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I am a 20 year old guy who is gay but has a girlfriend - AMA Watch

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    Honey you are very young and committing to a woman who presumably doesn't know you are straight and pretending to fake it while building an uncertain future for yourself and anyone else who gets sucked into this is bound to end in disaster. Do the honest thing and tell her you are gay and then take a long bountiful holiday from messing with your identity and speak to someone compassionate such as a counselor who can help you come to terms with your expectations for your life. I wish you all the best, having same sex attractions are a fact of life, you cannot simply ignore them, neither can you be someone you are not but if you wish you don't have to act on them, as I believe your desire is that.
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    There was another gay guy who, apparently so, turned straight somehow.

    You can too!


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    (Original post by deroon)
    Hi, I am a 20 year old guy who is gay but has a girlfriend. I would never want to have sex/a relationship with another guy. Go ahead and AMA.
    So you're bi?
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    (Original post by Mightlobster)
    There was another gay guy who, apparently so, turned straight somehow.

    You can too!


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    You can't turn straight. People who claim to have done so are fraudsters or they are in denial.
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    If you are trying to tackle desires which are of of no benefit to you, then that's great. All the best.
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    (Original post by applesforme)
    Do you feel sexually attracted to her? Is sex enjoyable?
    Yes but much less than my sexual attraction to men. I am like 95% homosexual and 5% heterosexual so gay rather than bi. Yeah sex is good - i concentrate that 5% on her. I just had sex with her earlier and it was good - we both orgasmed even though it took a while for me to get an errection.
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    (Original post by Boredom101)
    So you're bi?
    No, I want the heterosexual lifestyle like all my mates have. Many of them have girlfriends too and I feel proud showing her to my mates. I would never want to tell them I have a boyfriend.
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    (Original post by Ramona CA)
    Honey you are very young and committing to a woman who presumably doesn't know you are straight and pretending to fake it while building an uncertain future for yourself and anyone else who gets sucked into this is bound to end in disaster. Do the honest thing and tell her you are gay and then take a long bountiful holiday from messing with your identity and speak to someone compassionate such as a counselor who can help you come to terms with your expectations for your life. I wish you all the best, having same sex attractions are a fact of life, you cannot simply ignore them, neither can you be someone you are not but if you wish you don't have to act on them, as I believe your desire is that.
    Why would I want to leave my GF? We love each other and I would never want to be with a man over her. Our identity is much more about what we do than what we think or desire.
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    (Original post by deroon)
    No, I want the heterosexual lifestyle like all my mates have. Many of them have girlfriends too and I feel proud showing her to my mates. I would never want to tell them I have a boyfriend.
    If they're your real mates, they'd have no problem with you having a boyfriend.
    I think you're compromising yourself and being really unfair to your girlfriend. Why settle for women when you're only a little bit attracted to them? Get yourself a man, I promise you will be a lot happier.

    And what is the 'heterosexual' lifestyle? I bet some of your mates won't even have kids, so it's literally the same as a homosexual lifestyle, the only difference being in gender.
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    (Original post by Loopy91)
    So you're saying you're ROMANTICALLY attracted to her but not SEXUALLY. She might be both of these things towards you, in which case it's an unfair and inbalanced relationship based on deceit. She needs to know that you're not SEXUALLY attracted to her, because trust me, if you commit yourself to a girl for life, you'll be miserable as hell. There's a specific label for your sexuality actually, if what you're saying is genuinely true and you're not in denial about not really being romantically attracted to women. It's called 'bi-romantic homosexual'. You are bi romantic because you are capable of having romantic attraction to both sees, and you are homosexual because you are only capable of being SEXUALLY attracted to men. But something tells me you're kinda in denial about how you really feel about your girl. That's something for you to think about.

    And yeah biromantic (and hetero romantic, homoromantic) sound like SJW terms but they're really just asexuals with romantic attractions
    Aren't I more of a hetero romantic homosexual?
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    Weirrrddd..

    Anyways fair enough u like men and want to have a traditional family, wife and children in the future. But it is still unfair on her and selfish of u not to tell her how u feel. U can still explain how you're romantically attracted to her and care for her. The decision to stay with u would be upto her. But you're hiding a very big part of who you are away from her and so will not end well. You're relationship is kinda based on a lie cuz she's totally oblivious to the fact ur more attracted to men. She might still stay with u, u should atleast let her know. That's someone's life, future ur playing with. If u claim u care for her as much as u say u would know she deserves the truth about who she's in a relationship with
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    (Original post by deroon)
    Aren't I more of a hetero romantic homosexual?
    I think that's you being in denial again. Be honest - have you ever had a crush on a guy? What did it feel like? Did you feel like kissing him, hugging him intimately as well as f*ck in him? If yes, then you do have romantic feelings towards men, but as you (supposedly) also have romantic feelings towards women, that makes you biromantic. But I have a feeling that you are forcing yourself to like women, and it wouldn't be as fulfilling as if you were in a relationship with a man.
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    (Original post by Loopy91)
    If they're your real mates, they'd have no problem with you having a boyfriend.
    I think you're compromising yourself and being really unfair to your girlfriend. Why settle for women when you're only a little bit attracted to them? Get yourself a man, I promise you will be a lot happier.

    And what is the 'heterosexual' lifestyle? I bet some of your mates won't even have kids, so it's literally the same as a homosexual lifestyle, the only difference being in gender.
    I don't want to be the only gay man out of my group of mates or my family for that matter. My girlfriend is happy being we me and me the same. Sex isn't a large part of my life either - we've had sex 5 times so far this month and I don't understand why life should be all about chasing sexual pleasure. I really want to have my own biological kids in a traditional family set up by the way.

    How do you think I would be happier with a man?
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    (Original post by Loopy91)
    I think that's you being in denial again. Be honest - have you ever had a crush on a guy? What did it feel like? Did you feel like kissing him, hugging him intimately as well as f*ck in him? If yes, then you do have romantic feelings towards men, but as you (supposedly) also have romantic feelings towards women, that makes you biromantic. But I have a feeling that you are forcing yourself to like women, and it wouldn't be as fulfilling as if you were in a relationship with a man.
    When I think about a guy I only think about ****ing him. Not so much the kissing, cuddling or anything else. I just don't see why it would be worth never having children just to **** a guy?
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    (Original post by deroon)
    I don't want to be the only gay man out of my group of mates or my family for that matter. My girlfriend is happy being we me and me the same. Sex isn't a large part of my life either - we've had sex 5 times so far this month and I don't understand why life should be all about chasing sexual pleasure. I really want to have my own biological kids in a traditional family set up by the way.

    How do you think I would be happier with a man?
    Why would it be so bad if you were the only gay guy in your circle of friends and family? And you are gay, so you are the only gay man in those circles (assuming no one else is) whether you want to come out or not, and there's nothing you can about it. I'm a gay brown guy, and my most of my friends are straight white guys. I don't think twice about my insignificant differences to them because the most important thing is the connection I have with them, which is why I'm friends with them. I just so happen to like a different sex to them and be of a different skin colour to them. That's all.

    Your girlfriend is happy for now because she's in a relationship based on a lie!! Wait until you get a wife, and she's 60 and you can't bare the thought of having sex with her or being intimate with her (because thats when they'll lose their attractiveness). It will not end well. I suspect you only have shallow attraction to women, even romantically and you are lying to yourself about it.

    You would be happier with a man because you feel much more strongly attracted to them than you do towards women! And the relationship won't be based on a lie.
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    (Original post by deroon)
    When I think about a guy I only think about ****ing him. Not so much the kissing, cuddling or anything else. I just don't see why it would be worth never having children just to **** a guy?
    I think you wish that was true, but I bet you've fancied men in a way that you feel a drive to be in a relationship with him.

    As for having children, well, we don't always get what we want in life, you just have to suck it up. Also if you have any siblings, if they have kids, you could dote on them and build a good relationship with them to compensate for your lack of children.
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    (Original post by Loopy91)
    Why would it be so bad if you were the only gay guy in your circle of friends and family? And you are gay, so you are the only gay man in those circles (assuming no one else is) whether you want to come out or not, and there's nothing you can about it. I'm a gay brown guy, and my most of my friends are straight white guys. I don't think twice about my insignificant differences to them because the most important thing is the connection I have with them, which is why I'm friends with them. I just so happen to like a different sex to them and be of a different skin colour to them. That's all.

    Your girlfriend is happy for now because she's in a relationship based on a lie!! Wait until you get a wife, and she's 60 and you can't bare the thought of having sex with her or being intimate with her (because thats when they'll lose their attractiveness). It will not end well. I suspect you only have shallow attraction to women, even romantically and you are lying to yourself about it.

    You would be happier with a man because you feel much more strongly attracted to them than you do towards women! And the relationship won't be based on a lie.
    OK but then how did I manage to orgasm with my GF when I had sex with her earlier? I am surely attracted to her somewhat then?
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    (Original post by deroon)
    OK but then how did I manage to orgasm with my GF when I had sex with her earlier? I am surely attracted to her somewhat then?
    Orgasms are physiological. You admitted earlier it takes a while to get it up, so you obviously work very hard to reach orgasm. So you finishing doesn't really say much.
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    (Original post by Loopy91)
    Orgasms are physiological. You admitted earlier it takes a while to get it up, so you obviously work very hard to reach orgasm. So you finishing doesn't really say much.
    I do think that I would feel less manly If I was gay and having sex with a guy and I would be a lesser man compared to my mates who can boast about their girlfriends. I fear that receiving anal sex from a guy would feel much more submissive than sex with a girl.
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    (Original post by deroon)
    I do think that I would feel less manly If I was gay and having sex with a guy and I would be a lesser man compared to my mates who can boast about their girlfriends. I fear that receiving anal sex from a guy would feel much more submissive than sex with a girl.
    That's a very childish way of thinking. You should remember that not all gay men are camp and queeny, plenty are very masculine too. All I can say to that is get over yourself really.
 
 
 
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