The Student Room Group

My own Father stole money off of me!

I can't believe my father would do this. Do the people of TSR think this is right.

A little backstory I am 15 and he used it to buy alcohol. After all of this he still wasn't apologetic when sober and said to me '' I have spent loads of money on you in my life so you owe me''.

Please Leave Your Thoughts!
He seems perfectly normal...

not srs
steal it back
Tbh I would give my dad money if I only had £5.

Stinginess ain't cool.
I think your dad is a narcissistic alcoholic and I also think this isn't the first time he's stolen to feed his addiction. If he's willing to steal from his own son, and then have the audacity to say he deserves it, then he'll steal from you again once his partner stops enabling him.

That being said, short of putting all your money in a bank and hiding your debit card, there's not a great deal you can do. You can report it to the police, but a father-in-law dispute over a fiver isn't going to spark their interest that much.

Either way, he isn't in the right to do that. Regardless of whether people think you should be giving your dad money because he's your dad, it's your prerogative. He doesn't have a right to steal from you just because you're his son.
Reply 5
Original post by ClearSky
Tbh I would give my dad money if I only had £5.

Stinginess ain't cool.


It's not that he took it. It's that 1 he used it to buy alcohol

And 2 he STOLE it and wouldnt have told me unless I had found out
Reply 6
Obviously it's wrong. Hide your money next time
Yep, this is normal nehaviour. Come on, be more considerate. Your dad has given 15 years of his life to look after you, he deserves a drink. Do you know how expensive children are?

Spoiler

My dad also did this once (that I know of), when I was about 13-14 and also to buy alcohol (he is an alcoholic and has a habitat of disappearing and drinking for several days then returning, thankfully I no longer see him and so no longer have to deal with this). I don't know what to say really apart from this is obviously completely wrong, the fact that he doesn't even realise it is probably the worst bit and really upsets me having experienced it myself. I would suggest that your dad is quite possibly an alcoholic if he is that desperate to get money to drink that he stole it however his attitude suggests that he will in no way accept this. On the assumption your live with both your parents I would say discuss it with your mum is probably your best bet to see if she can discuss it with your dad which may help, also obviously hiding away your money and encourage any siblings to do the same. Hope this helps
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
My dad also did this once (that I know of), when I was about 13-14 and also to buy alcohol (he is an alcoholic and has a habitat of disappearing and drinking for several days then returning, thankfully I no longer see him and so no longer have to deal with this). I don't know what to say really apart from this is obviously completely wrong, the fact that he doesn't even realise it is probably the worst bit and really upsets me having experienced it myself. I would suggest that your dad is quite possibly an alcoholic if he is that desperate to get money to drink that he stole it however his attitude suggests that he will in no way accept this. On the assumption your live with both your parents I would say discuss it with your mum is probably your best bet to see if she can discuss it with your dad which may help, also obviously hiding away your money and encourage any siblings to do the same. Hope this helps


Unfortunately we have been trying since I was about 8 years old for him to stop but he suffers from depression from the loss of his Dad when he was 12 and so anytime he gets depressed he drinks. He refuses to get medical help.
Reply 10
Original post by CallumTSR
I can't believe my father would do this. Do the people of TSR think this is right.

A little backstory I am 15 and he used it to buy alcohol. After all of this he still wasn't apologetic when sober and said to me '' I have spent loads of money on you in my life so you owe me''.

Please Leave Your Thoughts!


No it isn't, you don't owe him anything. He made the decision to bring you into this world, not you. He has a responsibility and duty to be your father and spend money on your upbringing. That's the committment you make when you create a human being.

That said, your father clearly has a drinking problem. He won't listen to you though. Do you have any adult family members you could say your concerns to? It's hard, but rather than being mad and arguing with him, try and get him help. He is ill.
My brother steals off me too and the rest of the family. I've learnt to hide my things
Original post by ClearSky
Tbh I would give my dad money if I only had £5.

Stinginess ain't cool.


I would give my family money even if I didn't have much, but that isn't really the point, I think.

The fact that it has been stolen and he appears to have no intention to give it back is worrying.

I am all for supporting your family, but stealing is never okay. Especially with someone you're supposed to care about.
If he used it for something else i.e needed cash for something to buy from the shop for the house I wouldn't be mad at all, but the fact he stole money to buy alcohol just makes it worse. I would hate if my family stole from me as it breaks trust. I would talk to him about it and express your feelings. This can't become a habit.
Kill him
This isn't nice but if it was my parents I wouldn't even be able to object.
Ugh my dad did the same to me since I was 8, just either asked me for the lens of money which he’d pay back (😉) or he just stole it from my bedroom when I was at school. I don’t even know what he spent it on most of the time, except once he took £100 to pay the babysitter and about £200 to put towards furniture. He hasn’t paid me back a penny since a year after he started borrowing it, and since then he’s borrowed and stolen about £2500 and €700. If he borrowed it and gave it back I would have no problem. It got to the point where my 12 year old self wrote notes that I kept anywhere I had money that said stupid stuff like “Daddy, don’t even dare touch this” and “Hands off daddy”😂😂
when will you be on Jeremy Kyle?

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