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Strangest, funniest or outrageous things you have seen at school/uni [Golden thread] Watch

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    Last year sometime me and 4 of my mates were in my maths teachers room at lunch. He'd gone to get us some extra work and we were supposed to be sat waiting for him. One of my mates decided to get a big bouncy ball out (the really jumpy ones). Proceed to a game of playing bouncy ball throw and catch. My best mate then decides to bounce it on the floor under a panel light. 5 seconds later it smashes. Maths teacher walks in. Not our best look. We were really apologetic and he wasn't too bothered ( he didn't have to pay for it )

    Another time a girl **** herself all over the floor. **** me, that was bloody awful 😷
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    I must have been in year ten. There was a whole school assembly, so around 800 people in the hall. This one kid from my year was making a speech, with regards to what he will be doing in his new brown-nosing role of supporting teachers.

    He wanted to say "we will give headteachers a lot of support" but ended up saying "we will give HEAD..." with a massive pause. Everyone laughed for minutes straight and the assembly had to be cancelled because we ran out of time.
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    Story 1:
    One that involved me actually! A boy in my high school chemistry thought it was funny to keep punching me in the arm and generally annoying me and distracting me from work. Now at this point was a the goodie-two-shoes and was horrified at the idea of doing something to retaliate.

    The boy sitting on my other side was all "you have to do something" and when I didn't do something I think it was about 20 minutes later, he picked up one of the mathematical compasses on the desk in front of us (the metal ones with the really long spike) walked over to the first kid and jammed it in his arm.

    How he got to be head boy two years later I will never understand!
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    This story is one of mine.

    So I was in reception, and as a kid my parents went to the pub every saturday to have a drink whilst me and my brother got to play with other kids in the pubs playground.

    I was best at English whilst in reception, so for the little parents presentation they were holding of us, they asked me to write a sentence on a whiteboard of something I like to do, so they could take a picture of it and insert it into the presentation.

    You can imagine my mums embarrassment when a week later, a picture of me appears on a presentation in front of an entire classroom of parents, holding up a whiteboard saying "I like to go to the pub"

    To be fair, all the other parents found it hilarious.
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    Bunch of guys dressed as Smurfs got on my bus to Uni

    Was kinda funny
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    There are some things you can see/hear about in a private American school
    • Year 10s offering pot to random Year 13s in the bathroom (this happened to a friend of mine)
    • A guy hiding in the girls changing room and masturbating WHILE girls are changing (he got expelled)
    • My TOK (Theory of Knowledge a.k.a a branch of philosophy) trying to explain that porn can be considered an art form while constantly checking that no one is going to walk into the class
    • Debates always somehow getting really heated and out of hand especially when concerning Trump, abortion, Catalonian Independence (this is in Barcelona) which always somehow finishes in tables and chair getting knocked over and thrown around
    • Throwing eggs off the rooftop terrace in 'protective capsules' for physics
    • "The permanent ink **** cat" (so mature...)
    • Love hate relationships between teachers and certain students ending up in the teacher walking out of the class
    • Clear and obvious favouritism between certain students and teachers/administrator
    • GRADE DETENTIONS
    • My year 12 IB Chemistry teacher blankly staring at the PowerPoint for 3-5 minutes before what is reading out on the presentation and refusing to answer our questions about the topic (we came to the conclusion that he had no idea what he was teaching)
    • Using a wireless mouse to mess with a teacher's computer during her lesson
    • Messing with substitutes in general (all the time, especially when we had three sets of twins in our year)
    • Our year 11 history teacher forcing us to give him our bit of our food if we DARED eat in class
    • My Spanish teacher searching google in google
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    Lol me and my friend were playing games of Rock Paper & Scissors for about 20 minutes in a row, so hyped and so lit and the whole class was just looking at us, including the teacher - but we never knew until I beat him 3 times in a row to win and we looked around lol. The face my teacher gave lol - she was about to shoot us.
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    At the back of maths class- my friend and I, with the unparalleled highest grades in the year, are discussing intellectual burns (naturally).

    "If I wanted to commit suicide, I'd jump off your ego onto your IQ!"
    "You think? I reckon the range of our IQ's is greater than the mean, mode, and median!"

    Test results are coming back in, and she's got an entire section wrong.

    "Damn. I thought 8 plus 4 was 13."

    And then there's this gem from the deputy head:

    "This is a GRAMMAR school, so if you WAS disgracing this institute, YOU'LL better come forward!"
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    The school I went to was called Marlwood. I remember in year 9 (I think) the school made the decision to cut down a couple of trees, and all the students protested against it, there was even a "strike" where people protested them being cut down. People kept putting posters around the school with "Marl no wood" written on.

    It all just seem surreal! I don't think people really cared about the trees, they just wanted to make a fuss for the sake of it.
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    A joke I heard in the school corridor, it's a little bit insensitive but still it was funny.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    The cleaners were cleaning out the school toilets, one kid turns to their friend and says "Smell that? It's my favourite drink". The other kid replies "What bleach?" The whole corridor burst out laughing as the kid who was trying to make fun of the cleaners, got owned!

    Moral of the story: Respect all members of staff
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    That day when we had not one, not two, but three real fires!
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    More pregnancies in Y11 than you can count. (And more abortions)
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    It was a few years before me but two boys were in class. One was being really annoying amd wouldn't shut up so the boy next to him grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed all the way through his hand right into the desk.
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    Teacher fingering herself in lesson
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    At bio A2 support my teacher just came up to my desk (there were only 2 of us dumb ones) and took out a chick from a blazer and it was so cute and fluffy and the exam was in a week and we were both so stressed and just holding this little tiny pre-kfc was perfect to de-stress
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    A supply Geography teacher in Year 8 told us that he was going to bring in a Rifle and shoot us all. Then he proceeded to pick up a chair, throw it at the wall, breaking off all 4 legs. He was also in a Welsh Band, and showed us a clip of him in his garage with his friends singing songs called "We killed the Dragon" and "In me shed".

    Also had a teacher called Mr Urak. Place 'unt' at the end of his name, and imagine the chants our class had...

    Had a German science teacher in Year 9, called Dr Bernstein. She called everyone Sugar/Honey Puff, and any experiments involving gas taps were too much for our class to handle. She left 3 weeks later (when I say left, I mean fired because she was so bad).

    IT teacher in Year 9 shredded all of our homework in front of us, whilst proceeding to teach us a BTEC in IT, even though our school hasn't ever offered that course... She left a few months later as well.

    Was also taught 2 months of BTEC Business Studies, before our teacher was sacked and we began to do the GCSE Business Studies we had all signed up to do.

    More recently, having just come out of a GCSE exam, went into the toilet and heard a 5 minute conversation from a guy about where his drug stash was, his supplier etc. Even though he heard me come in, he knew that 'Snitches get Stitches', so doesn't even care about other people knowing

    So glad I'm leaving in September
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    a teacher kissing a girl in prom
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    myself in the mirror
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    During exam season my sister's uni had a petting zoo brought in to help destress students. She told me that during one of their lab sessions someone brought in a baby goat they had sneaked away from the zoo.
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    1. One time in assembly one of the girls from our neighbouring form had a fit in assembly, her back arching over the back of the chair and her eyes rolling in their sockets. It was pretty scary, they evacuated the row behind her and the students to the sides of her. I was sitting two rows back and so saw everything.

    2. One of the boys in my form got into trouble for selling beer out of his school locker. They caught him because some of the cans had leaked when he was transporting them to his locker, meaning his bag (and by extension himself) reeked of beer.

    3. A boy named Chris who was a year or so above me - when I was in about year 10 - went on a violent rampage through the school at the end of the lunch break, meaning that the lunchtime supervisors were sending everyone to their forms for safety. I did not know this, as I was printing something last-minute in the library and so was walking to my form when a staff member came up to me and told me to go to my form quickly. I was running a little late, but not enough for it to be punishable, so I confusedly walked back to form, where one of my classmates was waiting anxiously by the door and telling me to get in quick. Another one of my classmates told me what was going on, and that they thought I'd got hurt since I was the only one not present. It was quite nice to know that they cared! Eventually he was stopped by one of the PE teachers who was a rugby player and who tackled the boy to the ground to prevent him from hurting anyone else - he'd injured a few people, albeit not seriously.

    4. In year 8 we had a geography teacher who practically never spoke and just left instructions for us to copy notes/do worksheets up on the board. There was a group of four of us who had finished all of the work and so we naturally got bored. We decided to play "highlighter dominoes", which was tricky to get a run to fall down properly, given we all had different sizes and brands of highlighter, so it took us a few goes to get it right. When we did, we all let out a cheer, almost forgetting where we were in our jubilation, and the look the teacher gave us could have killed us all!
 
 
 
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