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Strangest, funniest or outrageous things you have seen at school/uni [Golden thread] Watch

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    Most outrageous: While at the primary school I attended in Australia *back in 2008*, my lovely teacher for year 4 was off ill and we had a substitute teacher- unfortunately I have forgotten his name but I will never forget what he did to my friends . Lets call him Mr T.
    So, we were doing at outdoor activity measuring the length of our classroom from the outside or something with measuring tapes. And our class turns around to find Mr T holding a boy in my class up strangling him against the wall with his hands around the boys neck.. obviously we were scared shitless so my class ran back into the classroom and then Mr T came storming in, slapped my friend Maud. I think one of the people in my class told another teacher because then the headteacher was notified and then it literally became like a police station. Each and every one of us in our class was interviewed about what happened and had to say the direction of the slap what hand outsie with the boy, what the other children were saying.. needless to say 'Mr T' was never to be seen again.
    Oh then my friend Maud moved back to France and I have a feeling part of that was because of the slap....
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    I don't think any of these are particularly extreme, but these are mine:

    1: In Science we'd been discussing nanoparticles and the teacher was just talking about how they could be used to blow things up, when the fire alarm went off. It was an ongoing joke for the rest of the year in our class.

    2: A PE teacher set the fire alarm off once by burning toast in her office.

    3: During exams last year a pigeon flew into the hall, and the teachers couldn't get it out.

    4: This year an invigilator fainted at the beginning of an exam.
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    1. In year 7, I remember these 'chavs' in my class that would mess around in Spanish. One of them jumped out of the window on purpose, unfortunately it was on the ground floor.
    2. We also had someone who kept doing the fire alarm, so we ended up having like 5 fire drills in a week.
    3. My a level chemistry teacher set the fire alarm off for doing a thermite experiment that went a little too far.
    4. I think I was in year 7 and I couldn't get any universal indicator out. I kept squeezing until eventually it exploded and went in peoples eyes.
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    In primary school, I had a teacher who took my class sometimes and tried to convince us that you could mix green and blue to make yellow.
    I remember that in my year, there was someone who always ate fruit at 11am in class, no matter which class it was. My English teacher once noticed and just stared as this person ate a banana, unaware that it wasn't usual to eat a banana in the middle of class.
    At the leaver's assembly for sixth form at my school, my head of sixth form had awards. One was 'Services to the pharmaceutical and tobacco industries'.
    Allegedly someone at my school was using an unused locker to grow illegal drugs.
    We had someone who spent all their study periods playing Fallout 4. The Head of 6th Form once stood behind them for ten minutes as they played, oblivious.
    Someone once pulled a knife on someone else in an argument over what song to play for something.
    We gave the invigilators nicknames and then someone accidentally called them the nickname when they went to vote and that person was the officer for the polling station.
    There was a jar of olives in the study centre that, over 6 months, went from being on top of the vending machine to next to the cafeteria till to atop the coffee machine.
    Someone once called the head of sixth from Greg Davies to his face.
    A group decorated the study centre for Christmas and put a picture of Jeremy Corbyn in a Santa hat on one of the pillars.
    During exams, someone put pictures of Ainsley Harriott around the school. My drama exam featured a group who had built a cardboard car, and someone covered it with Ainsley Harriott photos. They didn't realise.
    I went on a history trip to a conference where a speaker my history teacher liked was speaking at. Approximately 50 history students got masks with this guy's face on it and we freaked out a few drivers as we wore them. History students in general at my school were slightly strange.
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    The first 14 years of my schooling were quite boring, however whenever I went to a college in Belfast for a year we did have the fun of having a bomb threat called in, which meant all the college's campuses across the city had to evacuate as paramilitaries were unhappy they were hosting a police recruitment day, the next day. It took about 90 minutes before we were told we could go back in, but by then about half of the people had just left on the several mile long detour to try and work out a way home xD
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    There were a few at my school and college, including a couple I got involved with.

    First was the time I'd been trying to break up a fight between two girls I knew, one lunchtime. One was in my year and the other was in the year below. One of the senior staff (an assistant head or something) came alone at the end of the break, to try and break it up too. Said ass't head did not like me one bit. The girl in my year lunged at the other girl, and I put my arm out at just the last moment - caught her straight in the windpipe. Ass't head who did not like me one bit looked at me, looked away, and said 'Mark, you'd better get to lesson. I saw nothing.'

    Another thing that I still occasionally piss myself over was the time I headbutted a four-by-three foot double-glazed window. I did it gently, just hoping to make a noise and get the attention of a friend on the other side. Well it shattered. Glass everywhere. Except on me. I didn't cut myself, didn't get glass in my hair or anything. I did get suspended for four days though - for laughing about it. Clearly those people haven't heard of someone being in a state of shock or nervousness.

    There was also a time in sixth-form when I was walking between rooms during lesson time - might have been going to the toilet or maybe picking something up, I forget now - and this guy runs out from behind me as I was walking into the quad, and threw himself into a foetal position on a bench. Another guy ran past me a second later, and yelled at the top of his voice, 'DILLLDOOOOOO,' and threw this eighteen-inch black silicone **** at him.

    (Original post by eruditeprincess)
    I went on a history trip to a conference where a speaker my history teacher liked was speaking at. Approximately 50 history students got masks with this guy's face on it and we freaked out a few drivers as we wore them. History students in general at my school were slightly strange.
    When I was in sixth-form, our Electronics tutor looked just like Chuck Norris, except he was about a foot shorter. We printed Chuck Norris masks and got him to wear one

    (Original post by lawtho)
    going into the guys toilet only to find someone is making weird noises. Soon it became apparent he was excreting and the groans were because it was difficult to get out. I never can let that go. I cried with laughter for a solid hour afterwards.
    Pretty impressive :lol: my friend and I at uni were pretty close, and often ended up going in the toilet at the same time. One time we wound up sat in stalls next to one another, carrying on a conversation we'd been having before. After which I said 'welp, there's nothing like a good crap. And that was nothing like a good crap' (we both have IBS).

    (Original post by OwlOfFire)
    A joke I heard in the school corridor, it's a little bit insensitive but still it was funny.

    Spoiler:
    Show


    The cleaners were cleaning out the school toilets, one kid turns to their friend and says "Smell that? It's my favourite drink". The other kid replies "What bleach?" The whole corridor burst out laughing as the kid who was trying to make fun of the cleaners, got owned!

    Moral of the story: Respect all members of staff

    When I was at sixth-form, we had our own mini-government, king, and queen, appointed by ad hoc declaration of the people. We also had our own legal code, and you've reminded me of Rule 10: "The teachers do not deserve your respect, but the teachers do; they clean up your mess."

    (Original post by sweet boner)
    Teacher fingering herself in lesson
    When I was in year 7 at secondary school, a girl in year 11 got expelled for masturbating with an electric toothbrush during an English lesson.

    (Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ)
    Repped for that GIF.

    There was a detention slip issued to a kid for throwing a lamp at someone and telling them to "Lighten the f*** up" doing the rounds on my Facebook feed recently, and if it's genuine, the kid who received it is officially my new favourite person.
    Just laughed so hard I damn' near dropped a fresh cup of coffee over my lap :congrats:
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    We once had an english supply teacher (He was Irish. He conducted himself like a person who was half drunk, while being completley sober. He was incredibly sarcastic and quite strict.), he lectured us for about 20 minutes on the importance of education and then set the work we were to do in "COMPLETE SILENCE".
    While we all sat and worked he began to google local fishing spots, with the projector on. About half way through the lesson he got up, exclaimed that he had lost his sandwich, and left. We all stared at eachother in confusion, 10 minutes later he's back with an egg sandwich that he then proceeded to eat.
    Towards the end of the lesson he got up turned on the fan and began to make robot noises in it. When someone questioned what he was doing he told them to shut up and carry on working or he would "tatter their chromosomes".

    It was the weirdest lesson i have ever been in.
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    If anybody from my school ever saw this they'll instantly know who I am but hey ho...
    Well our Adv. Higher Maths class never did anything past Christmas, but as an incentive to get us to revise for our prelims, our teacher (ol' Brian - great guy, but terrible at teaching AH although it was his first time doing it) said he'd take us all out for lunch if the whole class passed. Somehow we all did pass and we spent one of our Thursday doubles after lunch having burgers in town much to the dismay of the head of department.
    And we all went down to get milkshakes pretty much every Thursday after that. And he would bring dunkin' donuts in with him on those Thursdays as well - a treat when you don't live near civilisation
    One of the better parts of my final year there
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    Someone took a **** behind one of the cabinets at my maths class in year 7. The back of the classroom smelt absolutely repugnant, the teacher eventually investigated and unearthed a section of the wall covered in ****. The whole class erupted and the teacher was an old guy, he just sort of had a confused look and "i'm too old for this ****(pun intended)" attitude about it. They all blamed it on this fat dark boy in my class cuz I dunno and it stuck with him for a year or 2.
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    Probably one of the funniest things was when one of my friends dropped her phone in the stand off area around the lion's enclosure. she had to climb the fence to get it back. Lucky the lion did not pay too much attention
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    School closed for two weeks due to snow
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    one time a kid got stuck in a garbage can, it took like 4 teachers to get him out.

    and another time a kid climbed the basketball net outside and got stuck in the hoop and was too scared to climb down, and it like an hour to get him down.

    another time a guy fainted at a Christmas concert and he fell off the stage.
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    In year 5 or year 6, one aggresive class fellow of mine flipped a teacher.
    Another year, a class fellow of my brother got a tree bark and whacked someone around the head. They did have to go to hospital and he was excluded.
    One of chinese cover teachers in Year 11 threw a pen at my friend to get him to shut up. It flinged right past him but if it had hit him, it counts as abuse. I don't think she knew the rules?
    7-8 continuous fire alarms in one week for no reason.
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    One of my ex-Biology teachers (who died 2 years ago) talked about her sex life in the lesson in Year 7, how her daughter wripped her womb and how she enjoyed having it with her husband.
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    I accidentally nearly tripped a teacher down the stairs. She was horrified.
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    Somebody in the year above mine made two guys in my year group orally pleasure each other after they both tried to burn his sisters shed, he then recorded the whole thing on his phone and sent it to everyone.
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    (Original post by midwife101)
    Most outrageous: While at the primary school I attended in Australia *back in 2008*, my lovely teacher for year 4 was off ill and we had a substitute teacher- unfortunately I have forgotten his name but I will never forget what he did to my friends . Lets call him Mr T.
    So, we were doing at outdoor activity measuring the length of our classroom from the outside or something with measuring tapes. And our class turns around to find Mr T holding a boy in my class up strangling him against the wall with his hands around the boys neck.. obviously we were scared shitless so my class ran back into the classroom and then Mr T came storming in, slapped my friend Maud. I think one of the people in my class told another teacher because then the headteacher was notified and then it literally became like a police station. Each and every one of us in our class was interviewed about what happened and had to say the direction of the slap what hand outsie with the boy, what the other children were saying.. needless to say 'Mr T' was never to be seen again.
    Oh then my friend Maud moved back to France and I have a feeling part of that was because of the slap....
    Oh my god... that's insane! How can a teacher get so far in their career and then do something like that?!

    (Original post by lilly9252)
    We once had an english supply teacher (He was Irish. He conducted himself like a person who was half drunk, while being completley sober. He was incredibly sarcastic and quite strict.), he lectured us for about 20 minutes on the importance of education and then set the work we were to do in "COMPLETE SILENCE".
    While we all sat and worked he began to google local fishing spots, with the projector on. About half way through the lesson he got up, exclaimed that he had lost his sandwich, and left. We all stared at eachother in confusion, 10 minutes later he's back with an egg sandwich that he then proceeded to eat.
    Towards the end of the lesson he got up turned on the fan and began to make robot noises in it. When someone questioned what he was doing he told them to shut up and carry on working or he would "tatter their chromosomes".

    It was the weirdest lesson i have ever been in.
    I swear so many of these stories are about supply teachers :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    BlinkyBill can tell us all about it I'm sure as she used to be a supply teacher...
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    (Original post by jgoddard08)
    I once saw a fresher passed out in the grass. His cider was still in his hand and a rabbit was drinking out of it.
    This really cracked me up. I'm assuming this is at UEA, just because when I went there to visit a friend there were cute bunnies EVERYWHERE! :bunny2::bunny::bunny2::bunny:
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    (Original post by lilly9252)
    We once had an english supply teacher (He was Irish. He conducted himself like a person who was half drunk, while being completley sober. He was incredibly sarcastic and quite strict.), he lectured us for about 20 minutes on the importance of education and then set the work we were to do in "COMPLETE SILENCE".
    While we all sat and worked he began to google local fishing spots, with the projector on. About half way through the lesson he got up, exclaimed that he had lost his sandwich, and left. We all stared at eachother in confusion, 10 minutes later he's back with an egg sandwich that he then proceeded to eat.
    Towards the end of the lesson he got up turned on the fan and began to make robot noises in it. When someone questioned what he was doing he told them to shut up and carry on working or he would "tatter their chromosomes".

    It was the weirdest lesson i have ever been in.
    It's like in House MD....
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    At my school we have what is known as the "Talent Show" which showcases less about talent and more idiocracies. There are five houses, each doing a short acting piece. I have a story of which I want to share relating to it.

    The first occured in November 2015, during a rehearsal. My house (which I'll call Red for the sake of anonymity) got to practice in a drama room due to our head of house being the head of department. In this room are some stage lights rigged to the ceiling, of which are quite costly. There were about 15 of us there at the time including the house captain. The teacher had left to go and do something, but would be returning shortly. The house captain's boyfriend had a tennis ball. He and a few other Year 11s were using it as a football. It got kicked by the boyfriend and it hit a stage light. A bit of it promptly got yanked downwards as the screws holding it fell out. Then began the rush to fix light before the teacher came back. She appears just as they finish the repair and hide the screwdriver down his pants. Meanwhile, the house captain confiscates the tennis ball. It was played with again the proceeding Monday.

    Special mention to he from my Music BTEC class who managed to throw a bottle on the floor which then collided with the teacher's desk and rebounded to land in the bin. The silence penetrated by his uttering of "I should be on Dude Perfect".
 
 
 
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