Uni life not what I thought it would be

Please keep as anon or delete, people i know use this board, thanks.

Basically since i started uni my life has been getting so bad, I feel my rocky self-esteem has been completely destroyed, I feel lonely all the time and feel whats the point about everything. I think all my housemates hate me/put up with me/ feel sorry for me. I would love to feel part of the group but don't feel like I can be because I don't feel as good as the other people. I don't feel I have made any friends at all. At home there were always friends I could see who would cheer me up ( i have always been a bit depressive/ ocdish/ anxious ) and I used to be in a low place but i would bounce back off them.

Here I just have nobody to talk to and if I did I would feel they were only listening because they felt sorry for me. I'm changing and I really don't like it, at home I was a good girl always doing my work and stuff and here I just get ridiculously drunk all the time. Whats worse is that I get drunk to try and be more sociable and then I just embarass myself and get that almost painful feeling the next day when I remember what I did. Also sometimes, this sounds silly, but I actually find it hard to talk, like today I was ordering lunch and the words nearly didn't come out and I almost didn't feel brave enough to ask for a student discount which rationally I know is ridiculous but it felt sane at the time.

Reply 1

twistycircles

how long have u been at uni...because it always takes time, but considering that u have a depressive nature as u said, it is going to take a lot more adjustment, ur entire structure has been changed...so what ur feeling given ur nature is perfectly normal....also, have u considered taking counseling, it could be helpful...also, try to drink enough to get sociable and stuff but not that much that u just look silly, if ur not sure of ur limits than start by not mixing drinks..and work out how much u can handle....feel free to PM me

Reply 2

Stace-is-Ace

Everyone can always make new friends...seriously!

Even if you don't feel able to approach them...someone will come up to you...it might help if you made an effort though...perhaps if you confided in one of your housemates they would become closer to you...once you share a little bit of personal information like that...people feel closer...

Smile a little...there's no reason for people not to like you! But you need to start liking yourself first! =]

Reply 3

logiclane

When I want to university ( a long time ago) I had no idea what to expect, being the first of my family to go into higher education. I hated my small-town school (filled to the brink with small-town minds) and really thought university would be incomparable.
Instead I got lacklustre teaching, an incomprehensible curriculum, and flatmates who were just as thick as the people I had so gleefully left behind. Being socially awkward didn`t help me either. I used to be very shy and anxious ; when I said things they were usually inappropriate, embarassing, or just felt that way. I've never been so alone in my life (or ever again, really)
I failed my first set of exams and only the threat of being sent down inspired me to pass each and every exam second time round. By the time I got into second year things more or less settled down and I found my feet.. but it did take a while. You have to grow into it.

Reply 4

Vohamanah

I felt just the same when I started uni. I am pretty 'socially awkward' as well and find it very difficult to talk to new people.

I thought all my housemates just put up with me or actually disliked me. I went as a good girl, who worked hard and got good results and went through a phase of drinking all the time (falling down 5 flights of stairs because you are drunk at 11am isn't the way to go) going out already drunk wearing as little clothes as possible in the vain hope that if I came across as easy people would respect me.

So don't let yourself get into a bad cycle. I got out of it and I'm happier now. Feel free to PM me if you need any help. I don't know anyone on TSR anyway so I'm confidential :smile:

Reply 5

</gibberish>

Stace-is-Ace

Everyone can always make new friends...seriously!

Now all I can think about is the song in your sig. :biggrin:

Reply 6

logiclane

pinkpinkuk

going out already drunk wearing as little clothes as possible in the vain hope that if I came across as easy people would respect me.

Oh dear.... No, that would not be the way forward.... though I've heard of it a number of times. Being 'easy' is the surest way to losing all respect you might have pronto.