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I am a 20 year old guy who is gay but has a girlfriend - AMA Watch

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    • #1
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    (Original post by deroon)
    We can't decide sexual attraction but we can control whether we decide to have sex with whoever we want. Just like I can decide whether I want to go to the shops or play football for example.

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    I would much rather play football than go shopping!

    Don't let people here try to convince you that you don't like her, they don't know you as much as you know yourself and your relationship.
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    (Original post by constantine2016)
    If you feel no romantic or physical attraction to a man how are you even gay then?
    I am sexually attracted to men but through free will decide not to have sex with one.
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    (Original post by deroon)
    I am sexually attracted to men but through free will decide not to have sex with one.
    If that makes you happy then alright then.
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    (Original post by shameful_burrito)
    Is she your beard?
    No.
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    Unfortunately
    These kind of relationships (mixed-orientation relationships) have been shown time and time again to be recipe for disaster
    accept yourself as you are
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    (Original post by deroon)
    No.
    Sure bro.
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    (Original post by deroon)
    I am sexually attracted to men but through free will decide not to have sex with one.
    I just read your other post about how you want to have a heterosexual life. You can't change who you are. Yes, you can control your sexual urges but you can't force yourself to like women. You said you love your gf but is it the same type of love your gf expects? You also have to think in the long term. If you have children in the future is it fair to lie to them about your sexuality? You can't deceive everyone forever.

    I know gay men who have tried to fake a heterosexual life and none of their marriages ended well.
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    Then you are not gay, simple as. You can be attracted to men, thinking that they are attractive. There is nothing wrong with admiring someone. I think all guys do that. But that does not automatically classify you as being gay. it just means you have an idea of what a good looking guy looks like.

    As you are currently in a heterosexual relationship, then you are straight. Don't let anyone else convince you or change you otherwise cause they think its "progressive and the new cool thing"
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    (Original post by Loopy91)
    Do you feel any romantic attraction to her?
    Also, to the other posters, I think he's saying that he's gay but doesn't want to act on it, rather than contradicting himself.

    Well what about when the kids leave home? You'll be bored together and longing for some c*ck. She needs to be with someone that wants the full package when it comes toIrelationships. It's sad and selfish really that you have this attitude. I feel sorry you feel pressure to have kids and get married conventionally, but you don't always get what you want in life. I want to do the same, but like you I'm gay. But I'm not gonna compromise a woman with my selfish wishes though.
    Yes your absolutely right about what I am saying.

    I do feel very romantically attracted to her and we have had sex before as well. Although the kids will leave home I will still have my own family and when couples become older the relationship is more about caring about each other in a more romantic rather than sexual way - very few older couples will base their relationship around sex. I can see why it may be selfish but I think that we should be free to make our own decisions in life. Their are far worse things I could be doing!
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    (Original post by aware1)
    Then you are not gay, simple as. You can be attracted to men, thinking that they are attractive. There is nothing wrong with admiring someone. I think all guys do that. But that does not automatically classify you as being gay. it just means you have an idea of what a good looking guy looks like.

    As you are currently in a heterosexual relationship, then you are straight. Don't let anyone else convince you or change you otherwise cause they think its "progressive and the new cool thing"
    I am actually sexually attracted to men and my body would want to have sex with a man but I refrain. The admiring kind of attraction you are describing is how I feel about my girl though we have had sex a few times.
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    Does your gf know you're gay?
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    (Original post by constantine2016)
    I just read your other post about how you want to have a heterosexual life. You can't change who you are. Yes, you can control your sexual urges but you can't force yourself to like women. You said you love your gf but is it the same type of love your gf expects? You also have to think in the long term. If you have children in the future is it fair to lie to them about your sexuality? You can't deceive everyone forever.

    I know gay men who have tried to fake a heterosexual life and none of their marriages ended well.
    My girlfriend is happy with being with me - if she wasn't she would break up with me. I am kind, caring and we spend plenty of time together. I think she looks beautiful and we have had sex a few times. I don't feel like I would be lying to my children or lying to anyone for that matter. Who would talk about their sexuality in front of their kids?
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    (Original post by applesforme)
    Does your gf know you're gay?
    No she doesn't. No one does.
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    (Original post by deroon)
    No she doesn't. No one does.
    Why are you going out with her if youre gay?

    Do you feel bad for deceiving her and basically stringing her along?
    • #2
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    does your girlfriend know? if not she deserves to know and be with someone who is physically attracted to her. let me just say it's not gonna work out in the long run. you would eventually want to give in and have sex with a guy. but if this is life you choose good on you just don't break her heart x
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    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    Why are you going with her if youre gay?

    Do you feel bad for deceiving her and basically stringing her along?
    I want to have a girlfriend and live a heterosexual life. I genuinely do enjoy spending time with her. If she didn't want to be with me she would leave me so I don't feel like I am deceiving her or forcing her to be with me. I do actually love her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    does your girlfriend know? if not she deserves to know and be with someone who is physically attracted to her. let me just say it's not gonna work out in the long run. you would eventually want to give in and have sex with a guy. but if this is life you choose good on you just don't break her heart x
    No she doesn't. But I will always try to be the best boyfriend I can be for her and will never break her heart for another guy.
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    (Original post by deroon)
    I want to have a girlfriend and live a heterosexual life. I genuinely do enjoy spending time with her. If she didn't want to be with me she would leave me so I don't feel like I am deceiving her or forcing her to be with me. I do actually love her.
    Ignore that it says edited by me.I pressed the wrong button!! :facepalm:

    Would she still be with you if she knew you were gay?

    Are you sure youre not bi?
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    (Original post by deroon)
    Yes your absolutely right about what I am saying.

    I do feel very romantically attracted to her and we have had sex before as well. Although the kids will leave home I will still have my own family and when couples become older the relationship is more about caring about each other in a more romantic rather than sexual way - very few older couples will base their relationship around sex. I can see why it may be selfish but I think that we should be free to make our own decisions in life. Their are far worse things I could be doing!
    So you're saying you're ROMANTICALLY attracted to her but not SEXUALLY. She might be both of these things towards you, in which case it's an unfair and inbalanced relationship based on deceit. She needs to know that you're not SEXUALLY attracted to her, because trust me, if you commit yourself to a girl for life, you'll be miserable as hell. There's a specific label for your sexuality actually, if what you're saying is genuinely true and you're not in denial about not really being romantically attracted to women. It's called 'bi-romantic homosexual'. You are bi romantic because you are capable of having romantic attraction to both sees, and you are homosexual because you are only capable of being SEXUALLY attracted to men. But something tells me you're kinda in denial about how you really feel about your girl. That's something for you to think about.

    And yeah biromantic (and hetero romantic, homoromantic) sound like SJW terms but they're really just asexuals with romantic attractions
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    Do you feel sexually attracted to her? Is sex enjoyable?
 
 
 
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