My boyfriend takes drugs and it's killing me

I probably should have said that I have told him and cried to him numerous times but he seems to think that he is invinsible and he knows what he is doing.

I don't want to control him and govern his life. All his friends take drugs and for me to control him would stop him from seeing his friends.

If he's being ignorant, I'm really not sure what you can do then. You say you don't want to control his life, but I'm sure he'd rather have a life where you interfere slightly than not have one at all.

... my boyfriend ... takes Coke at least every other weekend and goes to festivals and events where he will take "party drugs" like mdma, Coke, pills. ...

I don't want to break up with him because I know he will only go harder. He's the love of my life.

I probably should have said that I have told him and cried to him numerous times but he seems to think that he is invinsible and he knows what he is doing.

I don't want to control him and govern his life. All his friends take drugs and for me to control him would stop him from seeing his friends.

Hi there!

My sincerest sympathies for your loss; it must have been very hard to lose a sibling to such a thing.



To be frank, your boyfriend's behaviour is extremely dangerous and irresponsible. You are not being irrational. It is perfectly reasonable to expect your partner to take care of themselves and not put their health and safety at risk. Please don't stay with him out of guilt, or the possibility that he'll do drugs more often. You aren't forcing him to do this. If his behaviour is making you anxious and stressing you, there needs to be a discussion. It might be worth taking some time to think about what you're willing to accept in a relationship. For example, me and my husband only drink socially, because when he was in a very bad place in his life he turned to alcohol, so we don't want to risk it becoming a problem again.



This isn't "controlling". I'm also a little bit concerned that he knows it upsets you and yet won't change his behaviours. Why is that? So what if his friends do drugs as well? If he doesn't have a friendship circle outside of drugs, that is a really big red flag. He can choose who he wants to spend time with. I think you deserve better than someone who's life (from the sounds of it) exists around drugs.

I agree. His life doesn't completely revolve around drugs. It did before he met me. He's going to uni now and trying to sort him self etc.

I think because we spend so much time together, he doesn't know what it's like to be without me. He relies on me for his happiness so I can't see why he wouldn't stop or minimise drug use to keep me. It's a tricky one

Basically, my boyfriend who is 23 (I am 18) takes Coke at least every other weekend and goes to festivals and events where he will take "party drugs" like mdma, Coke, pills.

Since knowing me for 8 months he has cut down from taking drugs from several times a week till a few times a month which I can deal with.

My problem is that we are going to festival in the summer which is 4 days long where he is going to binge on alcohol and drugs.

My brother died from heroin when I was 11 years old and although my boyfriend doesn't take herion, I am still scared that he will die during the 4 days.

The festival is two weeks away, I want to have fun with him and my friends but my anxiety is so bad and I constantly think about him dying. Am I being irrational ?? I don't want to break up with him because I know he will only go harder. He's the love of my life.

Please be as honest as possible, I need help! Thankyou

Tell him if he takes any drugs, its over. If he loves you he wont.

I think some of the attitudes expressed in this thread are a bit outdated and over the top. These days recreational drugs are a part of many young peoples lives, as much as alcohol in fact, and both are equally dangerous and destructive but when in moderation they aren't that big of a deal. I do understand where you're coming from though and i'm quite suprised at 23 he isn't mature enough to know when to cut down. My honest advice ? Before the festival tell him that as much as you love him and understand why he enjoys drugs,.you think he should think about limiting it to a few times a year because you're honestly scared and think it's starting to impact the relationship.

I totally agree. Drugs should be legalised so they can be regulated like alcohol is. But they are not which makes them more dangerous. I am going to speak to him as much as possible and stress to him how I feel. I can only hope Ahha thankyou for a constructive reply!