Feeling extremely lonely in London, any advice? Watch

rri14
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Hi everyone,
This will probably sound very embarrassing, but I've been living in London for nearly 5 years (on and off) and I'm still struggling with loneliness which has affected my mental health to quite a large extent. I moved to London by myself when I was 18 to study at university and despite being madly in love with the city, I still had an awful time dealing with loneliness which led to isolation, anxiety and depression. I'm now at my first full-time job post-graduation, working the 9-til-5 and finding it even more difficult to meet people. I don't have any family or close friends in London and apart from a couple of acquaintances from university that I still keep in touch with occasionally and my bosses at work who I'm friendly with (but don't hang out with) I'm living a bit of a hermit life. It's just really depressing. I'm young, friendly and outgoing, so very keen to meet new people, and although I'm not into the clubbing scene, I'm up for going out and having fun. It was my choice to move to London and I don't regret it so it's not because of homesickness or missing my parents or anything like that. I just feel incredibly lonely, and I think I'm starting to suffer from depression again. I feel like I can't get close to anyone or make a genuine, lasting connection. I don't really have the time/money for hobbies, and I don't really feel safe going out in my area after dark which doesn't help. I've done the whole exploring alone thing, but it's just made me sadder that I'm by myself. I've also signed up for meetups and facebook groups in London but I don't have the courage to go to any event/meeting by myself. The only interactions with people I get are at work and from shopkeepers, doctors or hairdressers.
So anyone who's been in the same situation, or Londoners in general, do you have any advice?
Thank you.
R.
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agentradical
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(Original post by rri14)
Hi everyone,
This will probably sound very embarrassing, but I've been living in London for nearly 5 years (on and off) and I'm still struggling with loneliness which has affected my mental health to quite a large extent. I moved to London by myself when I was 18 to study at university and despite being madly in love with the city, I still had an awful time dealing with loneliness which led to isolation, anxiety and depression. I'm now at my first full-time job post-graduation, working the 9-til-5 and finding it even more difficult to meet people. I don't have any family or close friends in London and apart from a couple of acquaintances from university that I still keep in touch with occasionally and my bosses at work who I'm friendly with (but don't hang out with) I'm living a bit of a hermit life. It's just really depressing. I'm young, friendly and outgoing, so very keen to meet new people, and although I'm not into the clubbing scene, I'm up for going out and having fun. It was my choice to move to London and I don't regret it so it's not because of homesickness or missing my parents or anything like that. I just feel incredibly lonely, and I think I'm starting to suffer from depression again. I feel like I can't get close to anyone or make a genuine, lasting connection. I don't really have the time/money for hobbies, and I don't really feel safe going out in my area after dark which doesn't help. I've done the whole exploring alone thing, but it's just made me sadder that I'm by myself. I've also signed up for meetups and facebook groups in London but I don't have the courage to go to any event/meeting by myself. The only interactions with people I get are at work and from shopkeepers, doctors or hairdressers.
So anyone who's been in the same situation, or Londoners in general, do you have any advice?
Thank you.
R.
Not too much advice in general, except to say that unless you're in a crazy job (and you say 9 to 5, so I assume not) you definitely do have time for hobbies. If you think that people manage to work full-time, spend time with family and still make some time for friends. Money is a different thing.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by rri14)
Hi everyone,
This will probably sound very embarrassing, but I've been living in London for nearly 5 years (on and off) and I'm still struggling with loneliness which has affected my mental health to quite a large extent. I moved to London by myself when I was 18 to study at university and despite being madly in love with the city, I still had an awful time dealing with loneliness which led to isolation, anxiety and depression. I'm now at my first full-time job post-graduation, working the 9-til-5 and finding it even more difficult to meet people. I don't have any family or close friends in London and apart from a couple of acquaintances from university that I still keep in touch with occasionally and my bosses at work who I'm friendly with (but don't hang out with) I'm living a bit of a hermit life. It's just really depressing. I'm young, friendly and outgoing, so very keen to meet new people, and although I'm not into the clubbing scene, I'm up for going out and having fun. It was my choice to move to London and I don't regret it so it's not because of homesickness or missing my parents or anything like that. I just feel incredibly lonely, and I think I'm starting to suffer from depression again. I feel like I can't get close to anyone or make a genuine, lasting connection. I don't really have the time/money for hobbies, and I don't really feel safe going out in my area after dark which doesn't help. I've done the whole exploring alone thing, but it's just made me sadder that I'm by myself. I've also signed up for meetups and facebook groups in London but I don't have the courage to go to any event/meeting by myself. The only interactions with people I get are at work and from shopkeepers, doctors or hairdressers.
So anyone who's been in the same situation, or Londoners in general, do you have any advice?
Thank you.
R.
You on a grad scheme? What about colleagues your age? You say you went to a London uni- surely there must be some of your uni friends working in London too? Bite the bullet and turn up to a meetup alone. Ask yourself what's the worst that could happen? The meetups are there for a reason; people are in the same boat as you.
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markova21
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Is there some sort of hobby you could take up that interests you? Something where you do it with other people, but doesn't cost too much money? Do you like dancing? Pineapple on Langley Street in Covent Garden have drop in, pay as you go classes ranging from beginners to professionals in everything from Classical Ballet,Tap to Salsa. They are not expensive. Or maybe you are interested in Astronomy? You could find out where your nearest group is and tag along. It wouldn't be long before you made friends. Or a film or book club of some sort. Do you read Time Out? There would be lots of activities and events listed weekly in there, catering for different tastes. I think it would be far easier making friends and getting the opportunity to chat to people at an interest group like one of these than in a bar or a club. Good luck.
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Anonymous #2
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OP try meetup.com I live in Edinburgh and there is loads of meetups and London will be even better srsly there is a meet up for like every interest there
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username2243339
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That's London for you.
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Khanman123
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Go gym, make friends( and some GAINZ) then ur life's sorted.
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Abarbs
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Tabled is an app for meeting other students over a meal in London. I've met some really fun people through it
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ShelleysGhost
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I don't have any advice, but I am in a similar situation
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rri14
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(Original post by ShelleysGhost)
I don't have any advice, but I am in a similar situation
Hi. Thanks for your message. Let's meet up then! Do you live in London?
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Joly.B
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Hi R., I see that your post is from some time ago but I decided to give it a go. I am in a fairly similar position. I did my placement year in London and I was so excited to come back but now that I got my first job post-graduation I feel pretty lonely even though I am normally up for doing things and visiting places. Let me know if you still keep an eye on the discussion and if so, we can chat a bit and see if we click
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ANM775
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it's relatively easy to meet new people eager to socialise in London

something tells me you've not been trying that hard OP

it's as simple as typing make friends in London into google and signing upto and turning up to those
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allesk
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Joly.B rri14

Hey thought I'd jump on this as I'm in a very similar position! I know there are a lot of things to get involved with in London (love it for that reason) but it is daunting to make that first step. Would be good to chat to others feeling the same. Drop me a message if you want
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Hamza A Rajputt
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Well I'm in the same situation guys pretty lonely and looking for friends is anyone up for a cup of coffee?
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megs_m
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I am in exactly same situation here in London I don't have any solution. I became very depressed too. I have noone really.
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Haiiyaa
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Hey there,
It's been over a year since you posted this so hopefully things have changed for you. But if you still need some advice, I suggest you go to local churches when they have masses or some events and meet people there. You can also go to UCL on Friday nights. They have lectures that are open for free to the public. Most of the attendees are college or university students but there are some older people. And if you find that you can afford language classes, then join! If you want to learn French, go to the embassy. Or you can learn other languages at SOAS. I've found that people you meet in language classes are super friendly. Must be because everyone feels awkward trying to pronounce things right lol. If you have a favorite band or book or whatever, look for groups and meetups on FB or twitter. You said you are only in touch with a few people from uni but don't be afraid to hit other people up! Chances are they are in the same situation as you. As with people from your workplace, try to befriend people from another department. Since you don't see each other at work that often, it'll be like having a friend from outside.

That's all I can think of now haha.
(I'm surprised with myself cos I generally consider myself a homebody but I've been meeting loads of new people like this unknowingly lol)

Good luck!
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michaelGscott
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There are probably a few swingers clubs in and around London, I've heard people get really close and friendly in them
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username3089818
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(Original post by rri14)
Hi everyone,
This will probably sound very embarrassing, but I've been living in London for nearly 5 years (on and off) and I'm still struggling with loneliness which has affected my mental health to quite a large extent. I moved to London by myself when I was 18 to study at university and despite being madly in love with the city, I still had an awful time dealing with loneliness which led to isolation, anxiety and depression. I'm now at my first full-time job post-graduation, working the 9-til-5 and finding it even more difficult to meet people. I don't have any family or close friends in London and apart from a couple of acquaintances from university that I still keep in touch with occasionally and my bosses at work who I'm friendly with (but don't hang out with) I'm living a bit of a hermit life. It's just really depressing. I'm young, friendly and outgoing, so very keen to meet new people, and although I'm not into the clubbing scene, I'm up for going out and having fun. It was my choice to move to London and I don't regret it so it's not because of homesickness or missing my parents or anything like that. I just feel incredibly lonely, and I think I'm starting to suffer from depression again. I feel like I can't get close to anyone or make a genuine, lasting connection. I don't really have the time/money for hobbies, and I don't really feel safe going out in my area after dark which doesn't help. I've done the whole exploring alone thing, but it's just made me sadder that I'm by myself. I've also signed up for meetups and facebook groups in London but I don't have the courage to go to any event/meeting by myself. The only interactions with people I get are at work and from shopkeepers, doctors or hairdressers.
So anyone who's been in the same situation, or Londoners in general, do you have any advice?
Thank you.
R.
Join clubs,volunteer at shelter/hospital/youth clubs
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lanben
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Hey, I just came across this thread by searching into Google
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lanben
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I just came across this thread by typing into Google, I feel so lonely in London, and I could not relate to it more if I tried. It's like I wrote the thing. I guess its just hard trying to find people who are on your level. And even more frustrating if you know you're a sociable person
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