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Spoiler
1.
You don't "have autism" - it's not a disease you can get rid of, or a plugin that got accidentally installed on your brain. You are autistic. Own it, treat it as a part of yourself that makes you who you are, because that's what it is; not a disorder you can pretend not to have.
2.
Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not them and they are not you. You are you, and nobody else.
3.
Your expectations are too high and too long-term. Look in the here-and-now, and let whatever comes next look after itself.
4.
No it doesn't, yet you obviously continue trying which means (a) you can't accept that it doesn't work, and (b) you're going to come across as desperate, whatever you say in your messages.