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    I don't know if I am going to be able to do it
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    How come? Tell me everything!
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    (Original post by Anseran)
    How come? Tell me everything!
    From ages 14-24 I have experienced extreme anxiety and depression. It led to me leaving school and I was unable to sit my GCSEs so I missed out on A-level qualifications and university. I have always felt self conscious and have an extreme inferiority complex.

    I constantly feel as though people are judging me and scrutinising me. It's hard to explain but i feel as though I am not meant to be here. I have attempted suicide many times and it has resulted in me being a psychiatric inpatient many times. I have taken many courses and given up but at 23 I took my GCSES and gained Bs and then went on to pursue my Access course and gained 42 distinctions and 3 merits. However, my attendance was very low when it came to attending the classes and some days I felt too afraid to attend.

    Sometimes I would beg a friend or family member to attend the college with me and wait outside the whole time (selfish of me). The college staff were very supportive and eventually I was able to go by myself, but I still felt overwhelmed when it came to passing crowds in the corridor and if I hadn't made any friends on my course I do not think I would have been able to complete it.

    I feel like a failure tbh, I feel embarassed that I have borderline personality disorder and at 26 years old I feel pathetic. I fear people, I fear that they will mock me and it is an unsettling feeling when I am outside. For example, I was sat on the train a few days ago and a couple were sat opposite me and I could feel them staring. I heard them laughing and it made me feel sick inside. I can't guarantee that they were laughing at me but I feel as though I stand out as a freak of nature so maybe they were.

    Overall, I am so unhappy with everything about myself and wish that I could hide lol it sounds childish I know but that is how my mindset has always been.
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    (Original post by crazycatlady1991)
    From ages 14-24 I have experienced extreme anxiety and depression. It led to me leaving school and I was unable to sit my GCSEs so I missed out on A-level qualifications and university. I have always felt self conscious and have an extreme inferiority complex.

    I constantly feel as though people are judging me and scrutinising me. It's hard to explain but i feel as though I am not meant to be here. I have attempted suicide many times and it has resulted in me being a psychiatric inpatient many times. I have taken many courses and given up but at 23 I took my GCSES and gained Bs and then went on to pursue my Access course and gained 42 distinctions and 3 merits. However, my attendance was very low when it came to attending the classes and some days I felt too afraid to attend.

    Sometimes I would beg a friend or family member to attend the college with me and wait outside the whole time (selfish of me). The college staff were very supportive and eventually I was able to go by myself, but I still felt overwhelmed when it came to passing crowds in the corridor and if I hadn't made any friends on my course I do not think I would have been able to complete it.

    I feel like a failure tbh, I feel embarassed that I have borderline personality disorder and at 26 years old I feel pathetic. I fear people, I fear that they will mock me and it is an unsettling feeling when I am outside. For example, I was sat on the train a few days ago and a couple were sat opposite me and I could feel them staring. I heard them laughing and it made me feel sick inside. I can't guarantee that they were laughing at me but I feel as though I stand out as a freak of nature so maybe they were.

    Overall, I am so unhappy with everything about myself and wish that I could hide lol it sounds childish I know but that is how my mindset has always been.
    You won't be alone. I'm starting in September (I think you might have commented on my thread about it so hi again!) I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember, I developed depression in my teens and I have borderline aspergers. I barely scrapped through my A-levels then had to drop out of uni when I was younger.

    I'm sure once you start you'll make friends in your course and it'll help massively. I'm planning on doing that, going to classes for exercise (It helps a lot of my symptoms the more I stay active plus a chance to meet more people) and joining society's. Basically just trying to make some friends so everything's a lot less daunting.

    Have you applied for disabled student allowance at all? I did and they set up a personal mentor who specialises in mental health so they can help me figure put how to get through my classes and coursework and hopefully spot if my symptoms flare up or if I have a panic attack, a scanner/printer so a) i can work at home if my anxietys too bad to be out at the library or b) my mental health causes looooads of fatigue so I have software that can read out my books for me when I can't focus so I can just scan in workbooks. Also I'd get in touch with the wellbeing team if you haven't already, they can advise you on counselling if you need.

    And your definitely not a failure, you managed to apply AND get into university despite all these other problems you have going on, that's more than a lot of people could do in their mid 20s without being so effected by their mental health so yay!

    I guess what helps as well when I'm anxious about something and just kind of doing a thought diary like one of these https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=cb...v&fir=qg9vtBzt (if you've ever been in CBT then you'll probably have seen it before but I really find it helps if theirs something specific)

    Point is it might be hard but you can do it!
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    Hey guys! I'm going into second year at cccu and was feeling equally anxious about starting this time last year! Pushing myself to come was the best thing I've done, can't say it wasn't hard but definitely worthwhile - there is also so much support, especially from lecturers when time has been missed, all content is also online so even when I didn't attend uni I could still keep up to date.

    What courses are you going to be studying?
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    Health studies
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    Dear all,

    We are happy to see so many of you supporting one another and sharing your experiences. Going to University can be a daunting and stressful time, but it can also be a time full of excitement and new prospects, where you can make new friends and be part of a shared community. Its great to hear that our services have been helpful to current students and for those looking to start in September we are here to help.
    To get you settled in and to support you throughout your time with us here at CCCU, we have a range of services to help support your mental health and wellbeing. We have a Mental Wellbeing Team that are able to offer advice and guidance alongside our Emotional Wellbeing Drop In Sessions which are open every afternoon Mon-Fri, you can contact them to arrange a confidential and friendly chat via [email protected].

    Alongside this, as a student you will have full access to our Chaplaincy which offers a confidential listening service where you can talk through any problems in a safe and caring environment. Our Students Union is also available to you as a CCCU student, with loads of societies to join, they are on hand to help with academic support, settling in and finding your voice at university. If you would like to find out more about how the CCCU Students Union can help please visit their webpage via: https://ccsu.co.uk/advice/

    We look forward to welcoming you in September to our inclusive and caring University community

    The Student Recruitment Team.
 
 
 
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