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    I'm 21 and have only had sex with one girl in my life. We were together for a long time (approx. 4 years), and only broke up fairly recently. However, she's since slept with a lot of other people, whereas I have not. I know sex with one girl is 100% more than other people have achieved, i.e. virgins, but it's definitely a very low "body count" compared to pretty much all my friends and, I suspect, the average 21-year-old. It's weird because having sex with one person isn't something I ever saw as a handicap or disappointment until I came to university and realised how prevalent the "hook up culture" really is. You get to know each other's fantasies and preferences over time and the whole experience generally becomes more comfortable and intimate with one person you genuinely love as opposed to sleeping with a lot of different strangers. I much prefer the former to the latter, but I cannot help but feel emasculated by the fact I am not some alpha stud who's had sex with lots of different girls "as a man should" or whatever. While I find a lot of women attractive and would happily have sex with them, the urge to sleep around just doesn't come naturally to me—it's just an urge to have sex. Am I foolish for losing sight of my own personal values due to social pressure or am I just weird for actually desiring to have sex only with someone I love and am committed to, i.e. no ONS, FWB, etc.?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and have only had sex with one girl in my life. We were together for a long time (approx. 4 years), and only broke up fairly recently. However, she's since slept with a lot of other people, whereas I have not. I know sex with one girl is 100% more than other people have achieved, i.e. virgins, but it's definitely a very low "body count" compared to pretty much all my friends and, I suspect, the average 21-year-old. It's weird because having sex with one person isn't something I ever saw as a handicap or disappointment until I came to university and realised how prevalent the "hook up culture" really is. You get to know each other's fantasies and preferences over time and the whole experience generally becomes more comfortable and intimate with one person you genuinely love as opposed to sleeping with a lot of different strangers. I much prefer the former to the latter, but I cannot help but feel emasculated by the fact I am not some alpha stud who's had sex with lots of different girls "as a man should" or whatever. While I find a lot of women attractive and would happily have sex with them, the urge to sleep around just doesn't come naturally to me—it's just an urge to have sex. Am I foolish for losing sight of my own personal values due to social pressure or am I just weird for actually desiring to have sex only with someone I love and am committed to, i.e. no ONS, FWB, etc.?
    You're neither because it doesn't matter how many people you sleep with, it really doesn't; it's so much better to sleep with a few people and be with someone you love instead of sleeping with lots of people and not love them, like you said. Don't feel emasculated, what you're doing is absolutely fine and really sensible; it's better to not regret sleeping with someone rather than sleep around and regret most of the people you've been with
 
 
 
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