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My son's father died 10 years ago tomorrow. AMA. Watch

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    (Original post by markova21)
    Thank you Claire. Yes, he has said he is a few times. [ Or words to that effect] ! Sean was ten. Ironically the same age as me when my dad died. And the same age as my grandfather when HIS father died.
    It's good that he's told you, I guess you both can really appreciate that you should say those things because you don't know when you ll lose them. Hopefully no one else in the family will lose anyone so young, I ve always had people give me a sense of awkwardness when I tell them I was 9, it's only those who ve dealt with it themselves recognise that people unfortunately do die even if you re a child.
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    (Original post by markova21)
    Don't really like Ferrero's that much. Granted i'd eat them if I was desperate for chocolate and there was nothing else in !! BTW, you DO know i'm female, don't you?
    Lindor is the SHEBANG!
    Yh I know your female but i can't really say "respect girl, respect" cause that don't sound right.
    SETTLE WITH BRO!
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    (Original post by markova21)
    I've never done one of these ask me anythings before. Been on tsr practically all day today. Just trying to take my mind off things. Anyway feel free to ask me anything about him or what happened, if you want. P.S. Even though he's been on my mind, it no longer upsets me, so don't worry.
    Thinking of you & your family at this difficult time.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    It's good that he's told you, I guess you both can really appreciate that you should say those things because you don't know when you ll lose them. Hopefully no one else in the family will lose anyone so young, I ve always had people give me a sense of awkwardness when I tell them I was 9, it's only those who ve dealt with it themselves recognise that people unfortunately do die even if you re a child.
    I agree.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    Thinking of you & your family at this difficult time.
    Thank you so much !
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    What was your ex like before you had a child with him?
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    (Original post by apeshit007)
    Lindor is the SHEBANG!
    Yh I know your female but i can't really say "respect girl, respect" cause that don't sound right.
    SETTLE WITH BRO!
    LOL. Fair enough.
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    (Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
    What was your ex like before you had a child with him?
    He was lovely. A real gentleman. Old fashioned values, which I like, like holding the door open for me. Not swearing in front of me, etc. I used to work nights, and in the morning when I got home, he would have done the mopping, Hoovering and dusting, and have the dinner's potatoes and veg peeled and prepared in their pans with water all ready. If it was winter I would walk in and there would be a lovely coal fire lit.
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    (Original post by markova21)
    He was lovely. A real gentleman. Old fashioned values, which I like, like holding the door open for me. Not swearing in front of me, etc. I used to work nights, and in the morning when I got home, he would have done the mopping, Hoovering and dusting, and have the dinner's potatoes and veg peeled and prepared in their pans with water all ready. If it was winter I would walk in and there would be a lovely coal fire lit.
    Strange how he changed.
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    (Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
    Strange how he changed.
    This was how he was all the time when he was sober. But he couldn't stay sober and every six months, like clockwork he went back on the drink. Then the violence, aggression etc would start. He slapped our son really hard across the face one day simply because our son couldn't remember a certain piano note he had been taught the week before. He had only ever been to three piano lessons and was only eight years old. B astard. How I didn't stick a knife in him that day I don't know. So as you can see he was a real Jeckyll and Hyde.
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    How are you and your son getting on? :hugs:
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    (Original post by markova21)
    I've never done one of these ask me anythings before. Been on tsr practically all day today. Just trying to take my mind off things. Anyway feel free to ask me anything about him or what happened, if you want. P.S. Even though he's been on my mind, it no longer upsets me, so don't worry.
    That's really sad, I'm so sorry : < *hugs* How long did it take you to move on?
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    (Original post by markova21)
    This was how he was all the time when he was sober. But he couldn't stay sober and every six months, like clockwork he went back on the drink. Then the violence, aggression etc would start. He slapped our son really hard across the face one day simply because our son couldn't remember a certain piano note he had been taught the week before. He had only ever been to three piano lessons and was only eight years old. B astard. How I didn't stick a knife in him that day I don't know. So as you can see he was a real Jeckyll and Hyde.
    So...was he also a violent alcoholic (when not sober) before you had a child with him?
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    That's really sad, I'm so sorry : < *hugs* How long did it take you to move on?
    It wasn't too bad because we were not together for the last few years. We just kept things [ sort of] civilised for the sake of our son. I was more his carer than anything else whenever he went back on the drink. But walking into his house and finding him stone cold dead. That took a LONG time. I kept seeing him lay there, face down for ages every time I closed my eyes.
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    (Original post by markova21)
    It wasn't too bad because we were not together for the last few years. We just kept things [ sort of] civilised for the sake of our son. I was more his carer than anything else whenever he went back on the drink. But walking into his house and finding him stone cold dead. That took a LONG time. I kept seeing him lay there, face down for ages every time I closed my eyes.
    Ah, I see... I can imagine : <
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    (Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
    So...was he also a violent alcoholic (when not sober) before you had a child with him?
    No. I knew he was an alcoholic. But he was my first serious relationship and I didn't really understand what alcoholism meant. He had been sober for a good while when I first met him. We started off as pen friends. The first time he hit me I was four months pregnant. I left him and moved back in with my mum in England. Then foolishly went back to him after my mum died. He convinced me we should all be together as a family and that our son needed his father around etc.
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    (Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
    How are you and your son getting on? :hugs:
    Hi Nirvana how are you?? We're doing OK thanks. Disappointed he won't be going off to Uni in September, but it's his life. It's his friend's birthday today and he has gone round there. I think they are just going to stay in and watch some DVD's.
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    (Original post by markova21)
    No. I knew he was an alcoholic. But he was my first serious relationship and I didn't really understand what alcoholism meant. He had been sober for a good while when I first met him. We started off as pen friends. The first time he hit me I was four months pregnant. I left him and moved back in with my mum in England. Then foolishly went back to him after my mum died. He convinced me we should all be together as a family and that our son needed his father around etc.
    Thats a rough past. Hopefully the future has better times ahead for you and your son.
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    (Original post by markova21)
    Hi Nirvana how are you?? We're doing OK thanks. Disappointed he won't be going off to Uni in September, but it's his life. It's his friend's birthday today and he has gone round there. I think they are just going to stay in and watch some DVD's.
    Hi Markova21, I'm good thanks.

    I'm glad you're okay.

    Aww, what happened? and what is he doing instead?

    That's nice.
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    (Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
    Thats a rough past. Hopefully the future has better times ahead for you and your son.
    Thank you !
 
 
 
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