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My boyfriend is angry/has broken up. Just wanted advice Watch

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    I guess im not great at relationships. The one ive had with my bf has been on and off for a while. He is ok for a few weeks then gets angry/ignores me for a while thencontacts me again etc. He is quite a bit older than me. My fault is that i dont express affection well like im not a huggy/touchy feely type, i will ocassionally but it doesnt cone naturally to me. Things have been ok over the last few weeks we went to a wedding he paid for thd hotel and i promised to give him a bit of money towards it, as i drove us there. He said it doesnt matter but i feel bad as it cost him £170 for 1 night.

    Anyway this was the conversation by text yesterday:

    Me: R u training tday James, went in gym yesterday at 6 didnt c any1 else down.

    Him: We trained from 2 till 4.30 yesterday. Can train at 6 2nite if u want zoe

    Me: Ok yea I'l be down at 6

    Half an hour later:

    Him: I,am not comming l cant be botherd with it
    all.

    Me: Ok, I was like that a few weeks ago. R u ok, I was gonna give u a bit of money back towards that wedding/hotel I'l put it in ure letterbox on my way back if ure tired.

    Him: I dont want any ****ing money

    Me: Fine, what the ****s up with u. Is it my fault again

    Him: I said a few times l dident want any money, the hotel was mostly paid last Feb when l booked it. So dont upset me again by offering money. Said l cant be botherd with it all- meaning being with u, still havent had any proper affection from u (since Nov 2014) and thats so sad. Just got in from a steady training run, stretching now b4 my bath.

    Me: I didnt know offering money would upset u (even if u said no b4) was intended to help u for **** sake. I know im guilty of not showing affection even tho i feel it (yes its sad). Doesnt mean ive had lack of feelings.

    When i went to the sports club we go to today he walked past and ignored me. Should I resign myself to being single all my life lol. I never had a boyfriend till i was 26. I suppose even with family ive always shown i care through buying gifts and doing favours etc rather than through physical contact and words. Ive never been great socially. I mean i can be touchy feely etc but i feel im acting. My patents are never touchy feely/show physical affection to each other and have been together all their lives. Just wanted advice.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess im not great at relationships. The one ive had with my bf has been on and off for a while. He is ok for a few weeks then gets angry/ignores me for a while thencontacts me again etc. He is quite a bit older than me. My fault is that i dont express affection well like im not a huggy/touchy feely type, i will ocassionally but it doesnt cone naturally to me. Things have been ok over the last few weeks we went to a wedding he paid for thd hotel and i promised to give him a bit of money towards it, as i drove us there. He said it doesnt matter but i feel bad as it cost him £170 for 1 night.

    Anyway this was the conversation by text yesterday:

    Me: R u training tday James, went in gym yesterday at 6 didnt c any1 else down.

    Him: We trained from 2 till 4.30 yesterday. Can train at 6 2nite if u want zoe

    Me: Ok yea I'l be down at 6

    Half an hour later:

    Him: I,am not comming l cant be botherd with it
    all.

    Me: Ok, I was like that a few weeks ago. R u ok, I was gonna give u a bit of money back towards that wedding/hotel I'l put it in ure letterbox on my way back if ure tired.

    Him: I dont want any ****ing money

    Me: Fine, what the ****s up with u. Is it my fault again

    Him: I said a few times l dident want any money, the hotel was mostly paid last Feb when l booked it. So dont upset me again by offering money. Said l cant be botherd with it all- meaning being with u, still havent had any proper affection from u (since Nov 2014) and thats so sad. Just got in from a steady training run, stretching now b4 my bath.

    Me: I didnt know offering money would upset u (even if u said no b4) was intended to help u for **** sake. I know im guilty of not showing affection even tho i feel it (yes its sad). Doesnt mean ive had lack of feelings.

    When i went to the sports club we go to today he walked past and ignored me. Should I resign myself to being single all my life lol. I never had a boyfriend till i was 26. I suppose even with family ive always shown i care through buying gifts and doing favours etc rather than through physical contact and words. Ive never been great socially. I mean i can be touchy feely etc but i feel im acting. My patents are never touchy feely/show physical affection to each other and have been together all their lives. Just wanted advice.
    Slightly irrational of him to get upset at that, though if for example you've offered 10 times before and he's said no each time then I can see how that would trigger it.


    I guess you're just not compatible with someone who wants physical intimacy. Whether you have to practice and get used to it or not, I don't know. Maybe you need to try and find someone on a similar wavelength.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess im not great at relationships. The one ive had with my bf has been on and off for a while. He is ok for a few weeks then gets angry/ignores me for a while thencontacts me again etc. He is quite a bit older than me. My fault is that i dont express affection well like im not a huggy/touchy feely type, i will ocassionally but it doesnt cone naturally to me. Things have been ok over the last few weeks we went to a wedding he paid for thd hotel and i promised to give him a bit of money towards it, as i drove us there. He said it doesnt matter but i feel bad as it cost him £170 for 1 night.

    Anyway this was the conversation by text yesterday:

    Me: R u training tday James, went in gym yesterday at 6 didnt c any1 else down.

    Him: We trained from 2 till 4.30 yesterday. Can train at 6 2nite if u want zoe

    Me: Ok yea I'l be down at 6

    Half an hour later:

    Him: I,am not comming l cant be botherd with it
    all.

    Me: Ok, I was like that a few weeks ago. R u ok, I was gonna give u a bit of money back towards that wedding/hotel I'l put it in ure letterbox on my way back if ure tired.

    Him: I dont want any ****ing money

    Me: Fine, what the ****s up with u. Is it my fault again

    Him: I said a few times l dident want any money, the hotel was mostly paid last Feb when l booked it. So dont upset me again by offering money. Said l cant be botherd with it all- meaning being with u, still havent had any proper affection from u (since Nov 2014) and thats so sad. Just got in from a steady training run, stretching now b4 my bath.

    Me: I didnt know offering money would upset u (even if u said no b4) was intended to help u for **** sake. I know im guilty of not showing affection even tho i feel it (yes its sad). Doesnt mean ive had lack of feelings.

    When i went to the sports club we go to today he walked past and ignored me. Should I resign myself to being single all my life lol. I never had a boyfriend till i was 26. I suppose even with family ive always shown i care through buying gifts and doing favours etc rather than through physical contact and words. Ive never been great socially. I mean i can be touchy feely etc but i feel im acting. My patents are never touchy feely/show physical affection to each other and have been together all their lives. Just wanted advice.
    Don't break up with him. I think what has happened is that because you are saying your parents don't show affection, somehow it has lead you to not be that affectionate. It's seems as if you believe that being together is what counts, but in reality you need to have affection, so you might want to talk it out with him.
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    Wait... you're 26 and putting up with a partner who acts like this? This is high school crap... not for adult relationships. Honestly, don't sell yourself short. Ditch this guy and find someone who treats you with some respect and who you're more compatible with.
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    (Original post by TheAlchemistress)
    Don't break up with him. I think what has happened is that because you are saying your parents don't show affection, somehow it has lead you to not be that affectionate. It's seems as if you believe that being together is what counts, but in reality you need to have affection, so you might want to talk it out with him.
    That could be so, what I also meant was some couples are not touchy fely and it works yet others can be allover each other holding hands etc but be split up by the following week. I sent that last text and have not heard fromhim since. This has been happening over 2 years he has broken up then changed his mind etc. im thinking its best to wait and see if he replies but last time after he sent quite an insulting text he didnt reply for 3 weeks.

    To the person whomade the other post yes it is a bit like high school.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess im not great at relationships. The one ive had with my bf has been on and off for a while. He is ok for a few weeks then gets angry/ignores me for a while thencontacts me again etc. He is quite a bit older than me. My fault is that i dont express affection well like im not a huggy/touchy feely type, i will ocassionally but it doesnt cone naturally to me. Things have been ok over the last few weeks we went to a wedding he paid for thd hotel and i promised to give him a bit of money towards it, as i drove us there. He said it doesnt matter but i feel bad as it cost him £170 for 1 night.

    Anyway this was the conversation by text yesterday:

    Me: R u training tday James, went in gym yesterday at 6 didnt c any1 else down.

    Him: We trained from 2 till 4.30 yesterday. Can train at 6 2nite if u want zoe

    Me: Ok yea I'l be down at 6

    Half an hour later:

    Him: I,am not comming l cant be botherd with it
    all.

    Me: Ok, I was like that a few weeks ago. R u ok, I was gonna give u a bit of money back towards that wedding/hotel I'l put it in ure letterbox on my way back if ure tired.

    Him: I dont want any ****ing money

    Me: Fine, what the ****s up with u. Is it my fault again

    Him: I said a few times l dident want any money, the hotel was mostly paid last Feb when l booked it. So dont upset me again by offering money. Said l cant be botherd with it all- meaning being with u, still havent had any proper affection from u (since Nov 2014) and thats so sad. Just got in from a steady training run, stretching now b4 my bath.

    Me: I didnt know offering money would upset u (even if u said no b4) was intended to help u for **** sake. I know im guilty of not showing affection even tho i feel it (yes its sad). Doesnt mean ive had lack of feelings.

    When i went to the sports club we go to today he walked past and ignored me. Should I resign myself to being single all my life lol. I never had a boyfriend till i was 26. I suppose even with family ive always shown i care through buying gifts and doing favours etc rather than through physical contact and words. Ive never been great socially. I mean i can be touchy feely etc but i feel im acting. My patents are never touchy feely/show physical affection to each other and have been together all their lives. Just wanted advice.
    your not you when your hungry, EAT A SNICKERS!
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    Just break up then, he wants more affection and he's not getting it so he'll continue to complain
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That could be so, what I also meant was some couples are not touchy fely and it works yet others can be allover each other holding hands etc but be split up by the following week. I sent that last text and have not heard fromhim since. This has been happening over 2 years he has broken up then changed his mind etc. im thinking its best to wait and see if he replies but last time after he sent quite an insulting text he didnt reply for 3 weeks.

    To the person whomade the other post yes it is a bit like high school.
    See how it goes and be affectionate, if no change then sorry you might want to break up.
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    He replied. Sorry for posting it on here. Im aware it could be classed as immature and dont usually show people but I suppose to get advice i wanted others to have a peek into the situation. Of course it doesnt give the full story but gives a little of it and maybe you could advise if im somehow winding him up without knowing it?

    He replied: Off course it means a lack off feelings. U have no feelings only for animals anyway. Noticed u dident warm up or stretched b4 training again, (sick of saying again) what the hell is wrong with u, u have just come back from an injury. U should have been at the track early (always) to allow for it, like John and his young son does. Not like the numskulls like Steven & Jim.

    Me: I do have feeling, for example when angry i dont always show that either. I actually did a lap jog warm up, a few lunges plus the strides on the indoor track.

    Him: Sorry Zoe, its all BS

    Me: Yea thats why theres no point me sayin much or giving an opinion, it only gets shot down.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He replied. Sorry for posting it on here. Im aware it could be classed as immature and dont usually show people but I suppose to get advice i wanted others to have a peek into the situation. Of course it doesnt give the full story but gives a little of it and maybe you could advise if im somehow winding him up without knowing it?

    He replied: Off course it means a lack off feelings. U have no feelings only for animals anyway. Noticed u dident warm up or stretched b4 training again, (sick of saying again) what the hell is wrong with u, u have just come back from an injury. U should have been at the track early (always) to allow for it, like John and his young son does. Not like the numskulls like Steven & Jim.

    Me: I do have feeling, for example when angry i dont always show that either. I actually did a lap jog warm up, a few lunges plus the strides on the indoor track.

    Him: Sorry Zoe, its all BS

    Me: Yea thats why theres no point me sayin much or giving an opinion, it only gets shot down.
    OP seriously you are not doing anything, and I didn't mean you were immature, you're clearly staying remarkably calm given how unreasonable and childish your boyfriend is acting...

    There are nice ways to express himself and not nice. My boyfriend nags me to do my rehab exercises as I'm also coming back from injury but he'll give me a gentle prod, he'd never go off saying things like 'what the hell is wrong with you' and having a go about it - it's my life. It's the same with the money thing, he can politely say he is set on paying and would rather you didn't bring it up, but there's no reason to kick off about it.

    I would not put up with being spoken to like that.
 
 
 
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