She is supposily str8 now, so why wont she leave my friend alone

Honestly, I think that anyone who can be abusive and controlling to someone is a bad person, period. There is absolutely nothing that excuses acting in this way, whether or not the person was cheated on, or anything else.

However, personal opinions aside, the best I can say about whether Melanie will leave her alone is 'maybe' - I doubt Melanie knows the answer to that herself, unfortunately.

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You can be in a abusive relationship for a longtime and once out of it , you have nothing to do with the abuser. That is natural course to take. What i am trying to establish is WHY Melanie constantly tries to engage with Jennifer , They have no money ties or biological ties ie; Children? Closure doesnt take over 2 years ?

Wait, it's only been two years? I feel like that might be your answer, that's not much time for closure if they were together for many years?

You're still trying to apply logic to an emotional situation, however, and emotions tend not to follow the trend of how they are expected to, because they're not a logical process.

I hear and truly appreciate what you have said Shadow. Although it is insightful , i guess i see it in Black and White. I am like if she can move on with a man and have a child with him then the emotional commitment was made therefore all what happened after show be at the back of her mind. I am not expecting her to forget , but meet up with Jennifer , thrash it out and be gone. Dont be lingering with it. What is the point as she has a new life. I know what your saying about logic but there comes a time where she has got to be like " What am i doing?" . I could potentially mess up what i have with my new partner?"

I think the issue is that people simply aren't black and white, they're complicated beings, and capable of many layers to them at any one time.

There will be a time she does that, yes, in the logical part of her mind, and sometimes that will be the frontrunner. Other times emotion will take over, and despite her likely having that logical thought in the back of her mind, the emotions will have the control.

I hope she does manage to move on from this though, for her own sake!

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Jennifer lives across the world from her , so i would of thought that will have made it much easier for Melanie to embrace her new life. Melanie once posted wanted to be with Jennifer and wanted her immediate ilife..She didnt say those exact words but picked a quote that was saying is. I hope she aint looking for Jennifer to part take in a poly r/ship. That is a discussing and selfish way to live

Jennifer lives across the world from her , so i would of thought that will have made it much easier for Melanie to embrace her new life. Melanie once posted wanted to be with Jennifer and wanted her immediate ilife..She didnt say those exact words but picked a quote that was saying is. I hope she aint looking for Jennifer to part take in a poly r/ship. That is a discussing and selfish way to live

It's not for you to judge. I'm sorry, but things are as they are. It's fair enough to want them apart for their own good, but you care more about the logistics of it all and your feelings for one of them. You have to let them live their own lives and make their own decisions, even if you can't understand them

i have this friend( Jennifer) who i have known for 40 years.She is bi and she feel in love with a woman(Melanie) - who is also bi.. anyways they had an on-off r/ship spanning over 15 years, during which time my friend was extremely abusive towards her , so she left my friend and went with a guy in attempts to get away from my friend. Even though my friend was abusive towards her, she truly did love her. I think she loved her too much.. Anyways they broke up and Jennifer moved away. Melanie then married a man and had a kid with him..I thought " Good, they finally have found lives with other people , they have no need to be in each others anymore". How wrong i was .. over the years Melanie has been constantly referring to Jennifer and even spoke about how bad Jennifer treated her . Melanie constantly boast about how happy she is with her husband and her kid I cannot understand why she keeps referring to Jennifer or mentioning anything in relation to Jennifer?..Surely if she is happy with her new found life with her husband and her child.Jennifer should be further from her thoughts?? Can anyone give me an explanation to this please?

Something tells me that Jennifer is you!