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How to encourage housemates to clean own dishes? Watch

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    I live with my boyfriend and another couple. I want to somehow broach the subject with them without causing confrontation or tension that they need to clean up after themselves; as since I got here they haven't cleaned a single thing. Usually they order pizza literally every day so generate very little washing up, but every while or so they decide to make their own pizza or other food and generate a ton of washing up which they never do. They also use many glasses, mugs and shot glasses which have been piled up in the sink in a slowly expanding mass of dirtiness... I don't mind doing all my boyfriends cleaning and the odd thing or two from 'the others'. But I flat out refuse to clean any cups or glasses as we don't use them and I am tired and frankly just don't want to do any more just cleaning all of their mess. Literally, not exaggerating, they have not done a single scrap of washing up since I've been here and any dishes they've used have either been cleaned by me or are still in the sink. Me and my boyfriend talk about it and think of various things we could do to 'encourage' them, but they are genuinely very lazy people in every facet of life and I just don't know what to do. It drove me over the edge today when I heard them complaining to each other in the kitchen about how we need to wash the dishes; when there were only 3 bowls (from our dinner a half hour earlier) of ours and an entire sink full of their dishes. They preceded, of course, to not wash anything- of theirs or ours although I made an effort to wash the pan I'd just used so they wouldn't need to wash it. They've left the resulting dishes lying around on the side like they always do and I thoroughly doubt they will wash any.
    My boyfriend tried to mention the glasses in the sink today to the other guy but he just said they weren't his; although having seen them on his desk before they went in the sink they probably were his, he gave off the strong impression he was not going to clean them. We don't want to cause confrontation but were thinking of avoiding washing any of their dishes at all so that they build up in the sink to a point where there are no dishes left at all and then whenever they try to do anything they will complain about it to us that we need to wash and we can tell them it's all theirs. But in this case we obviously wouldn't have any clean dishes for our own use.
    Another thing we were thinking of is having a cleaning rota where the side for us would be full of household chores that we do anyway and the side for them would just be 'clean own dishes' and maybe a 'take out bin' once every two weeks.
    I would love some better suggestions of what to do if anyone has any, we're really not keen on directly asking them to do their own washing because we don't want to start anything.

    I'd also like to add that there is a my height pile of pizza boxes 3 pizza boxes wide in the hallway and I would love a way to solve that problem too.
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    just tell em to clean their own ****. everyone's responsible for their own ****. Period.
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    You're gonna have to just ask them in person whether they could make more effort to tidy up after themselves because it is becoming an issue for yourself as you don't want to live somewhere that is dirty
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    Hide their pots and pans and don't tell where you hid them until they agree to clean up thereafter
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    (Original post by PuffyPrincess)
    I live with my boyfriend and another couple. I want to somehow broach the subject with them without causing confrontation or tension that they need to clean up after themselves; as since I got here they haven't cleaned a single thing. Usually they order pizza literally every day so generate very little washing up, but every while or so they decide to make their own pizza or other food and generate a ton of washing up which they never do. They also use many glasses, mugs and shot glasses which have been piled up in the sink in a slowly expanding mass of dirtiness... I don't mind doing all my boyfriends cleaning and the odd thing or two from 'the others'. But I flat out refuse to clean any cups or glasses as we don't use them and I am tired and frankly just don't want to do any more just cleaning all of their mess. Literally, not exaggerating, they have not done a single scrap of washing up since I've been here and any dishes they've used have either been cleaned by me or are still in the sink. Me and my boyfriend talk about it and think of various things we could do to 'encourage' them, but they are genuinely very lazy people in every facet of life and I just don't know what to do. It drove me over the edge today when I heard them complaining to each other in the kitchen about how we need to wash the dishes; when there were only 3 bowls (from our dinner a half hour earlier) of ours and an entire sink full of their dishes. They preceded, of course, to not wash anything- of theirs or ours although I made an effort to wash the pan I'd just used so they wouldn't need to wash it. They've left the resulting dishes lying around on the side like they always do and I thoroughly doubt they will wash any.
    My boyfriend tried to mention the glasses in the sink today to the other guy but he just said they weren't his; although having seen them on his desk before they went in the sink they probably were his, he gave off the strong impression he was not going to clean them. We don't want to cause confrontation but were thinking of avoiding washing any of their dishes at all so that they build up in the sink to a point where there are no dishes left at all and then whenever they try to do anything they will complain about it to us that we need to wash and we can tell them it's all theirs. But in this case we obviously wouldn't have any clean dishes for our own use.
    Another thing we were thinking of is having a cleaning rota where the side for us would be full of household chores that we do anyway and the side for them would just be 'clean own dishes' and maybe a 'take out bin' once every two weeks.
    I would love some better suggestions of what to do if anyone has any, we're really not keen on directly asking them to do their own washing because we don't want to start anything.

    I'd also like to add that there is a my height pile of pizza boxes 3 pizza boxes wide in the hallway and I would love a way to solve that problem too.
    I would clean up your dishes etc and keep them in your room and bring them out to use. They will eventually clean up there dishes and if they don't and they go mouldy, then throw them. sorted.
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    Put it all in their beds, worked a treat in my house.

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    How about you keep all your dishes and glasses etc in your room so that they're forced to wash their own things when they see that they won't be able to eat off anything otherwise.
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    Pick up their stack of dirty dishes, carry it into their room and put them on their bed.

    They'll get the message pretty quickly.
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    Have a general big picture conversation before taking petty measures like hiding pans. Tell them they are never washing up, cups are their as you only use a water bottle (or whatever you do), all the pizza boxes are theirs and they need to pull their weight. Suggest that everyone washes up immediately after cooking so that there can be no confusion as to whose dishes they are.

    If that doesn't work (which tbh it probably won't if they're lazy) then separate your own kitchen ware and keep it in your room or in a locked cupboard so that their stuff is left dirty and they are forced to clean it. If there are more than a couple of pizza boxes start putting them in their bedroom. You can try a cleaning rota - but divide stuff properly, don't do it half arsed - but with people who don't listen to reason this sort of thing doesn't suually help.

    It's good to make sure you're beyond reproach if you're gonna kick up a fuss about this sort of stuff... even if they are 10x worse if you ever leave your own pots you just give them ammunition to ignore you.
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    tbh just keep your own set and only wash that as soon as you use it. then their dishes will just pile up.
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    I'd keep my own set of crockery/cutlery/cooking utensils in my room. If you buy a plastic washing up bowl you can even wash up without getting anywhere near the kitchen sink
    They may or may not clean up eventually. It won't be your problem
    It will be easy to keep your own areas clean but communal ones are more difficult. Suggest a rota but maybe resign yourself to the fact it'll be you
    Given their lack of maturity, dirty habits etc they don't sound ideal living partners. Is there anyway you can move?
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    Buy a washing up bowl and put all their dirty stuff. If you are feeling very passive aggressive, put it in / outside their room or just outside the back door.
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    As an update, they cooked last night and this night so we left all their dishes in the sink to force them to clean. They have ran out of glasses and cups. It appears this strategy is not at all effective as they seem to have seamlessly moved to using jam jars to drink from. I am almost speechless.
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    you must lead by example
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    (Original post by PuffyPrincess)
    As an update, they cooked last night and this night so we left all their dishes in the sink to force them to clean. They have ran out of glasses and cups. It appears this strategy is not at all effective as they seem to have seamlessly moved to using jam jars to drink from. I am almost speechless.
    "Guys, I need the pans in a bit so can you do your washing up please? Ta"

    Don't make it a big deal or an accusation, just a casual request
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    How long have you known them? Were they friends before you moved in together?
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    Passive aggressive post it notes
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    How old are they?
 
 
 
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