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Future mother in law telling my fiance to break up with me. Watch

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    Right so, me and my other half have been together for a while now and engaged for about 3 months. I personally think we have a great relationship and I love him to bits. I mentioned in a previous thread that my future mother in law (Let's call her Emily) was annoyed how my fiance and I wanted a small wedding while she wanted a big one. My fiance had a go at her and they reached a fair compromise. It was all quiet for a bit until recently when I went over to theirs for dinner I overheard Emily complain to someone on the phone how her "handsome and amazing son" was engaged to a boring, common (I come from a very poor working class family and they're a very rich family) and ugly girl whose stealing him away. Recently we both got our dream job offers to work in Switzerland and are seriously considering taking them. Anyway she then went on to say that she wished he had been engaged to his ex girlfriend instead (who according to my fiance was a spoilt, high maintenance psychotic *****). I was really upset and so I walked off and I brought this up with my future father in law. He was really shocked and confronted Emily but she denied everything and accused me of being a liar.

    I mentioned it to my fiance too and he's told her that he's marrying me regardless of what she thinks. She started crying and saying how nobody cared for her and how he should never had proposed to me and she'd never accept me as a daughter in law so we might as well break up.

    I honestly love my father in law to pieces. He's the nurturing dad I never had. Emily though, is a total nightmare and I'm worried how *****y she will become after I marry her son :/
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    You should listen to your father for he knows what is best for his daughter.
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    Mother in laws.. have always and will always be trouble in one way shape or form

    I have no advice but just know, your relationship with her is a downhill slope from here (based off of the average relationships people have with them)

    Hope I have given you some hope. Happy marriage.
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    (Original post by The Quran)
    You should listen to your father for he knows what is best for his daughter.
    Well my father's a **** so

    (Original post by UnknownRoyalist)
    Mother in laws.. have always and will always be trouble in one way shape or form

    I have no advice but just know, your relationship with her is a downhill slope from here (based off of the average relationships people have with them)

    Hope I have given you some hope. Happy marriage.
    Oh lord she is just so nasty it's unreal. I remember when he first introduced me to her, we went out to dinner at some club in Mayfair and she was like really loudly, "So tell me how working class people eat? I don't think they have any manners." I was nearly in tears.
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    (Original post by MarilynKhan)
    Well my father's a **** so



    Oh lord she is just so nasty it's unreal. I remember when he first introduced me to her, we went out to dinner at some club in Mayfair and she was like really loudly, "So tell me how working class people eat? I don't think they have any manners." I was nearly in tears.
    Well that sucks, she sounds like a snob. I really don't know how to help you. In all honesty, this is a lose lose situation for you and your fiancé; and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, just telling you how it is.

    I can go in to more detail of how things like this usually pan out but you probably won't like it. Probably best to talk to your fiancé and have a serious chat otherwise..........
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    She sounds like a mother in law from an Indian serial...
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    She should stop and think about her son and realise he knows what's best for him, not what looks good for her.
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    (Original post by UnknownRoyalist)
    Well that sucks, she sounds like a snob. I really don't know how to help you. In all honesty, this is a lose lose situation for you and your fiancé; and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, just telling you how it is.

    I can go in to more detail of how things like this usually pan out but you probably won't like it. Probably best to talk to your fiancé and have a serious chat otherwise..........
    He's told her flat out he's not leaving me.
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    I had lots of people look down at me in disgust I never see them anymore but the farthermost you are away the more they seem to want you. Currently at the other edge of the universe "you don't know what you've got til it's gone"... lol just put up a fight if you can still get something out of it
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    (Original post by MarilynKhan)
    He's told her flat out he's not leaving me.
    That's not what I meant - tension between all 3 of you for a while because of her seems likely is what I meant
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    If his whole family was a nightmare, then I would advise you to run. Everyone else is supportive of you, so I would go with it. Your boyfriend needs to stand up to his mum and keep standing up to her. It's his family and a huge fight between you and her will just create more drama. Maybe consider taking the jobs - it sounds like a great opportunity anyway. Don't give up. She'll have to give in eventually if she's on her own in every argument. Good luck
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    (Original post by The Quran)
    Your father is made in the image of the Lord - do not commit heresy but obey.
    Not the best trolling I've ever seen.
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    Don't do it, don't marry someone who comes with a nightmare monster-in-law
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    (Original post by The Quran)
    You should listen to your father for he knows what is best for his daughter.
    they don't always know
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    (Original post by MarilynKhan)
    Right so, me and my other half have been together for a while now and engaged for about 3 months. I personally think we have a great relationship and I love him to bits. I mentioned in a previous thread that my future mother in law (Let's call her Emily) was annoyed how my fiance and I wanted a small wedding while she wanted a big one. My fiance had a go at her and they reached a fair compromise. It was all quiet for a bit until recently when I went over to theirs for dinner I overheard Emily complain to someone on the phone how her "handsome and amazing son" was engaged to a boring, common (I come from a very poor working class family and they're a very rich family) and ugly girl whose stealing him away. Recently we both got our dream job offers to work in Switzerland and are seriously considering taking them. Anyway she then went on to say that she wished he had been engaged to his ex girlfriend instead (who according to my fiance was a spoilt, high maintenance psychotic *****). I was really upset and so I walked off and I brought this up with my future father in law. He was really shocked and confronted Emily but she denied everything and accused me of being a liar.

    I mentioned it to my fiance too and he's told her that he's marrying me regardless of what she thinks. She started crying and saying how nobody cared for her and how he should never had proposed to me and she'd never accept me as a daughter in law so we might as well break up.

    I honestly love my father in law to pieces. He's the nurturing dad I never had. Emily though, is a total nightmare and I'm worried how *****y she will become after I marry her son :/
    I'm sorry to hear you are having to deal with this. Some parents can't accept that they are no longer number one in their child's life. Focus on your fiance and his Dad - he might help keep her in order.
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    (Original post by MarilynKhan)
    Right so, me and my other half have been together for a while now and engaged for about 3 months. I personally think we have a great relationship and I love him to bits. I mentioned in a previous thread that my future mother in law (Let's call her Emily) was annoyed how my fiance and I wanted a small wedding while she wanted a big one. My fiance had a go at her and they reached a fair compromise. It was all quiet for a bit until recently when I went over to theirs for dinner I overheard Emily complain to someone on the phone how her "handsome and amazing son" was engaged to a boring, common (I come from a very poor working class family and they're a very rich family) and ugly girl whose stealing him away. Recently we both got our dream job offers to work in Switzerland and are seriously considering taking them. Anyway she then went on to say that she wished he had been engaged to his ex girlfriend instead (who according to my fiance was a spoilt, high maintenance psychotic *****). I was really upset and so I walked off and I brought this up with my future father in law. He was really shocked and confronted Emily but she denied everything and accused me of being a liar.

    I mentioned it to my fiance too and he's told her that he's marrying me regardless of what she thinks. She started crying and saying how nobody cared for her and how he should never had proposed to me and she'd never accept me as a daughter in law so we might as well break up.

    I honestly love my father in law to pieces. He's the nurturing dad I never had. Emily though, is a total nightmare and I'm worried how *****y she will become after I marry her son :/
    She sounds truly awful... however, she is his mother. She's going to be in your life, however terrible she may be. What you need is for your fiancé to sit down with her and have a calm conversation and tell her that her behaviour isn't acceptable and although he loves her and she's important to him, there is no discussion to be had about you two getting married and she also has no choice in whether she is nice to you. She must be if she wants a harmonious family.

    If she still doesn't change then you will just have to try and soldier through it knowing that you have the love and support of your husband and father in law... and hope she changes when you have kids.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    She sounds truly awful... however, she is his mother. She's going to be in your life, however terrible she may be. What you need is for your fiancé to sit down with her and have a calm conversation and tell her that her behaviour isn't acceptable and although he loves her and she's important to him, there is no discussion to be had about you two getting married and she also has no choice in whether she is nice to you. She must be if she wants a harmonious family.

    If she still doesn't change then you will just have to try and soldier through it knowing that you have the love and support of your husband and father in law... and hope she changes when you have kids.

    Me and my other half have decided to stay married for about 5 years and then have children. That annoyed her. Yesterday he told her that he isn't letting me go and she's just having a massive fit over it now.
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    (Original post by MarilynKhan)
    Me and my other half have decided to stay married for about 5 years and then have children. That annoyed her. Yesterday he told her that he isn't letting me go and she's just having a massive fit over it now.
    It needs to stop being such a point of contention. You just being together should be sign enough that you are staying together. Why would you be together if that wasn't your plan? Why would you be ENGAGED?

    I think he needs to stop telling her that you're staying together, because that makes it seem like it's up for discussion. Let your actions speak louder than words, try to stop the arguments... it's not really necessary to tell her you're waiting 5 years for kids, that just sounds like you're goading her for a fight. You don't know what the future holds. That could be a plan but it's only really needed to be discussed between the two of you, not her. You know he's on your side and that's all that matters. At this point he's stuck up for you as much as he can. She can be awful but either just try to ignore it or neither of you spend time with her until she stops.

    Also you have to always be open to forgiveness. I know she has been awful but to be a happy family you will need to be ready to forgive her whenever the time comes.
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    That doesn't mean you break up just because his mother won't accept you. Try to ignore what she says.
 
 
 
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