Still a Virgin in your Twenties? Some Advice... Watch

Jack22031994
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DISCLAIMER:
This thread is intended to give some advice to those who are in their twenties and are still virgins, and who may be feeling bad about it etc
If you don't have anything nice to say and just want to use this thread as a platform to troll and belittle others, please don't post. It will just be reported.

Thanks



So you're in your twenties? Perhaps you’ve graduated from or are at university, you’ve passed your driving test, maybe moved out from home and working. However, there is one thing that hasn't happened. You have yet to have sex. This may be out of choice for religious or personal reasons, which is fine and great. However, if it isn't out of choice it maybe playing on your mind, hurting your confidence and might even be stopping your from feeling like you're a ‘real adult.’

It does mess with your mind, I agree as from my experience you end up hating drinking games, especially ones like ‘Never Have I Ever’, as they always end up sexual which makes it difficult to take part to the point you don't want to as you cant join in. This may mean you lose social time with friends or even a new group of people. However, as someone who is in this position, I am able to offer some advice for those of you feeling down or bad about it due the societal pressures many of us may feel to lose it well before our twenties, and in many ways are expected to.

Don't do it until you’re ready
As I’d advise anyone, no matter how old you are, don’t do it until you're ready. Yes, it may seem you're falling behind socially if all your friends are sexually active, but if you don’t feel ready, don’t as you will be ready one day and it you are more likely not to regret it, which leads me to my next point.

You're more likely to not regret your first time
How many times have you heard your friends other say that they regret their first time and wish they hadn’t lost it then? Too many times in my experience. This is something you are unlikely to do as you're older and more emotionally mature than you were in your teens when many of your friends lost theirs. Therefore you’re more likely to be sure you want to lose it and to who as well.

Friends may take the mick but they don’t really care (or shouldn’t)
Maybe this is more relevant for guys, who on occasion may take the mick out of a mate who is a virgin. In reality though, they don't care, nor they should. In all honesty, it has shocked them that I am, and towards the end of uni, some of them were wondering what girls they could hook me up with every time we went out. As well as this, if they do care about you being a virgin, are they really a friend?

Don't let it define who you are
You may (like I did), let it start to define who you are, but you really shouldn't as it’ll just make you feel down and depressed. Let the other accomplishments and milestones you have already achieved define you. Having sex is just a life milestone you haven’t reached yet - just like people in their 20s who havent passed their driving test. They are both things which we are expected to have done by our 20s. This feeling will only be worse if you let it define you and your worth as a person. If you let other things scubas accomplishments define you, you will be more confident and in turn more likely lose it.

It does have its advantages
At the end of the day being a virgin and/or not sexually active does believe it or not have its benefits. You don't have to worry about unplanned pregnancies or STI’s or having to worry about carrying contraceptives on you etc For the former, I’d rather be a virgin than to have had STIs or even a baby at 23.

I hope that small advice is helpful to some of you, and remember, it will happen it its own time and you shouldn't worry about it or care what others think, as most dont care and for the ones that do, are usually quite insecure about themselves so feel like they have to put others down to give themselves some form of self-validation.

Jack
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Flyingaround
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(Original post by Jack22031994)



DISCLAIMER:
This thread is intended to give some advice to those who are in their twenties and are still virgins, and who may be feeling bad about it etc
If you don't have anything nice to say and just want to use this thread as a platform to troll and belittle others, please don't post. It will just be reported.

Thanks




So you're in your twenties? Perhaps you’ve graduated from or are at university, you’ve passed your driving test, maybe moved out from home and working. However, there is one thing that hasn't happened. You have yet to have sex. This may be out of choice for religious or personal reasons, which is fine and great. However, if it isn't out of choice it maybe playing on your mind, hurting your confidence and might even be stopping your from feeling like you're a ‘real adult.’

It does mess with your mind, I agree as from my experience you end up hating drinking games, especially ones like ‘Never Have I Ever’, as they always end up sexual which makes it difficult to take part to the point you don't want to as you cant join in. This may mean you lose social time with friends or even a new group of people. However, as someone who is in this position, I am able to offer some advice for those of you feeling down or bad about it due the societal pressures many of us may feel to lose it well before our twenties, and in many ways are expected to.

Don't do it until you’re ready
As I’d advise anyone, no matter how old you are, don’t do it until you're ready. Yes, it may seem you're falling behind socially if all your friends are sexually active, but if you don’t feel ready, don’t as you will be ready one day and it you are more likely not to regret it, which leads me to my next point.

You're more likely to not regret your first time
How many times have you heard your friends other say that they regret their first time and wish they hadn’t lost it then? Too many times in my experience. This is something you are unlikely to do as you're older and more emotionally mature than you were in your teens when many of your friends lost theirs. Therefore you’re more likely to be sure you want to lose it and to who as well.

Friends may tack the mick but they don’t really care (or shouldn’t)
Maybe this is more relevant for guys, who on occasion may take the mick out of a mate who is a virgin. In reality though, they don't care, nor they should. In all honesty, it has shocked them that I am, and towards the end of uni, some of them were wondering what girls they could hook me up with every time we went out. As well as this, if they do care about you being a virgin, are they really a friend?

Don't let it define who you are
You may (like I did), let it start to define who you are, but you really shouldn't as it’ll just make you feel down and depressed. Let the other accomplishments and milestones you have already achieved define you. Having sex is just a life milestone you haven’t reached yet - just like people in their 20s who havent passed their driving test. They are both things which we are expected to have done by our 20s. This feeling will only be worse if you let it define you and your worth as a person. If you let other things scubas accomplishments define you, you will be more confident and in turn more likely lose it.

It does have its advantages
At the end of the day being a virgin and/or not sexually active does believe it or not have its benefits. You don't have to worry about unplanned pregnancies or STI’s or having to worry about carrying contraceptives on you etc For the former, I’d rather be a virgin than to have had STIs or even a baby at 23.

I hope that small advice is helpful to some of you, and remember, it will happen it its own time and you shouldn't worry about it or care what others think, as most dont care and for the ones that do, are usually quite insecure about themselves so feel like they have to put others down to give themselves some form of self-validation.

Jack
I'm 30+ and a virgin too but doesn't matter. I don't have the things (personality or body wise) for people in my country so i travelled to the east and found that i fitted in there more, people more acted like me. I'm still working on making friends, or strengthening those friendships.
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Anonymous #1
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what do you think about losing it to a one night stand? kind of just want to get it over and done with now...
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UWS
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(Original post by Anonymous)
what do you think about losing it to a one night stand? kind of just want to get it over and done with now...
Are you doing it out of desperation?
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hezzlington
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Heres a good one to add: dont be creepy
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BigMan Ting
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(Original post by Anonymous)
what do you think about losing it to a one night stand? kind of just want to get it over and done with now...
Not worth it if you seriously value your virginity. Personally I lost it to one girl whilst I took hers. It doesn't bother me because we're not together anymore.
Probably better to wait and lose it to someone you may know (I.e a friend) rather than a stranger because you get that added excitement of being comfortable around them a small you are familiar with what they enjoy/don't like.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by UWS)
Are you doing it out of desperation?
Not out of desperation, just that I want to do it and while I would've waited for a relationship, I don't want to wait forever lol
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username2648333
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If you're feeling that you lack confidence, so you never try and initiate sex, remember that confidence can be feigned, just like everything else, there is serious truth in, "fake it till you make it"; I was always lacking in confidence when I was younger, but I thought, " **** it, what's the worst that can happen? Rejection? I don't know this person anyway, so nothing would be lost".

It's like sport climbing, the idea of the fall, is worse than the fall itself. Don't be afraid of rejection, it means almost nothing, in most cases.

Even if you think you're ugly as sin, I know 2 girls who are absolutely gorgeous, that are 20-odd virgins - they lack confidence.

Even if you really are ugly as sin, uglier people than you have gotten laid; confidence makes up for looks (I'm a testament to that).
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UWS
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not out of desperation, just that I want to do it and while I would've waited for a relationship, I don't want to wait forever lol
Depends how much your virginity means to you. You may regret it later on if you're just doing it for the sake of it. It'll happen one day, as the OP said, don't rush it.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by Jack22031994)



DISCLAIMER:
This thread is intended to give some advice to those who are in their twenties and are still virgins, and who may be feeling bad about it etc
If you don't have anything nice to say and just want to use this thread as a platform to troll and belittle others, please don't post. It will just be reported.

Thanks




So you're in your twenties? Perhaps you’ve graduated from or are at university, you’ve passed your driving test, maybe moved out from home and working. However, there is one thing that hasn't happened. You have yet to have sex. This may be out of choice for religious or personal reasons, which is fine and great. However, if it isn't out of choice it maybe playing on your mind, hurting your confidence and might even be stopping your from feeling like you're a ‘real adult.’

It does mess with your mind, I agree as from my experience you end up hating drinking games, especially ones like ‘Never Have I Ever’, as they always end up sexual which makes it difficult to take part to the point you don't want to as you cant join in. This may mean you lose social time with friends or even a new group of people. However, as someone who is in this position, I am able to offer some advice for those of you feeling down or bad about it due the societal pressures many of us may feel to lose it well before our twenties, and in many ways are expected to.

Don't do it until you’re ready
As I’d advise anyone, no matter how old you are, don’t do it until you're ready. Yes, it may seem you're falling behind socially if all your friends are sexually active, but if you don’t feel ready, don’t as you will be ready one day and it you are more likely not to regret it, which leads me to my next point.

You're more likely to not regret your first time
How many times have you heard your friends other say that they regret their first time and wish they hadn’t lost it then? Too many times in my experience. This is something you are unlikely to do as you're older and more emotionally mature than you were in your teens when many of your friends lost theirs. Therefore you’re more likely to be sure you want to lose it and to who as well.

Friends may take the mick but they don’t really care (or shouldn’t)
Maybe this is more relevant for guys, who on occasion may take the mick out of a mate who is a virgin. In reality though, they don't care, nor they should. In all honesty, it has shocked them that I am, and towards the end of uni, some of them were wondering what girls they could hook me up with every time we went out. As well as this, if they do care about you being a virgin, are they really a friend?

Don't let it define who you are
You may (like I did), let it start to define who you are, but you really shouldn't as it’ll just make you feel down and depressed. Let the other accomplishments and milestones you have already achieved define you. Having sex is just a life milestone you haven’t reached yet - just like people in their 20s who havent passed their driving test. They are both things which we are expected to have done by our 20s. This feeling will only be worse if you let it define you and your worth as a person. If you let other things scubas accomplishments define you, you will be more confident and in turn more likely lose it.

It does have its advantages
At the end of the day being a virgin and/or not sexually active does believe it or not have its benefits. You don't have to worry about unplanned pregnancies or STI’s or having to worry about carrying contraceptives on you etc For the former, I’d rather be a virgin than to have had STIs or even a baby at 23.

I hope that small advice is helpful to some of you, and remember, it will happen it its own time and you shouldn't worry about it or care what others think, as most dont care and for the ones that do, are usually quite insecure about themselves so feel like they have to put others down to give themselves some form of self-validation.

Jack
I clicked on this expecting it to be some a post sneering at me, or a troll post. Got a nice surprise when I read it
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cbreef
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(Original post by UWS)
Depends how much your virginity means to you. You may regret it later on if you're just doing it for the sake of it. It'll happen one day, as the OP said, don't rush it.
Are you a virgin Mr UWS?
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username3108158
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(Original post by cbreef)
Are you a virgin Mr UWS?
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Cubone-r)
You are not a real man until you get chlamydia.
Idiot
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Cubone-r
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Idiot
Lol, I thought that quite clearly came over as a joke. Guess not.:laugh:
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Cubone-r)
Lol, I thought that quite clearly came over as a joke. Guess not.:laugh:
To some of the younger end, no
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TheBBQ
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
I clicked on this expecting it to be some a post sneering at me, or a troll post. Got a nice surprise when I read it
I thought you were in a relationship for some time now, and married?
Or is that someone else :confused:
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Sammylou40
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Excellent advice
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Jack22031994
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
Excellent advice
Thanks
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TaintedLight
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wow was that actual real actual advise stuff?? =S
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by TheBBQ)
I thought you were in a relationship for some time now, and married?
Or is that someone else :confused:
Nope, that's def someone else
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