The Student Room Group

A question for muslims on here concerning relationships

ok so a good friend of mine is from a muslim family and I'm aware his parents are rather strict like he isn't allowed to go out to clubs or drink ect and so he's grown up doing things behind their bank and lying, but anyways he has recently entered a relationship with a white atheist, who goes to his uni

what do you think will happen in the long run like if he wants to marry this girl; will his parents disown him... I'm just a bit confused about it really cause i care about him so idk whether he's made a bit of a mistake here and surely it could just end in major drama if his parents were to find out what he's been doing with this girl...

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Reply 1
Original post by fefssdf
ok so a good friend of mine is from a muslim family and I'm aware his parents are rather strict like he isn't allowed to go out to clubs or drink ect and so he's grown up doing things behind their bank and lying, but anyways he has recently entered a relationship with a white atheist, who goes to his uni

what do you think will happen in the long run like if he wants to marry this girl; will his parents disown him... I'm just a bit confused about it really cause i care about him so idk whether he's made a bit of a mistake here and surely it could just end in major drama if his parents were to find out what he's been doing with this girl...

Honestly, no telling what could happen. Disowning is a common one.
Reply 2
Original post by S2M
Honestly, no telling what could happen. Disowning is a common one.


he did mention before jokingly about his parents disowning him but idk if deep down he was being serious but idk it does seem like they're extremely strict like he had to lie to his parents saying he was going on sleepovers to go clubbing and also Im pretty sure his parents don't know about any of his other relationships as he mentioned being with a jewish girl for example so god knows
Reply 3
Original post by fefssdf
he did mention before jokingly about his parents disowning him but idk if deep down he was being serious but idk it does seem like they're extremely strict like he had to lie to his parents saying he was going on sleepovers to go clubbing and also Im pretty sure his parents don't know about any of his other relationships as he mentioned being with a jewish girl for example so god knows

If I were in his situation, it would be better to tell his parents sooner than later. It's always a lot worse when your parents find out themselves.
Reply 4
Original post by S2M
If I were in his situation, it would be better to tell his parents sooner than later. It's always a lot worse when your parents find out themselves.


pretty sure he won't be telling them; his girlfriend is actually living abroad too cause she's an international student so even more of a messy situation
Are you the white atheist he's dating?
Reply 6
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Are you the white atheist he's dating?


no plot twist ; I'm another white atheist who wishes she was dating him
When my ex girlfriend's parents found out she was dating a girl they cut her off from me and married her off..
Reply 8
The whole disowning thing is cultural (South Asian mostly), Muslim people don't get disowned most parents will probably be like teach your girlfriend about the religion and so she can convert.
Reply 9
Original post by MarilynKhan
When my ex girlfriend's parents found out she was dating a girl they cut her off from me and married her off..


yeh i feel like a similar thing would happen here; they'd learn she wasn't a muslim and would just demand he end it. its upsetting cause i can see how happy they are together but i worry he hasnt really thought about the long term implications of their relationship post- uni
Original post by fefssdf
he did mention before jokingly about his parents disowning him but idk if deep down he was being serious but idk it does seem like they're extremely strict like he had to lie to his parents saying he was going on sleepovers to go clubbing and also Im pretty sure his parents don't know about any of his other relationships as he mentioned being with a jewish girl for example so god knows


Whenever my friends ask what would happen if my parents found out about [insert haram behaivour], I always jokingly say that "they'll disown me" or something along those lines. The fact is: even if they don't disown me (that is in the realms of posibility), things are going to get very messy very quickly. I joke about it because I like to take detach myself out of the awful situation I am in and instead take amusement out of it. I think he does too.
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 11
Original post by NOONA.
The whole disowning thing is cultural (South Asian mostly), Muslim people don't get disowned most parents will probably be like teach your girlfriend about the religion and so she can convert.


yeh thats what I was thinking, I guess she could convert but then surely like idk if she is like not religious whatsoever and then suddenly is saying she's a muslim and also she's white too like idk it just seems unlikely and also idk even just yesterday he said to his muslim friend of his about how they're gonna both end up in either loveless or sexless marriages, suggesting he knows this can only be a bit of fun during uni
Reply 12
No wonder some Muslims can't integrate into British culture if they get their pants in a twist if their kid wants to go out/marry a non Muslim.

Chinese parents seems more relaxed about their kids marrying non Chinese people.
Reply 13
Original post by s4b3rt00th
Whenever my friends ask what would happen if my parents found out about [insert haram behaivour], I always jokingly say that "they'll disown me" or something along those lines. The fact is: even if they don't disown me (that is in the realms of posibility), things are going to get very messy very quickly.


he's said how his mum would literally kill him if he drank alcohol so god knows what they'd of if they knew who he was sharing a bed with; they also made him bring a prayer mat to uni but he just shoved it away and didnt use it ...
Original post by fefssdf
he's said how his mum would literally kill him if he drank alcohol so god knows what they'd of if they knew who he was sharing a bed with; they also made him bring a prayer mat to uni but he just shoved it away and didnt use it ...


Is he still a muslim or is he now an atheist?
(edited 6 years ago)
If I was him I would just get disowned. Really hate this aspect of Islam/Hindu culture
Reply 16
Original post by s4b3rt00th
Is he still a muslim or is he now an atheist?


he is a muslim but the only thing he does is not eat pork but he drinks and goes clubbing ect and doesnt pray
Reply 17
Original post by fefssdf
pretty sure he won't be telling them; his girlfriend is actually living abroad too cause she's an international student so even more of a messy situation


Yeah that's true. I can be certain of one thing, if his parents are as strict as you say they are then this will not end well for him.
Original post by MarilynKhan
When my ex girlfriend's parents found out she was dating a girl they cut her off from me and married her off..


wait seriously??? is this a troll??

dude

thats so awful...
Original post by Manuster
wait seriously??? is this a troll??

dude

thats so awful...


I think I read one case in the news once.

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