability in a relationship and at the moment it doesn't seem like this guy is giving you that. You need to talk to him and let him know this so that he might know how far is too far.

Reply 12

fairycakes

OP

12

ok, i think he's coming over. was an upbeat conversation.

but am i expecting too much of him too soon? i mean i don't want to scare him away for no reason, when i could have waited to see if he would change by himself?

xxxx

Reply 13

fairycakes

OP

12

and he does make me feel gd about myself, most of the time. i think he's really hot. i have fun with him, he gives me confidence when i'm with other people. i think i'm lucky to be with him xxxx

bf infuriating me...

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