Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How to deal with hating someone you can't cut out of your life? Watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I had never hated anyone and haven't met anyone else that I hate. Since my dad's wife entered my life and did and said the most unforgivable things to me (not that she has ever apologised or asked for my forgivness). The woman is my definition of evil (in relative terms - obviously not a murderer etc. lol) and I hate her. There aren't really any arguments anymore but whenever I'm home it's a constant reminder of what she did to me and said to me and worst of all how she got away with it - she's still living her perfect little life with no repurcussions of her disgusting behaviour. Where's karma when you need it...

    anyway I can't live like this. I need a way to deal with this because being at home is hell. Would therapy help?
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    I think you should try therapy since that's what you initially thought of anyway.

    This is clearly affecting you quite a lot so talking to someone about it would certainly help you
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    What has she actually done?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Meany Pie)
    What has she actually done?
    not really the aim of the thread to divulge my life history and personal information. i assume by your tone you think im being a brat or exaggerating. not sure why when the occurance of an "evil-stepmother" isn't exactly uncommon.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    not really the aim of the thread to divulge my life history and personal information. i assume by your tone you think im being a brat or exaggerating. not sure why when the occurance of an "evil-stepmother" isn't exactly uncommon.
    Her tone? But you can't hear her? I'm pretty sure she's only trying to help, and it's a perfectly valid question

    Anyhow - does your dad know she's said all this? If not, tell him.

    If he has, talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel...it'll be hard, yes, but what's harder? Having a conversation you don't want to have for an hour, or living with the tension and internal turmoil for the rest of your life?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    not really the aim of the thread to divulge my life history and personal information. i assume by your tone you think im being a brat or exaggerating. not sure why when the occurance of an "evil-stepmother" isn't exactly uncommon.
    Not at all, I'm just interested.

    I don't think therapy is going to help, if she really is a complete b*tch. No amount of therapy is going to make you hate her less, I would know since I have had significant issues with my own mother.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    not really the aim of the thread to divulge my life history and personal information. I assume by your tone you think I'm being a brat or exaggerating. not sure why when the occurrence of an "evil-stepmother" isn't exactly uncommon.
    Ok, but what has she done?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    just do the exact opposite of how you would normally react.
    • Community Assistant
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    not really the aim of the thread to divulge my life history and personal information. i assume by your tone you think im being a brat or exaggerating. not sure why when the occurance of an "evil-stepmother" isn't exactly uncommon.
    But, we cant really give practical advice unless we know whats she's done?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Meany Pie)
    Not at all, I'm just interested.

    I don't think therapy is going to help, if she really is a complete b*tch. No amount of therapy is going to make you hate her less, I would know since I have had significant issues with my own mother.
    ok sorry i am just quite defensive about that as i'm aware certain people think it when they hear I don't get on with my "step mother" and i don't really want to tell people i'm not close with my life story.

    she is awful but the past month there has been no issue (yet) so i think she is at least trying to have a more peaceful life which is all i want. she hasn't apologised though and i find the whole thing very fake, i can't just forget what she has done to me for the past 8 years just because she hasn't been a ***** to me the past 1 month. when i say she is bad it is extreme. she is also only 8 years older than me.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    But, we cant really give practical advice unless we know whats she's done?
    why? it's not relevant to helping me deal with my hatred of her...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by harrythomas14)

    If he has, talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel...it'll be hard, yes, but what's harder? Having a conversation you don't want to have for an hour, or living with the tension and internal turmoil for the rest of your life?
    doesn't work. i have tried countless times.
    • Community Assistant
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why? it's not relevant to helping me deal with my hatred of her...
    Well it is, as its the reason you hate her right?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok sorry i am just quite defensive about that as i'm aware certain people think it when they hear I don't get on with my "step mother" and i don't really want to tell people i'm not close with my life story.

    she is awful but the past month there has been no issue (yet) so i think she is at least trying to have a more peaceful life which is all i want. she hasn't apologised though and i find the whole thing very fake, i can't just forget what she has done to me for the past 8 years just because she hasn't been a ***** to me the past 1 month. when i say she is bad it is extreme. she is also only 8 years older than me.
    Just accept that you aren't going to get an apology.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    For starters, Ask for an apology. State to her the things she has done wrong, talk to it with your Dad, make him understand. Make her know what she has done to hurt you, or maybe your interpreting it incorrectly? Speak through your differences is the best way. Get therapy too.

    Next, if she doesn't comply or doesn't respond then what I would do, and what I have done in the past is to completely ignore them entirely.
    This means, wash your clothes your self, dont respond to them when spoken to, total ignorance, when you eat dont look at them, cook your own food.
    Basically live life as if they weren't there.
    Now that is not exactly the most optimum solution, but say, if your waiting to move out to university then its fine.

    But if you are old enough, have a job, and can support yourself, then just move out with friends. If you're at university thats a plus.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 21, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Should Spain allow Catalonia to declare independence?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.