Hello, I have never done this before, writing anonymously on a website in hope of some heavenly advise on my situation. I am really hoping someone, anyone, can help me. I’ll write up a brief summary. I met a girl (as you do), fell in love and it really was love for us both. Year on, she got pregnant and we had to move out of the flat we was in (I was sharing with my mate and she stayed with me). We had no where to go so she went into a hostel while I cleared some debt to look for a place. She really struggled, I tried to help but she said I didn’t do enough (which is where things started to go wrong). After struggling for a while she really couldn’t cope so my step-dad managed to get a deposit and get her a place as a single mother (as she really couldn’t stay in a hostel and I couldn’t afford to pay for us both). I stayed there as much as I could but I was no angel, I am not going to paint it out like I was. When I was there I didn’t really help, I was there. I did look after our beautiful daughter when she went about doing the housework etc but we grew apart and at this point there was little love and affection in our relationship even though I tried to encourage this but I was told that she no longer liked s*x and/or being affectionate which pushed me away. We ended up breaking up and she slept with her ex. I found out and I was hurt, distraught even but then we decided to give it another go (After her house got broken into and a managed to protect her from two attackers), I promised I will try more and she said she would try more in the relationship. It started well but It slipped and I still never got any love or affection and I was hurting still and got lazy so this time we ended up breaking up after 6 months. We hardly cuddle or had s*x during this time either. For the 6 weeks we broke up I didn’t sleep with anyone I was trying to sort my head and my life out, obviously thinking about my daughter and became a weekend dad. One morning I get a call from my ex’s mother saying she’s in Hospital, her neighbour who she has started hanging out with had drugged her (for a laugh I presume) and left her coming in and out of consciousness. I called the neighbour who told me some truths about the last 6 weeks, she had gone off the rails and bringing home different men different nights and sleeping with them, even with someone who was suppose to be my friend. This killed for many reason(as you can imagine) but she admitted to most of it. She was now scared to go back home so I’m helping her pack up. She wants to make it work with me and I want to make it work this time correcting all my mistakes and for the last 3 weeks I’ve done that. I am enjoying helping out but she is still not affectionate to me. So in my mind I’m struggling to get my head around how she can sleep with X amount of people in 6 weeks and now struggles to sleep with me, nor doesn’t want to. I feel that maybe there is something wrong with me. The neighbour said she was only with me because she was scared of me taking our daughter away and said she is using me now to move out and get a new place. I really don’t want to believe this as I’m doing my best to be a better person, fixing all my past mistakes and get over her mistakes of the last 6 weeks but being pushed away and told to back off is literally killing me but she says she loves me and wants to be with me. She says she did what she did because of the way I treated her in the past (don’t get me wrong, I never hit her, cheated or was nasty – I just literally didn’t help her the way she needed it which I am ashamed for.) she said this was her way of dealing with it and that it was the only thing men wanted. So what do I do? Do I stick, move in with her into a new place and hope she eventually returned my affection (which I’m doubting her love more and more every day) even though I am literally getting nothing back from her at all, hoping everything will end up fine like the movies? Or do I leave, let her go. She obviously lied and said she doesn’t like s*x when every time we’ve broken up she’s gone out and got it. By leaving her I can let her be happy? She’s stuck at the moment between a rock and a hard place, because she’s told her landlord she moving, essentially has no where to go. Am I being used? God, life sure is complicated >_>;
Opinions and Help requested. Thank you Watch
- Thread Starter
- 26-07-2017 15:58
- 26-07-2017 16:30
from what I read, it sounds like u had a teenage pregnancy and are now a dad. thats no easy life decision and it's well known that very rarely do the parents stay together.
the best thing you can probably do is get yourself a good job, earn a decent living and then slowly try to stitch the pieces together. but as I said before, no-one will ever say it is easy.Last edited by xylas; 26-07-2017 at 16:31.